The Incredible Shrinking Krista

Monday, January 28, 2013

I am a CrossFit Athlete

I have been writing this post in my head for 2 full days and I'm still not sure where to begin.  2 showers since I finished my first CrossFit competition, and my number is still showing up on my hand.  The fact is, even once it's gone, the pride I have for having done what I did this weekend will take a whole lot longer to be washed away.

I spent this weekend at my first ever CrossFit Competition, War of the WODS.  I signed up and immediately questioned my sanity, but it was done, and I was locked in.  I have decided to start pushing myself out of my comfort zone this year, and that totally happened this weekend.

So, we woke up at 6:35 on Saturday morning, got our breakfast in at the hotel, and headed off to the competition.  We got checked in, walked into the athlete baggage area and I knew I was in well over my head.  These people looked like beasts, fit, strong; both mentally and physically, They had nutrition routines that they were already following, specific stretches to do, they were taping up, drinking certain shakes, and I felt like a total fake.  I didn't spend much time in that area for that very reason.  It is intimidating, to say the least.  So I spent my time watching the competitors.  This is a double-edged sword.  It is intimidating as hell to see people kill the WODs, but I could fade into the audience as just another spectator.

By the time I was going to do my first WOD I was intimidated, but resigned.  I was going to do the best that I possibly could, whatever that meant.  I had attempted this WOD at our box the day it was released and was surprised at how much it took out of me.  The WOD was 30 reps of cleans at 45#, 30 reps at 65#, 30 reps at 85# and the remainder of reps in a 7 minute time frame at 105#.  When I attempted it at the box, I finished 66 reps total, and was hoping for more the day of the competition.  I approached the WOD differently, but the outcome didn't change much.  I was jumping up and down, literally, due to cold and nerves.  A girl named Kristin from CrossFit Sanford approached me, told me she was scared too, and wished me luck.  Sportsmanship at its finest.  Once the clock counted down, 3-2-1, GO I was in the zone.  I heard NOTHING but my judge counting for me.  I had realized before we started that when I practiced, I loaded the bar one way, but at the competition, that wasn't possible.  In practice I used a 45# bar, added 10# weights to each side after the first 30, then added 10# more and never got beyond the 85# set.  When we got there, we had a 35# bar, a 5# plate, a 10# plate, a 15# plate, and 25# plate for each side, so I had to change how I loaded my bar...not easy to do on the fly.  I ended up completing 67 reps, 1 better than I had gotten in practice, but still was proud of how I did.  I didn't check standings for myself for a while, didn't want to be discouraged.

The second WOD, while it is my forte, was very scary.  We don't have a Yoke at our Box, and the WOD was 5 minutes to find your 1 rep max Snatch.  Before each attempt you had to carry a Yoke to the other end of the parking lot and back.  My intent was to make 3 attempts, starting at 65#.  My best ever snatch before the competition was 70#.  I should have started at 70 or 75#, but you know what they say about hindsight being 20/20.  So I carried the Yoke down and back, by the way, it weighs 100#.  I got back and threw the 65# Snatch up like it was nothing.  Down and back with the yoke, and did 75#, again, no problem.  Now, this is when the weather started to get the best of me.  It was a whopping 26* outside overnight, and the bars were freezing cold.  After 2 rounds, having numb hands makes it incredibly difficult to squeeze the clamps and unload/reload the bar.  So I come back from my 3rd trip with the yoke, and threw up 85#.  This wasn't so easy, but I did it still on the first attempt.  Went down and back with the yoke, and the 4th time getting the clamps off the bar was nearly impossible.  I added 5#, to put me at 90#, and I really think if I had had time for 2 more attempts, I would have gotten it, but the first attempt, I barely got it above the bridge of my nose, and it has to be above your head, so I got no-repped, and only had 15 seconds left to attempt down and back w/the yoke and get it again, not nearly enough time so I was done.

At this point I heard that standings had been posted and I went over to peruse them, finding myself in 18th place after the 1st wod out of the 22 people who showed up, and tied for 10th in the second wod, again, out of 22 people.

Next we headed inside to the Samurai WOD.  This WOD was incredibly difficult for me for a couple of reasons.  It was a LONG WOD first of all.  Secondly, we don't have rowers at our box.  Thirdly, The last thing in the WOD was hand-stand push ups.  I can't do hand-stands yet, so HSPU are pretty much completely out of the question.  I asked about doing them with my knees on a box, and they offered me the option of putting my knees on one of the weight benches.  I accepted, not wanting to take a 0 on the last round.  I was going to beast out as much as I could do in the first 4 rounds, but still didn't want a 0.  So the Wod went like this, Row for 2 minutes for maximum meters, rest 1 minute.  Bench press 75# for max # of reps in 2 minutes, rest for 1 minute.  Jump rope for 2 minutes, (double-unders counted for 3x what single-unders did), rest for one minute.  Squat Jumps to a 45# plate for max # in 2 minutes, 1 minute rest.  2 minutes for max reps of HSPU.  I rowed for 375 meters, (the least of all scaled female competitors), I did 24 bench presses, 134 single unders, 31 squat jumps to the plate, and I think it was 27 push ups.  I say I think because since I scaled it an no one else did, I got no credit.  I got a 0 even though I did 27 push-ups with my knees on the bench.  It was very painful, but I pushed through every single rep, every single second.


