The Incredible Shrinking Krista

Monday, February 3, 2014


So, for every person there is something that they fear.  There are the obvious, like Snakes (for me), and thunder storms, and spiders.

Well, I had a very eye-opening discussion tonight with my coach for the New Year, New You transformation challenge.  I am so very torn right now about what to do for exercise, etc.  Here I am with a torn meniscus trying to figure out whether to stay in the challenge, or drop out.  What can I really do?

So, my coach just called me out, and honestly, I know I needed it.  But here is the realization I am coming to.  I'm not sure whether I am more scared of failing, or succeeding.  I don't know if I am afraid of hurting myself worse, or just not being able to do what I should.

I know that I get embarrassed about going to the gym still.  Even though I'm down nearly 60 pounds, walking into the gym with all the other fit folks in the gym is still VERY hard.  I still see myself as "the fat girl" and fear being made fun of, which I know intellectually is ridiculous, but it still is a bit frightening.

Why am I so scared?  What am I so scared of?  Is this even remotely normal?  Any of my other WLS friends have this, or is this just me and my insecurities?

I know that I'm not going to quit on the challenge.  I know that I need to get over these fears, but how?  Any of my friends have any suggestions?



The news just keeps getting worse.

I went back to the ortho guy this morning, and he suggested surgery.  Here's the kicker though.  I have a clotting disorder, AND, I have a plane ticket to Nashville on February 25 with my awesome Husband for his 2nd consecutive presentation at an international conference, and we are staying at the Opryland Hotel.  So, clotting disorder + surgery = no flying, for at least 6 weeks...

This means that my surgery cannot be scheduled until March 6th (he always does surgeries on Thursday).  That means that I get to be in pain for a whole nother month, no running, high impact anything, and no training.....

That ALSO means, no RNR Raleigh Half marathon for least that I can figure.  I think I'm going to try walking/running laps in the pool, and swimming, to keep from jarring the knee, to help build endurance and cardio conditioning in the mean time, and hope that AFTER the surgery, I can get in about 4 good weeks of running/walking, and still make a go of the race.  See, they have a "No refunds, No deferrals, No Transfers, No exceptions" rule for Rock 'n Roll half and full marathons, so if I can't figure out a way to get through the training and build my endurance without messing up my knee even worse, then I'm not only not able to race, I'm also out the $$, which just SUCKS!