The Incredible Shrinking Krista

Monday, January 2, 2017

I'm BACK!!!

Well...it's been nearly 6 months since I have blogged, and quite frankly, this was not surprising to me.  I remember everyone telling me before my weight loss surgery that even once I reached my goal, it would be a daily struggle to stay at my goal weight and keep it off.

In November/December of 2015 we had 3 consecutive family members in the hospital, followed by the death of my beloved Nana.  I had been at 95 pound weight loss from about July of 2014 to December 2015 if memory serves me correctly....and then the hospitalizations, Nana's death, hospital food, fast food...and well, 20 pounds crept back on.  I have a few family members that say they are happy with this weight gain because I was "too thin" for a while, but I couldn't disagree more.  I was drastically smaller than I had been in over 20 years, so I think people aren't really used to smaller me.
Add to all of that the realization that I have a bum knee, with absolutely NO cartilage in my left knee.  The doc says I'm not ready for Knee Replacement but I most certainly will be in the next 10-15 years.  I let the knee pain get the best of me and just threw in the towel there for a while, both physically and mentally.  I was over it...I wanted to just say, "Hell, I'm 41 years old, I'm not getting any younger, and I've run two half marathons...why keep pushing?"

Well, the why is simple...I'm neither happy nor comfortable with where I am.  I understand that other people have opinions, but just like I refused to allow those to make my decisions for me when I was overweight, I never gave people's opinions power over me and my decision making when I was morbidly obese, why should I give them that power now?

So, I have re-dedicated myself to my health and wellness goals.  I got weighed tonight after Boot Camp and weighed 203.6.  I swore I'd never be above 200# again, but here I am.  So, I also got my measurements done this evening, including my body fat percentage, which was at 37%.  The trainer said his goal would be for me to be below 30%, but I'd still like to be around 25%.

My health goals are pretty straight-forward:

155-160 pounds (I have between 43 and 48 pounds to lose to get there)
25% body fat

My workout goals:
Work out at Burn Boot Camp 4-5 times/week
Run 3 days/week

My food goals:
eat clean 80% of the time
Cut out sweet tea
cut out fast food

I'd like to ring in 2018 feeling like I achieved all aspects of health and wellness.  I don't have to reach the number goals, per se.  Will I feel like I failed if at the end of 2017 I weigh 165 pounds, absolutely not!  I will have made a great deal of progress.

I've said all along this was a journey--there is no end point, except health and wellness...in whatever form that shows up.  But I gave up last year, and I won't be doing that anymore!  I have this body, and have worked for it.  I'm going to continue working as long as my body will allow me to.  At whatever point that my knee does give out and requires knee-replacement I'll slow down as much as I have to to maintain the health of that knee...but in the meantime, IT'S ON!!


Sunday, July 10, 2016

July 10 update

Well, this week has gone better than I expected in a lot of ways.

I spent the first few days on nothing but liquids.  I've basically eaten 1 solid meal/day since Thursday, slowly getting back to being able to eat "normal" foods.

As of this morning, I'm down to 195.2.  That is almost 5# since I was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday, June 28.  I'm good with that...5 pounds in just under 2 weeks.

I'm back on the "right" side of 200 pounds, now to continue the downward progress of the scale.

I'm going to start walking this week, and next week, after my post-op check-up, as long as I'm released, I'm going to begin working the 21-Day Fix.  I've had it for a few months, but haven't actually done it yet.  We had to suspend our gym membership for the summer, since I'm not working, so I have to work out at home.

Thanks for checking in with me.

Krista

Monday, July 4, 2016

What's that old saying???

I think it goes something like, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions..."  Well, I have been living that very reality this last week.

When we were at Disney a couple weeks a go I started to noticed I couldn't eat much, I was throwing more and more food away because as hungry as I was, it was just uncomfortable to eat.  It just kept getting worse.