The final WOD had me completely nauseated just thinking about it!  I had watched my workout buddies finish in 8 minutes, and we had a 10 minute max.  The WOD was 8 rounds of 8 sumo dead lift High-pulls with a 35# kettle bell, 4 burpees over a 20" box and 10 wall ball shots with a 10# ball over the 8' line.  Now, the thing is this, I have only ever worked out with a 26# kettle bell, I've only ever worked out with a 12" box and I've always used an 8# med. ball for wall ball shots.  My hands are sweating just typing this.  When the clock started, so did I.  The thing is, I zone out when I work out.  I don't hear anything, I just focus on what I'm doing and need to get done.  The only thing I could hear was my judge Karen counting for me and encouraging me, and unfortunately, I heard the words "no-rep" more times than I would have liked, but I would have been pissed if I hadn't heard them when I wasn't meeting the standards.  I think I was about 3 rounds in and was seriously struggling with the burpees over the box and one of the judges who wasn't judging anyone that heat came running over and started to encourage me.  I found out later that his name was Jon Ingram.  He was amazing for coming to encourage me.  Out of nowhere he was telling me to push, to keep going, to not think about it.  I couldn't hear the crowd at all, I couldn't even hear my CrossFit APX buddies, who I am certain were screaming their heads off with how much we were screaming at everyone else.  So at that point I had 2 things in my ear, my buddy Karen counting for me, and my new found cheerleader, Jon screaming in the other ear all kinds of encouraging things to push me.  I think it was the wall-balls during the 3rd round and continuing on that I felt like I was going to lose the lunch I had eaten a few hours before.  I told Karen at one point, "I'm going to puke" she put her hand out and said, "I'll catch it, just keep going!!!"  That, is a true friend.  I heard them call time as I was getting ready to do one of my round 5 burpees, either #2 or 4, and I literally just melted into the floor.  I collapsed and just started bawling.  The next thing I knew, I had people rubbing me on the back and hugging me.  They were telling me how awesome I did, and how I had rocked it.  The pictures made it very evident that I had absolutely given my all.

The Awesomeness that is the CrossFit community is unparalleled.  I had gone into this weekend completely terrified of embarrassing myself.  I was so afraid that I was going to be the elephant in the room that everyone was talking about.  They would be wondering who let this fat chick sign up, or even feel like a side-show freak at a circus.  This is why I felt so uncomfortable in the baggage area at the competition.  What I found was amazing folks that encouraged me, athletes that competed at the RX level who took the time to stop me and tell me how proud I should be of myself.  There were women in the crowd that stopped me to tell me that they couldn't do what I had done and how incredible I was.  It was humbling for sure.  Even yesterday, when I was there as a spectator, people would stop me and say, "Hey, you competed yesterday, didn't you?  You were awesome!  I have never believed that I could inspire anyone, but this weekend showed me that I might be doing just that.  Those folks didn't have to encourage me.  Jon didn't have to come over and help me in the middle of the workout.  I am humbled, I am inspired, and I am IN IT! I feel so confident, a completely foreign feeling for me.  I am so ready to really hit this, and continue doing what I have been, but at a way higher level.  I need to get my HSPU, I need to get this weight off, and I NEED to continue this journey.  The funny thing about this weekend was the unbelievable number of people who commented on my "Good form".  I have always wondered if I was doing things right, were my coaches going easy on me because my weight has limited me to a certain level, but with the comments I heard this weekend, I'm thinking that I may actually have a body that moves well naturally, so the weight is truly the only thing holding me back.  The mental part is no longer holding me back, I feel a strange confidence I have never before experienced.  

This is what it looks like when you have given you're all you have nothing left in the tank, but you are surrounded by amazing friends who love you, even when you are sweaty, threatening to puke, and crying.  I love you girls!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


Tonight was THAT NIGHT.  You know that old saying, "No good deed goes unpunished"?  yeah, well, today was proof positive of that statement being true.

So after doing my first real burpees during a WOD last night, I was feeling pretty confident when I walked into the box tonight.  I saw my buddy Jeff and he said, "I'm so glad you're here tonight!"  then our friend Robert said, "Don't even look it's better that way."  So you know, kind of like watching a train wreck, someone tells you not to look and what do you do?  You look.  Everyone does....Oh lord, I looked and wished I hadn't.

We had but 1 WOD tonight, and it was a simple one to remember to be able to write down here....

WOD #1:

100 burpees for time

Really? So, my reward for figuring out how to do real burpees is LOTS-O-PRACTICE!!!  It was tough.  Jeff told me not to look at the clock, to face the back wall of the box and just keep going.  I made tick marks on a mini whiteboard, 10 of them, at the end of each 10 burpees, I wiped one off.  The first 20 went by pretty quickly, but then it started to get tough.  Around 40 I really started to struggle and noticed that Trell and one or 2 others were already done.  I mean, really?  I'm slow as crap, but that was fast.  As time went on, I noticed that more people were finishing, and I was just plugging along.  At one point my right shoe came off because it was tied loosely, like I do when I'm going to be running since my feet swell, not necessary for 100 burpees.  Then I realized my left big toe was getting caught when I went down, so I had to put my shoes back on.  I continued plugging along, and by the time I had 40 left, everyone but me was done.    I'm not sure when, but my buddy Karen came over and started doing burpees facing me and helping me count and keep going.  Then Andi came over, and Andrea, and Jeff, and Trell, and Bryan, and Bruce.  By the time I had about 30 left, they were all doing them with me, cheering me on, encouraging me to breathe.  THIS, my friends and family, is why I do CrossFit.  Those folks did way more than their 100 burpees, and they didn't have to do it.  They could all have popped a squat right there, sat cross-legged and counted for me, or cheered me on, but they did my burpees with me.  They counted with me.  This is why I LOVE CrossFit APX and the people I have met there.  It is all a mental thing.  I said going in, "I can't do 100 burpees."  Jeff said, "Can you do 10?"  "Yep"  "okay, so do 10, and then just keep doing 10 at a time, until you've done 100".

