The Incredible Shrinking Krista

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

I feel liberated....

There is something liberating, and quite frankly, beautiful, about falling in love with yourself.  It would almost be funny if it weren't so sad that it took me nearly 44 years to get here.  I'm allowing my heart to guide me this year, and saying yes and no to things that I determine either do or don't fit into my future.

I started the body transformation challenge with high hopes of getting healthy, and as a bonus side effect, maybe dropping some of the extra pounds I've been carrying around, specifically the 38 I had regained from my lowest weight post weight loss surgery.

As with any goal, it is not a success only journey, but the question is, when faced with adversity, how do you handle it?  How do you respond?

Last week was difficult.  I hurt my knee during Tuesday's workout, nothing major just really inflamed since I have no cartilage in there, and can't take anti-inflammatory medications to help my body handle the swelling after that.  I was in pain, my knee was tight with swelling, so I wasn't able to work out the rest of the week.  I could barely walk, quite frankly.  So I did what I could, and stuck to the meal plan for the most-part, but then when I started to get down, I gave myself permission to fail....but only for a little while.  I knew I wasn't going to lose as much weight as week 1 (5.4 pounds), but I also knew I had no reason/excuse to GAIN weight.  So I did what I could.

One of the interesting side effects of eating whole foods instead of fast food and processed crap is that my body is processing foods the way it should be.  I hadn't made the connection before, and while this is TMI its part of my reality, so I thought I'd share.  I have been taking medication for 2-1/2 years to allow my intestines to process food probably and have some kind of output from my body other than urgent trips to the bathroom with loose bowels.  I haven't taken that medication, nor do I need it, for the last 2 weeks.  I feel good, my body is processing food the way it should, because I'm giving my body what it needs to do so.  I'm down to 1 pill per day which has to do with my clinical depression, and that will likely never go away!

So when I got on the scale last night, I wasn't totally shocked to see I had gained .6 pounds.  I would be lying if I said I was surprised, because how could I be?  I didn't work out and I didn't stick to the meal plan 100%.  My coaches are amazing and super supportive and informed me that week 2 of these type of lifestyle changes is often the hardest.  Rather than throwing in the towel because, "It obviously isn't going to work" I've doubled down and continued to pursue and chase the healthy lifestyle I know I need.  I have all my meals for the week planned and prepped but 1, and I'm pushing myself to do everything by the book.

As for workouts, last night I did my CrossFit workout at CrossFit Brave, then when I got home, I finished setting up my Peloton bike that got delivered yesterday and took it for a bit of a spin.  It was fabulous, and fun, and oh so hard!  It's a different kind of hard than CrossFit which is good.  I was sweating my butt off in the first 10 minutes, and had to convince myself to stay in the ride for the whole 30 minutes.  No CrossFit for me tonight, but I'm going to find this Dirty Dancing Peloton ride I keep hearing about and give it a whirl.

I've found that the longer I stay on this plan, the better I feel, the less I hurt, and people have actually approached me to tell me that I look good and I appear happy.  I hope that's a sign of how well I am adjusting to this new lifestyle.

I am NOT on a diet, I'm changing my life.  I'm hoping these changes lead to a bit more weightloss over the next 7-1/2 weeks until I board that cruise ship and I get on the boat around 185 pounds....As of yesterday, I was at 205.6, but I'll be back to my Saturday morning weigh in this Saturday.  Hopefully my cycling workouts on CrossFit off days will help me continue to see a smaller number on the scale.


Monday, January 14, 2019

Why is this time different?

I keep asking myself this.  What is going to make this time different?  I came to a huge conclusion about this answer on Saturday and wanted to share with you all. 

I have, for many years, made resolutions that required me to lose a certain number of pounds.  I had weight loss surgery 5 years ago, and still wasn't able to stick to the very strict diet required.  Once I got comfortable, I went back to my old habits, so the million dollar question is:

 "Why do I think this time is going to be different?"

Here's the answer I have come to, with some background as to what led me to said answer. 

