another crazy WOD. I don't remember what all we had to do, and for some reason I didn't take a picture of the white board like I usually do. The best I can remember we had to do 30 Dead Lifts, Run 400 meters, 30 Sumo High Pulls w/a Kettle Bell, 100 ab mat sit-ups (i only made it to 80) and 7 Wall Crawls, then maybe 15 dead lifts, Run 200 meters, 15 sumo high pulls, 50 ab mat sit-ups and 7 Wall Crawls. It was a difficult but do-able workout. Now that I think about it, I didn't take a picture because afterwards I was talking to Andrea about some of my food/eating issues. She and I share a very unfortunate history of having an eating disorder. While that sucks, having someone to talk to that understands that the age old, "It's really not that hard, you know you need to eat, so just do it" isn't helpful for someone who has an overwhelming fear of food and what it does to my body.
I have made a couple of small realizations after this discussion with Andrea:
1--I need to get some help to get over the fear/anxiety that I have over managing my diet.
2--old fears and anxieties are rearing their heads now because I want this so badly and am frustrated at the slow progress
3--If I just eat what is available or what I want without holding my own feet to the fire about the healthiness of the food choice I don't have the issue with fear and anxiety. When I start asking myself whether I am making good decisions or not is when this becomes a huge issue, because the fear and anxiety take over and then I just don't eat anything because I'd rather eat nothing at all, than to eat something really bad. I know what you want to say to the screen now, so please refer to the underlined quote above.
On Saturday I went to CrossFit Clayton for a nutritional workshop with Jared Olson of Next Level Nutrition and was blown away by the information I got. Like any other person who is an intellectual, when I don't understand something, I start seeking out information so I can start to understand what I am facing, and this workshop was an AMAZING help. I had Jared do the measurements for BioSignature profile and just happened to have the lab report from my physical in February in my car, so I was able to provide that information to him as well. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have never really grasped the concept that what I eat doesn't just affect my weight, it also affects all of my hormones and bodily functions and systems on a cellular level. I am so grateful that God put me in a position to get to gain this knowledge and start to understand this. I am going to be working with Jared and Next Level Nutrition to help me get my body back to doing what it is supposed to naturally, and part of that is to make a drastic change to my eating habits. As time goes on, I am gaining more and more weapons for my health and wellness arsenal to reach my ultimate goals.
When we were stretching Coach Dan looked at me, remembering my conversation with him last week about scaling and feeling like I needed to know when it was appropriate to scale and said, "Half. Just do half of everything." I knew I would have to do half of the runs because the 3 miles prescribed would take me 45-50 minutes alone, and that is without stopping to lift weights. I did do my 20 Thrusters, but realized very quickly that doing all of everything but half the running would still take me quite a long time. After the thrusters, I moved to half of every exercise. It ended up taking me 38:40 to finish the workout, even with it being Half. Dan told me that the fact that I was finishing among the other people in class, not first, not last, indicates that it was scaled appropriately. I totally get that, but can't help but wonder, how in the world I know what it will take to scale everything this well.
Tonight is a run night, and I will be going 30 minutes. My goal is to make it 2-1/2 miles in my 30 minutes, which would mean that I am picking up my pace and my endurance. Hopefully starting to get on the right track with eating, and supplements and regular exercise will help me start to see the changes in my body happening faster, my strength and endurance improving, and my overall ability levels increasing as well. In the mean-time, here is a picture that I found pretty darn amazing. When someone is working toward losing weight, it is literally a day-to-day struggle, and because we see ourselves in the mirror every day, it is difficult to notice the small changes that are happening. When I got ready for my workout last night I put on my Running Moms Mafia shirt from the Diva Half Marathon that was run in Myrtle Beach in May. I believe the race was on May 20th, so not quite 5 months ago. I was amazed at the difference, specifically around my mid-section. There is an obvious roll of fat/skin above my belly button in the picture on the left, and while I wouldn't say I'm "thinner" that roll is obviously less noticeable. So, not quite 3 months into CrossFit and 5 months out from the picture, and I see a noticeable difference around my mid-section. I think I'll take another picture in this outfit at the end of the year to see the change with better nutrition and supplementation.
|pic taken 5/20/12 pic taken 10/15/12|