These people have shown me love and support that is unbelievable to me.  They didn't have to do the extra burpees, but they did, to help me, to encourage me, and to support me.  I love my CrossFit APX family.  LOVE THEM!  So that is my workouts for the week, until Saturday.  I am competing Saturday, and will get at least 4 WODs in.  If I am in the final, which I HIGHLY doubt, it would be 5.

If you ever want somewhere to workout, come over to CrossFit APX.  They are all AMAZING!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Oh What Fun!!

So excited to get to CrossFit APX tonight.  I missed my workout last night thanks to a mean old hateful migraine that put me on the couch from about 4 till 7:30.  I am competing this weekend, so missing extra workouts just isn't an option.  I went in tonight and saw that our 1st WOD included the Bear Complex...ugh, I am not a fan, but it's all good, because fan or not, I showed up, and I was gonna do it.

So..WOD #1: 12 minute AMRAP
Bear Complex
  1. Clean
  2. Front Squat
  3. Push Press
  4. Back Squat
  5. Push Press
5 burpees
10 Toes to bar

In my 12 minutes I completed 5 rounds of the above.  The exciting news it, I DID REAL BURPEES!  I DID REAL BURPEES!!  I did all of them.  I've tried once or twice to do real burpees, but after 3 or 4 I'd have to revert back to putting my hands on the box.  The reality is, the burpee itself isn't that bad, it is getting all of this big body up off the floor after doing it.  Bit having completed 5 rounds tonight, that means I did 25 burpees.  I still can't do Toes to bar yet, so I did the dead hang and pull my knees up as far as possible.

WOD #2: 5 minute AMRAP
5 Hand Stand Push Ups
10 box jumps

I can't do Hand stands yet, let alone HSPU.  So, I had to modify and put my knees on the box.  I still wasn't quite doing them right, but Jeff K. showed me a better way to do it afterwards, and it is actually much easier.  I also did my box jumps without stopping.  I almost took a pretty good tumble.  My right foot was half on and half off the box, so started to go to the right, caught myself, but then about fell forward and smashed my face into the wall.  Thankfully I didn't crash and burn, and was able to continue.  I finished my lasts 2 jumps in that round and went right back to my push-ups.  I ended up completing 4 rounds.  I need to get used to being upside down.  Every time I have to go back and forth between things like sit-ups and push-ups, or HSPU and box jumps, when I stand up I get light-headed.  I am not getting enough oxygen to my brain I guess.  I don't know.  

After the 2 WODs we started working on Snatches.  This weekend at the competition we have 5 minutes to find our 1 rep max snatch.  I did quite a few 65# snatches.  I think on Saturday I'm going to start at a 75# attempt.  Tonight's workout was by no means a cake walk, but it was fun!  I pushed myself, I recovered quickly after a near failure, I pushed my limits.  Pretty excited about how it happened tonight and looking forward to this weekend.  

Now--after the kids are in bed, I'm off for a 1 hour run, hopefully getting in 3-1/2 to 4 miles.  I tweaked the intervals so we'll see how it goes w/a shorter run interval and a bit longer walk interval.

Till next time, 

Princess Krista

Love and Support are VITAL!!!

Sometimes when things get rough and you start to question your ability to complete some of your goals it is the love and support of your friends and family that mean the difference between successful completion and throwing in the towel.

I am in a group of running moms on Facebook and they are some of the most amazing women I have ever encountered.  I have mentioned them before, some are "Ironmen" some are marathon winners, some are on journeys to lose weight and change their lifestyle like I am and some are ultra marathon runners.  We are all supportive of each other, and I often feel unworthy to be a member of their group.  Well, I started freaking out after my run/walk on Saturday because my pace was right around 20 minutes/mile, and to not get swept, I need to be under 16 minutes/mile.  I was freaking out.  I went on the page for the RMM and immediately they jumped in to encourage me.  They gave me training tips, and things.  One of them, Denise, who just ran the Goofy challenge earlier this month (Half Marathon on Saturday, full marathon on Sunday at WDW) said she was on the search for a bib to be able to do the half with me.  She messaged me last night saying that she thought she had a bib, and if her starting corral was ahead of mine, she would drop back and start with me and pace me for the entire race so I don't get swept.  If my corral is ahead of hers, she will run till she catches me, then pace me to the finish.  I have never encountered this kind of support in my life.  I have never had a group of people so willing to encourage me and help me reach a goal.

I also met with the owner of my CrossFit box yesterday.  She has struggled with an eating disorder as well, so she understands how overwhelming it can be to totally change  my eating.  We sat and talked yesterday and she asked me to work on 1 meal at a time.  Once I have breakfast figured out, and I'm really comfortable with eating breakfast that is good and healthy every day, we'll move on to addressing lunch and eventually dinner.  We'll work on one meal/snack at a time so as not to overwhelm me.  She also encouraged my running/walking, and said that continuing to run/walk will help with my cardio vascular endurance, and help me to start seeing results faster.