So, on Friday morning last week, 1/11/19, I walked out of the house without my prepared breakfast, and had to figure out what to eat.  Skipping breakfast is NOT an option on this meal plan, nor is it ever healthy.  For a split second I gave myself permission to indulge in my guilty pleasures, drive through and get sugar laden coffee with a danish or something like I would before I started this process (AGAIN).  Then I snapped back to reality and asked why I was willing to allow myself to fail?  Yes, I admit, I am the queen of self-sabotage, but why?  So instead, I stopped at Starbucks, ordered Sous Vide Egg-white bites with red peppers and a plain oatmeal.  Both things are definitely on my meal plan, and while not necessarily in the correct proportions, it was better than a donut or whatever else I may have caved and eaten. 

Then on Friday night, the CrossFit Brave coach posted the workout I had signed up for on Saturday and it scared me to death!  It was going to be a partner WOD, but we would be doing 3 different CrossFit Games workouts from previous years.  CrossFit Games workouts are BRUTAL!!!  I almost cancelled the class and decided to sleep in, but decided instead I needed to stay in, and not cherry-pick the workouts I was willing to go to. 

On the way home from my workout, I realized something that seems like semantics, but so isn't.  In the past, my resolutions, my weight loss efforts, my weight loss surgery I always explained the same way....."I'm tired of being fat!"  While that is a good motivation to get started, it doesn't keep you honest once you lose the certain number of pounds you had thought of, or decided you had lost enough weight.  This, I believe, is why diets don't work!  Instead, this time, my motivation came from a totally different place, "I want to be healthy!"

Why the change?  I have found 2 lumps in my breasts in the last year.  My doctor was testing me for Auto-Immune disorders last fall because I was exhausted, constantly fatigued, having headaches daily and couldn't fight off a simple cold for 3-1/2 weeks. I cared for my dying mother-in-law last February.  I watch my father suffer with dementia, COPD, and A-fib every day, and I watch my mother struggle with Multiple Sclerosis.  High Blood pressure and High Cholesterol run down both sides of my family, as to heart issues and Strokes.  I cannot continue to shove unhealthy crap in my mouth and expect my body to resemble anything healthy. 

This time, it's about health.  It's about putting good food into my body so it can function at its best.  It's about moving my body and challenging myself so that I don't end up with osteoperosis or other degenerative diseases that run in my family because I made unhealthy decisions for too long.  The difference is that instead of a # on the scale, I'm working toward healthy living, and as we all know, health is NOT determined by the lowest number on the scale.  Weight loss will likely be an exciting side-effect of the healthy eating and working out, but it isn't the focus of my journey! 

So, this year, I started this journey to health at 210.6 according to the scale at the gym last Monday. 
On Saturday at the gym, I was at 205.2.  Down 5.4 # in 6 days. 

This week, I'm definitely working out 3x, maybe 4.  I have all my meals for the week prepped and packed through Friday, so I just have to grab them and go. 


Friday, January 11, 2019

2019---the Journey Continues

It's been over a year since my last blog post, and honestly, 3 years since I posted consistently.  The thing is about a weight loss journey, is that it's like anything else.  When you are super focused on it, and chasing a goal, accountability is key, and makes that goal attainable.  I never reached what I had claimed as my weight goal before my Sleeve Gastrectomy in 2013 (my stated goal was between 145 & 155).  I got as low as 172#, and then life happened.  Sick parents, in-laws, and grandparents.  These things required me to eat at the hospital, or eat out.  I slowly allowed myself to fall back into old, unhealthy habits.  Fast Food, Starbucks fru-fru coffee drinks, sweet tea, bigger and bigger portion sizes. 

In the first 3 years after my surgery, I was running fairly consistently and was able to keep the weight to a healthy level, but in 2016 I was dealt another blow and told to stop running.  After 20+ years of obesity I have literally ZERO cartilage in my left knee.  This is why after my 2 half marathons ins 2016, both time my left knee swelled up like a cantaloupe.  I have also broken my feet and ankles many times, those have led to arthritis that gets worse, not better.....so I gave up.

I gave up, and quit exercising and continued to allow myself to fall back into the old habits, and go further and further down the rabbit hole.  I allowed my frustration over not being able to run to lead back to me sitting on the couch.....NOT GOOD. 