I feel like I am surrounded by people who are fully invested in me making good choices and realizing my long-term goal of getting this weight off and being healthy.  In the mean-time, Andrea asked me to come up with my short term, mid-term and long term goals, and we will continue to work toward, here goes:

Short Term Goals:
1--Finish the Princess Half Marathon
2--Start finding ways to love/accept myself

Mid-Term goals:
1--dedicate myself to a running & CrossFit routine
2--Start following my heart to do the things that I enjoy
3--get a decent grip/understanding of food/nutrition

Long term goals:
1--Run a marathon
2--Become a certified CrossFit coach
3--Reach the full potential of my body
4--Get healthy/fit.  Weight is not my focus, health and fitness is.

Until next time!


Saturday, January 19, 2013

Training walk

Today I had a really rough run/walk.  I'm sad to say that in typical "krista" fashion I have sabotaged myself yet again, but I've caught on to my problem and begun the work necessary to hopefully keep that from happening. 

I went for my first long run/walk since the Battleship Half Marathon in November.  I did 4 miles today, and it took me an hour and 20 minutes to do it...that's a straight up 20 minute per mile pace....Princess requires a 16 minute per mile pace to not get swept so I have got some SERIOUS work to do in the next 5 weeks to speed myself up! 

The good news is that I tried some Cliff Block Shots and they are tasty and don't make me queasy at all, so I have my nutrition figured out.  I also wore my iFitness belt for the first time today, and was glad to see that it didn't ride up AT ALL and it is very comfortable.  I love it!

Now, for the plan.....

I can't reduce my time at CrossFit, it is my addiction, my niche, and the place that I feel the most amazing in a workout environment. 

I need to build up my Cardio Endurance, and that is going to require some serious work and dedication in the next 5 weeks.

I am going to need to Run 3 times/week.  Tuesday and Thursdays will be evening runs, once the kids are in bed, in the 'hood, and running intervals for speed.  I will be spending an hour each of those nights, and hoping to get to where 1 hour = 4 miles, before the Princess. 

On Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings I am going to swim.  I am hoping this will help me to build the cardio endurance w/o hurting my joints. 

So, project Princess is in full effect.  Any of you that would like to run with/train with/encourage me on runs that live in the area I'd love to have your help.  Emily ran with me this morning, and she was awesome and patient!!  Kara?  Elizabeth?  April?  Jeff?  Robert?!?!?!  Anyone?!?!

Till next time....
Princess Krista

Friday, January 18, 2013

Let me re-introduce myself. Hello...I am a badass!

Well, Hello Grace!  We meet again!!

The last time I did Grace, on November 19th, it took me 5:18 to finish my 30 clean and jerks, at 65# and proceeded to go to the parking lot and vomit.

Today I bumped up my weight up to 75#, and I finished in 5:10.  I was so proud, and no pukies this time either which makes it even better.

Then we worked on dead lifts as our strength skill.  My 1 rep max in the past was 225, but we did it immediately after warming up (no lifting before that) and it was truly 1 rep and done.  So we were paired/grouped together based on strength, and again Andrea assigned me to work with 2 gentlemen, 2 that I really like and both of whom inspire me, which makes it even better.  So I was going to lift with Phillip and Robert.  We started at 95# for 5 reps, then up to 135# for 5 reps, 150# for 5 reps, and 175 for 3 reps.  We all did these weights/reps, and Robert was still making it look incredibly easy.  He had already PR'd by 10# and I felt like he had a lot more in him, maybe even 200#.  He wasn't so sure.  So we next put 200# on the bar, and dropped down to 3 reps of each weight.  Robert did his, Phillip did his, and then one of them asked me if I was going to "try".  Try my butt, I was going to lift it.  And I did, 3x.  Then we went up to 220.  By this point my back and my body were sore....30 dead lifts, and 21 dead lifts building up to 220.  I tried twice to lift it, but I just didn't have that much strength left to get it done.

Here's the cool part.  I really felt like a badass.  I know, I know, unlady-like to say that, and probably inappropriate to brag, but there is something in me that when I think someone is questioning my ability to lift weight it pushes me, and increases my desire to do just that.  Even cooler than that, is I was making suggestions on form for Robert as he was lifting.  I have grown to LOVE the idea of being a certified CrossFit coach once I have found my groove, and gotten my weight down where it should be.  I like encouraging, teaching and coaching...I think I have found my niche, and it is CrossFit.

Till next time...


Thursday, January 17, 2013

Hey Barbara....I want a rematch!

I went last night to do my CrossFit WOD, knowing I was way behind on my nutrition for the day, but I NEEDED the workout, both physically and mentally. I had heard that Barbara was on deck, so I went and looked it up online and saw that Barbara is 20 pull-ups, 30 push ups, 40 sit-ups and 50 air squats. I thought, "Well, that's gonna be tough but I think I can handle it". I was talking to one of my 5:30 buddies, who has been doing doubles the last few weeks and she said, "It's 5 rounds" and I felt my heart drop. Then I decided it would be fine, and I was going to go and introduce myself to Barbara.

Well, I did just that. I went, I got warmed up, I set up my station, and When the clock hit 0, I started.

20 pull-ups (I still used the red band)

30 push-ups (the girlie kind)

40 sit-ups

50 air squats

Round 1 completed in 6:33. Round 2 completed in 7 minutes. Round 3 completed in 8 minutes.

Round 4 I did my pull-ups, I did my push-ups but I could feel myself getting far weaker with each one. I got in position to do my sit-ups. I laid there for a second to catch my breath, and I felt myself shaking, internally, all over. I felt like my heart was gonna burst through my chest wall at any second. I did 1 sit-up and felt and saw my world caving in. I had tunnel vision and everything in the periphery was white. I laid myself right back down on the floor to let it pass.

Now, there are some lessons to be learned here:

1--DO NOT do Barbara without a healthy day of eating. I had missed breakfast due to appointments, so All I had had was a cup of coffee, a slice of banana bread, about 15 french fries, and 72 oz of water....the last I had eaten was at about 2:30 and that was the 15 french fries.

2--Many have asked, “Why are the workouts named after Girls?” Coach Glassman, the founder and President of CrossFit explained it best. “I want to explain the workout once and then give it a name. I thought that anything that left you flat on your back, looking up at the sky asking ‘what just happened to me?’ deserved a females name. Workouts are just like storms, they wreak havoc on towns.” Mission Accomplished! As such, I will point out that it is INCREDIBLY embarrassing to have 2 gentlemen from the next WOD have to come help you up off the floor and over to the couch in the office.

3--If you have ever been left laying in the floor of the box, sweating, crying, shaking and feeling like you are on the verge of passing out, there is absolutely NO doubt you gave the workout everything you had in the tank.

4--I LOVE to be challenged, and can't wait for my rematch with Barbara. She's a witch, but one I look forward to meeting again soon!

After about 45 minutes getting my breath, cooling off and getting warmed up. I had overheated, and had also hadn't had enough to eat to fuel my body. Not going to be able to let that happen again.

Till next time...


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

War of the WODs

So, last weekend I decided it was time to jump WAY outside of my comfort zone.  I have heard repeatedly that if you want to change, you have to push yourself into a place you aren't comfortable.  This is a major leap for me, because I am of the firm belief that I should be prepared at all time.  I typically do not undertake any task that I haven't already prepared for, both mentally and physically for a long time.  I didn't try out for athletics teams in high school unless I KNEW I had the ability to make the team.  When I tried out for Softball, I KNEW i had the skills to make it.  When I tried out for color guard, I knew I could do it.  I've never gone completely out of my comfort zone but once (remember the Princess Half Marathon 2012?)  Well, when I've jumped really far out of my comfort zone, I have failed, MISERABLY!  So, fast forward to now, 2 weeks before a CrossFit competition.  On the day of the War of the WODs, I will be 1 day shy of 6 months at CrossFit.  I have been told that CrossFit competitions aren't about judgement and that I'm not going to embarrass myself or anyone else, and that it is a very supportive environment, but really?  All 254# of me, competing at a a CrossFit competition?  Am I going to be the laughing stock for how much I have to scale?  Has I lost my mind? 

Last night I was invited to a WOD specifically for those folks who are competing at Greensboro.  They have started to release the WODs for the scaled division.  After signing up I realized that some of the women at our box that I look up to the most and jokingly, but in all seriousness say regularly, "I want to be her when I grow up" about, are going to be in the same division....including one of our coaches. WOW...I WAY overestimated my ability to participate in this.  When I went to the WOD last night I had a specific strategy in my head, and failed.  I think I went too fast right out of the gate, and if I had slowed down, controlled my breathing and stuff, I could have done more reps, because I got gassed really quick since my cardio is my downfall.  I'm going to try the WOD again, maybe this Sunday with a totally different strategy and see if it goes better.  I just don't know. 

After last night, I am even more certain that I may have bitten off more than I can chew.  I keep going back to the blog I read last week, about a CrossFit Athlete in San Diego who started CrossFit at 418 pounds.  At the time the blog was written, she was at 268 pounds in 2 years.  In the blog it talks about how this lady has signed up for every competition they have hosted at their box, and has visited 72 different boxes since she started CrossFit.  This is the hard part for me, and probably for most overweight folks.  The reality is, we have a comfort zone where we have surrounded ourselves with people who may not understand our struggle, but have grown to like us, and encourage us.  I feel that way at CrossFit APX.  The coaches are amazing, our box owner has believed in me since day 1, when I clearly didn't. I've spent hours sitting on a big tire in the parking lot talking to Andrea about eating disorders, the process of gaining strength, confidence and the journey of health and fitness.  It is scary to go to another box, or put myself out in front of people who don't know how far I've come, especially when my biggest fear is being judged for my weight.  I keep reminding myself of Irene Mejia and what she has accomplished, I know that it is time to push beyond my comfort zone, and take the next step.  I have a huge support system, both my family and my box, but I don't have the self-confidence.  This is so SCARY for me, but I'm going to do my very best.  I will push beyond my fear, and I will do everything within my power to finish strong at this competition. 

Wow--this is scary, but it needs to be done!  I can't succeed at something I'm too scared to try, so here goes nothing!


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Kids' WOD and upcoming events....