Sometimes road trips have detours, and that's what I've been on.  Basically I detoured from my post-op healthy eating and let myself just wallow in the "I guess I'll just be fat again" pity for a while.  But the thing is, just like detours end, this one had to as well.  It still haunts me that the last thing my grandmother said to me was, "You're starting to gain your weight back and I'm worried about you."
For whatever reason, my brain jumped on board with ending this little detour and I'm back at it. 

I find blogging to be therapeutic.  I like it because I can share what/how I feel, and also hold myself accountable.  My 2019 New Year's Resolution is not one I'm used to.  This year I am focused on being more mindful and healthy in every way; Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually and Mentally.  To that end, since I can't run, and my other favorite workout is CrossFit, I found one near my work, and I LOVE them!  CrossFit Brave is right by my school, which means I can't go home to change clothes before going to work out  (It'd be about 45 minutes round-trip).  That means I have to bring my clothes to work with me in the mornings and be prepared to go work out after school.  That also means I can't go home with the best of intentions of "coming back to work out later" and getting too comfortable snuggled up on the couch.  As part of joining I decided to participate in a 6 week/42 day Body Transformation Challenge.  This means that I also get a meal plan to follow, accountability, weekly weigh-ins and coaching.  I'm finishing up my first week, and I love how it's going. 

I meal-prepped on Sunday night and packed up most of my food for the week.  It's good to just open the refrigerator, grab what you need and go for the day.  Today, that kind of got wei-leid as I left my healthy prepared food at home.  For a hot second I thought I might just cave and buy some of that greasy fast food that I love (But have figured out this week that my body hates).  Then I decided that speed bumps didn't have to mean failure.  I drove through Starbucks this morning, and rather than a fru-fru coffee drink and oatmeal with a crap ton of brown sugar (My go-to) I ordered classic oatmeal with no toppings and the Egg-white Sous Vide bites with red pepper.  They were DELICIOUS, and fulfilled the protein portion of my breakfast.  Sadly, the folks at Starbucks didn't see fit to put the hot water in my oats to actually make it oatmeal.  It's all good though.....I just kept rolling.  I'm short on veggies and carbs for today, but that's fine. 

Now, the working out part, that's a whole different beast.  My body loves and hates CrossFit simultaneously.  I love how it makes me feel, my body seems to naturally move the way it should, but it's been YEARS since I've lifted.  I worked out Monday and was still struggling to walk yesterday, but still went to work out again. 

Strength--Find our 1-rep max back squat. 
I'd have to look back to see what mine was before, as I can't even begin to remember, but I was concerned so I started out with the 35# bar only.  I ended up maxing out at 115#, which felt FABULOUS!

WOD: Our WOD was insane, and I'm still sore!
3 rounds, count how many reps of each movement you do

1 minute front squat (I used dumbbells since I'm not quite up to par yet)
1 minute sit-ups
100 meter run in 1 minute (this only counted as a rep if you got back into the building before the minute was up)

1st round I got in 39 reps---and yes, I made it back into the building on the run
2nd round I got in 36 reps--yep, made it back into the building again, so the run counted, but only barely
3rd round I only got 27 reps.  My quads were burning like mad, felt like I might vomit on the sit-ups, and the nausea got worse on the run.  Nope, didn't make it back this time for the run to count.

I got in 102 reps.  It felt AMAZING, and while my body HATES me at the moment, I'm SO GLAD I'm getting to do CrossFit again. 

I'm going to be blogging regularly again this year, as I get back on track for this journey.  I've set a few small goals:

In the 6 weeks of the challenge, I'm hoping to average about 2 pounds of weight loss per week.  That would put me right around 196 on my bathroom scale at home, on Sunday mornings, before eating anything.

I plan on continuing this meal plan/working out for an additional month, leading up to our Cruise in March.  That would be 11 weeks, and thus, 22 pounds of weightloss.  On my scale at home, that would mean I'd board the cruise ship around 184 pounds. 

After the cruise, I plan to continue a similar, but not as restrictive meal plan, and work outs, so that I can continue to lose weight.  I don't have a specific number in mind, but I figure fit and healthy sounds like a good goal, right? 

I hope you'll join me on the continuation of this journey and help to hold me accountable. 

Here's to Healthy accomplishments in 2019!!