Yesterday was family WOD day at CrossFit APX and my kiddos were SOOOO excited to go.  We thought we had missed it last weekend.  We spent not quite an hour in the parking lot doing frog jumps, duck walks, squats, jumping jacks, Fireman carry (My middle child weighs 75#, I have a WHOLE new respect for firefighters to have to carry full size adults out of a fire.)  At the end, my little man asked to climb the rope, and fir the first time ever, he made it all the way to the top of the rope and touched the duct tape, which I believe is 15 or 20 feet.

We got done and quite a few of my buddies were still working hard to finish Murph.  I was hoping to get to do Murph yesterday, but that's okay, working out with my kiddos made it worth it.

I came home and I'm not sure what has gotten into me, but I signed up to compete in my first ever crossfit competition.  It is on January 26, and while I'm scared half out of my mind, the only way to continue to grow and improve is to push beyond your fears and limitations.  So--I registered.  I really think I'm losing my mind, and am horribly terrified that I will embarrass my box owner, or myself, and fail miserably, but I'm hoping not.

Finally, I've posted a couple of times about supplements that I am taking to help me with the weightloss process.  I first want to say, that I do NOT believe in the magic pill theory.  Everything in the supplements is natural and it is working for me, when I eat a clean diet and get in my exercise as well.  If I don't eat well, and exercise, they have no effect what-so-ever.  They are really helpful in curbing my appetite and keeping me on track but if I don't eat the right things, I don't see the scale going down.

I'm really excited, because since January 1st, I have lost 9 pounds.  I feel good, and it's helping to fight the cravings.  I'm cutting out the sugars and stuff slowly instead of all at once, because all at once makes me very sick, and I feel deprived.

Stay tuned....for more exciting things going on.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Has it really been a week?

Hard to believe that it has been a full week since my last workout!  I feel drastically different than I did after last week's WOD.  I have spent the last week trying to eat better for the last week, and I have started taking some all natural supplements to help me with metabolism, focus, etc.

Tonight I went back to workout, and I was so excited/scared to be back in the box.  The classes are growing, which makes it tough because i was a little lost and stuff.  But it all worked out well in the long run.

Warm-UP, 30 seconds each of: Overhead squats w/PVC, Push Press w/Plate, Dead Hang, lunges.

WOD 1:  5 rounds for time
5 Snatches (RX was 75, I did 70 since I couldn't get ahold of a 45# bar)
10 pull-ups

Took me 8:39 to finish (There was a 10 minute cap).   I may have done 6 rounds, I'm not sure.  I lost count somewhere along the way, so I wanted to be sure to get in at least 5, figured it was better to do more than requested, than to cut out early and do less.

Wod 2: Every minute, on the minute, do 3 push-presses.  I used 70# again for the first few rounds, then went up to 80, and the last 4 rounds, I bumped it up to 85.  This was a TOUGH workout for sure!

Then for our strength/skill, we did upper and lower abs.  I have never done these kind of sit-ups and trust me when I tell you, movement at work tomorrow might be funny to watch.  We did 3 sets of 10 sit-ups with the bar.  The first 3 sets were done in a bench press type of motion.  Then we did 2 sets of 10 sit-ups with the bar.  Arms above our heads, locked out at about 45* angle with the floor. Keep arms locked, and don't use them for leverage.  This stuff really HURT!

I asked afterward because when I do get-ups and sit-ups, etc, I have pain in my hip flexors.  I guess this is somewhat normal from using them more than abs due to size and lack of flexibility.  I am still getting and moving much, MUCH better than I have in years.

My exciting moment of the day was when Suzanne said she didn't recognize me at first.  I know the biggest part of that is that I got all my hair cut off, but she also told me how amazing I looked, which was really exciting.  I am starting to see and feel changes in my body, and I can't WAIT for things to really move.


Sunday, January 6, 2013

Has anything really changed?

Has anything about me really changed?  Has my mind really changed?  Is my lifestyle really changing?

Well, tonight I can say that I'm a long way from perfect, but yes, yes it has!  I have always watched The Biggest Loser and wished it was me.  I've lamented not being on "The Ranch", been jealous of the contestants, been pissed off at the ones that quit....all while eating chips, or ice cream, or drinking sweet tea. Tonight when The Biggest Loser came on, I was baking my egg/bacon and cheese "muffins" for breakfast this week.  I had hard-boiled eggs going for snacks for this week.  I have chicken cooked and cut up to eat with my salads for lunch this week.

I have also started taking some new supplements that are all-natural (according to my research thus far) and doing so with a bit of fear.  I've taken supplements before, which left me shaky, with a racing heart and ended up throwing that money away.  Today is only day 2, and I've yet to feel anything different.  I'm making a concerted effort to change.  It is a process.  I will fall.  I will fail.  I will get back up and continue the fight.

I sat here and cried tonight when one of the girls on Jillian's team got on the scale and weighed 258 pounds.  Why did I cry?  Because I weigh 258 pounds.  I am hoping to make a transformation of my own.  Now, I know that the amount of weight that the people on the ranch lose is unhealthy without their help and support, but I'm hoping to make a pretty sizable transformation of my own prior to the finale of BL14.  I won't lose 100# in that time frame, but maybe I can lose 50 of them.  So I'm going on record and saying that my goal is to make the right decisions consistently enough that when the finale for Biggest Loser 14 rolls around, I am under 208#.  I'd really love for it to be under 200#, but I'm not going to push my luck.  By the same token, If I get to 208 in 3 months, I'm not going to lay off because I've reached my goal, I'm going to continue to push myself.

Well, another weekend has come and gone, and  I need to get in bed if I want to be able to get up at 5:00 for a I think the Sleepy Time Tea I drank tonight is officially working.  I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open.


Heart exercise, doing what's right.

Today I am still recovering from the scary news that we got on Friday about my dad's health and what the future likely holds for us.  Sometimes when I get that freaked out, the best thing I can do is do something to take my mind off of my reality.

Some of you may remember that a little over a week ago I asked my Facebook friends to pray for my friends Cassie and Kendra as they had just lost their mom to Cancer on December 12, and on the 26th, her dad suffered a heart attack.  He was in a coma, and never regained consciousness.  Mr. Ford passed away on December 30th.  I can't begin to comprehend what the two of them must be feeling and going through at this difficult time.

Well, Cassie lives about 20-25 minutes from my house.  Cassie has made 3 trips to Ohio since thanksgiving to see her parents, and then attend their funerals.  She attended BOTH her parents funerals in less than 3 weeks.  Can you imagine?  I absolutely can't.

Cassie's kids got a trampoline for Christmas, which hadn't been put together.  And Cassie had spent so much time traveling, packing, and unpacking, that the little things fall through the cracks.  My mom and I talked about how much we HATE coming home from a trip, knowing that we have to clean house, and face a mess.  So, after breaking into Cassie's house with her permission (they don't have a spare key hidden) not only did my dad, husband and Brother-in-law put together the trampoline the kids got from their deceased grandparents for Christmas, me, my mom and my sister spent a couple of hours cleaning, doing dishes, vacuuming, doing some laundry and made some lasagna so that when Cassie and Ben got home today, they could take the day and relax with their kids, enjoy the time as a family and playing on the new trampoline.  This is what my family does.  We see where there is a need, and we try to do as much as possible to help that family in their time of need.  It was such a good feeling to spend the day helping someone who needs it, but would never ask for the help.  We have adopted Cassie and her family, and we love them so.  My heart was so happy when we got home, knowing we had done something that would make someone else's life a bit easier/better.  We don't do stuff like this to get thanks, we do it to help when it's needed.

In the past we have bought Christmas presents for families, delivered meals, bought school clothes, helped folks move, assemble furniture, you name it.  It is so invigorating to help people.  I love it.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Alright 2013.....BRING IT!!!

This first 4 days of 2013 have been less than stellar in the "life and work" departments, but I'm pretty proud of myself in the eating department.  Last night for dinner I did eat Taco Bell, which was BAD, but I had actually missed lunch so calorie wise I didn't blow myself out of the water, but it definitely wasn't as healthy as eating a huge salad with vegetables, chicken or tuna, and a fruit.  Again, looking at the positive side of things, I'm not going to focus on the one mistake I made yesterday, I'm going to focus on the fact that other than that, the last 3 days have been very good for me diet-wise.  I have stuck to a healthy, "clean" diet and had A LOT of water to drink.  Not quite at goal yet (drinking a gallon of water/day is pretty tough) but I'm getting there.  Believe it or not, I've already started to see some results.  After the holidays, I got on the scale Wednesday morning, and I got on the scale.  Reality is reality, and I needed to know where I was starting.  Wednesday morning when I got on the scale it said 264.  This is a mere .2 pounds less than when I started CrossFitting in July, but I knew I was pretty dehydrated, and a good dose of water would probably alleviate some of that, and this morning I was already back down to 258 on the scale.  I DO NOT believe for a single second that I have lost 6 pounds of fat in 3 days.  I figure I have lost some water weight, etc.  I'm going to be working really hard to continue the victories that I am experiencing right now.  Here are a few goals I'm hoping to reach:

1--Barney and I are flying to San Diego 5 weeks from tomorrow.  When I got on the plane to go to Boston, I had to ask for a seat belt extender.  I was only maybe an inch from being able to fasten that seatbelt.  I am desperately hoping that I won't have to ask for one on the flight to San Diego.

2--In 50 days or so I will be running the Princess Half Marathon.  I would really like to lose about 2 pounds/week between now and then which would put me at right around 240 when I start the race, smaller than I have been since I quit breast feeding Ada in 2006.

3--We are going on an Anniversary Cruise on April 28th.  That is 16 weeks from now, and if I continue a healthy weight loss of 2 pounds per week, I would be down to about 220 when we board that cruise ship.  The smallest Barney has ever seen me was about 210 pounds.

As I said earlier when I posted my New Year's Resolutions, I can't focus on the scale, only on the things I can control, like getting in my workouts and what I put in my mouth.  That is what I need to focus on so that the scale will fall in line and do what I want it to.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Need some motivation?

I have been sitting here in tears the last few minutes wondering what the future is going to hold for me and realizing that I don't EVER want my kids to face what I am facing right now.  I just got off the phone with my mom and she said after my dad's follow-up with the neurologist, even though a definitive diagnosis is nearly impossible until autopsy, the professional opinion is that my dad is in the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease.  Now, my dad first went to the doctor a few months ago, the word got kicked around a bit and the official diagnosis used was "Mild Cognitive Impairment".  I hadn't really embraced the reality of this type of diagnosis until the "A word" got thrown out today.  Now, one parent with what isn't a terminal disease, but one that will eventually rob them of the pride, their memories, even the understanding that I am their child is bad enough, but knowing that my mom has MS just ups the anty a bit.  You see, my mom getting stressed out exacerbates her MS and could leave her unable to walk, blind, or any other various atrocity that MS decides to bestow upon her with the next flare up.  So, the reality is, whenever my dad gets to the point that he is unable to understand limitations, he will almost definitely end up in a nursing home or assisted living facility because my mom won't be able to care for him.  My sister and I are in our late 30's facing the reality that in not too terribly long, our father may not even know our names, let alone our kids' names or my mom's name.  The reality of this for me is unbearable. 

So, while I know that Alzheimer's and MS are both things that are not brought on by unhealthy lifestyles, is it really logical to believe that living a clean and healthy lifestyle might not keep them at bay for longer?  I can't in good conscience NOT do something to keep myself as healthy as possible, for my parents' sake, for my kids' sake, and for my sake.  I owe my kids a healthy parent who has done everything possible to delay the likelihood that my children will have to face the news I heard today.  I need to stay healthy for a LONG time, which means I need to get this weight off, I need to exercise regularly.  I need my body to operate as a machine, not a broken down old beater that is ready for the junk yard.  Time to get it done!!!  My kids deserve a healthy mom for MANY years to come. 

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

DNF--and a little inspiration

Tonight's WOD was heavy on cardio, which at 5'2" and 255 pounds, I'm not really in any shape for AT ALL!!  Tonight was incredibly difficult, but I didn't give up, and I didn't leave the box in tears this time.

WOD #1:
10 ab-mat sit-ups, 20 Thrusters (I used 55#), 20 sit-ups, 16 Thrusters, 30 sit-ups, 12 Thrusters (I dropped to 45#), 40 sit ups, 8 Thrusters, 50 sit-ups (I only made it to #29 in the allotted 15 minute timeframe to complete the WOD), then 4 Thrusters.  My heart was racing so fast when I got "done" that I wasn't so certain about my ability to do WOD 2, but knew I had to try.

WOD #2:
8 rounds for time
10 box jumps, 10 kettle bell swings.

Shout out to Guanina Palermo-Pinckney for teaching me the trick of staring at the wall during box jumps and NOT looking at the box.  I always get overwhelmed just looking at the box and my fear gets the best of me. I got through my first 40 box jumps without a thought or a problem thanks to this little piece of advice!

I got through the first 4 rounds doing the jumps and then on #6 of the 4th round of jumps, I turned my ankle pretty bad.  It hurt something fierce!  For rounds 5 and 6 I did step-ups, rather than jumps, but I kept pushing.  There was no way I could finish the last 2 rounds, due to time or my ankle either one.  I didn't leave upset like I did the last time I didn't finish, I left proud.  I am proud of my continued efforts to go into the box and push my limits.  I am proud that I continue, even when it hurts, when my heart is racing and my mind is telling me that I should stop.  I am proud of all that the box is helping me to become, and not just in the sense of finishing workouts and building muscle.

Now for the inspiration part----I had read a post earlier today by one of our CrossFit members, Phillip Mason.  Phillip posted the following on his FB status today:  Today as I sit here I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year!!! I have had the best year of my life this last year I lost 76 POUNDS!! And I'm still going! This is the best shape that I have been in my life and I love it. There comes a point in your life when you say that it's time for a change!! Thank GOD this past year was when I drew a line in the sand and said NO MORE!! I will be a better person, I will forgive those who did me wrong, I will continue to be a better example for all around me who say its time for a change!! I only hope that my achievements will be a light for others who are fed up with where they are at, and they will too make their decisions to change themselves and their lifestyles!! Thanks to ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO HAVE SUPPORTED ME THROUGH THIS JOURNEY!! And also a big thanks to CrossFit APxfor helping become healthy and more physically fit!! 

I found this exciting since I have so much weight that I want to lose, and some very lofty goals for myself.  Just like most obese folks, when we hear of someone who has had this level of success, we ask the same questions.....You know the ones........How did you do it?  How long did it take?  Phillip told me he started really focusing on his weight in April of 2012.  He had made some small changes before that, but April 2012 is when he really started to focus on it.  This was really exciting for me to hear.  Why?  Because I would like to lose 100#.  Now, I'm not focusing on the numbers, but instead focusing on the things I have some control over, my workouts, and what I put into my mouth.  If I control these 2 things, I will see results on the scale in time.

In that vain, Barney was going to the store tonight and I gave him a list of things I needed him to buy me for breakfasts and lunches this week.  He gave me a look of concern because of the number of times I've attempted this, and failed.  The amount of healthy fruits and vegetables that have been purchased and gone bad in the fridge because the bad stuff was far easier and took less time.  I very calmly asked him to please trust me.  I need to make these changes, and I need him to trust me that I will continue this and be eating all of these foods.  I need to have healthy snacks available to eat during the day, so I don't eat things like chips and candy which are so available to me on a regular basis.  I have to be prepared to succeed, or I am planning to fail, basically.  So, I need to wrap up this blog post, go hard boil some eggs, clean and pack some salad for tomorrow, and cut up some carrots and cucumbers for my healthy snacks during the day.  Our Keurig came today, so I'm going to try all the different coffees that came as a sample until I find one that I can drink black, since cream and sugar aren't in the food plan.

Until next time...Krista