On Saturday, June 25, we were at the zoo with Barney's family, and I broke out in a cold sweat, thought I might pass out and was in horrible pain.  Things just kept getting worse.  By last Monday night, I was in so much pain after about 1/3 of a chicken breast and a few green beans that I stayed up hoping it would "settle" until almost 2am.  I felt like it was stuck somehow.  I woke up Tuesday morning in even more pain, like someone had shoved their fist through me.  I could feel the "knot" from front to back.  It hurt to drink, eating wasn't even the tiniest option because of the pain.

I had a job interview, which I went to, then came home and called my surgeon's office from my weight loss surgery nearly 3 years ago.  They made an appointment for me for Wednesday at 3:45 the following day and told me to go to the ER immediately if the pain became unbearable.  By about 7:00, having had about 20 oz of fluids, and not a bite to eat, I knew I was in the danger zone for dehydration and I needed to go to the ER.

I did.  They checked me for blood clots in my lungs, which they told me I didn't have, then the next thing I knew, I was being admitted, for what I had no idea.  As they were rolling me to my room they informed me I was going to ICU, the only bed in the entire hospital that was available.  We won't discuss the complete panic I went into when they were wheeling me closer and closer to the room my Nana passed away in in December.  The ICU nurse kindly read the radiology report to me from the CT scan they had done and it said I had a "small herniation along the suture line from my sleeve".  She didn't try to interpret that, and said she had no information about sleeve gastrectomy, so she didn't feel like she could speak intelligently.

Wednesday rolled around and the PA from my surgeon's practice came in to see me.  She explained that I did have a hernia.  She suspected that they would do an Upper GI and then, if that confirmed the Hiatal Hernia, she would expect an EGD (scope down my throat to look for ulcerations), done in the OR to be able to immediately fix the hernia and any ulcerations that they found.  I was taken for an Upper GI that afternoon, with a Radiologist that, to put it bluntly, was an arrogant ass.  I got moved out of ICU and into a regular room that day as well, which was nice.  I felt like the ICU nurses had so many better things to do than to take care of me.

Thursday comes around, and again, the PA comes in.  She explained that the doctor wasn't going to do surgery at this time.  His plan was to get me to the point that I could tolerate fluids and get me home, then bring me back in to do the hiatal hernia repair as an elective outpatient procedure.  I sat there and cried, for literally over an hour.  I felt like I was abandoned.  Here I was, sick, in order to eat jello, I had to ask for pain medication (morphine) to be able to eat it and not cry.  How could he possibly think that was a logical answer, especially without having been in to see me?

I had decided that enough was enough, and that I wanted to see a surgeon.  PERIOD!  I asked the nurse to call the doctor's on-call # and let them know that I wanted to see a surgeon on Friday.  My doctor came in about 8:30 or so and gave me a million reasons why he wanted to send me home.  I explained why I thought that was crazy.  I have a job to be healed for.  I have job interviews to be recovered for.  I have a family.  I have 3 kids to take care of, and by the way, the financial implications of a 2nd admission and doing the surgery just weren't viable for us.....and prolonging this pain and illness just WASN'T an option.  He agreed to do the surgery on Friday evening, around 8:30.  He was reluctant, said I wasn't in enough pain, that he would rather reserve that slot for someone sitting on the side of the bed wretching in pain.  Well, I stood my ground and he agreed.  The CRNA came in around 9:00 to do the whole pre-anesthesia thing...just before 11:00 on Friday morning, the nurse came almost running into my room all in a rush, they were coming to get me right then for surgery.  The anesthesiologist that came up behind her said that the surgery schedule was so light they were only running 3 of the 9 ORs.

All things considered this has been one crazy week.  I got home Saturday evening from the hospital and am still dealing with the air they had pumped up into my stomach for my surgery, all the gas is painful to absorb and get rid of.  I haven't had pain medication since Saturday night of any kind, which is good (to be honest, that stuff really scares me).  I ate solid food tonight for the first time in a week.

This is another speed bump/delay in my goal of getting back down to my weight before my Nana passed, but it's a goal worth working for and achieving no matter how long it takes.

Thank you to all my friends and family who checked on me over the last week and said prayers.  I am on the mend, and will slowly, but surely get back to full form.  I have a follow-up with my surgeon next week which I need to schedule tomorrow....in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy some time with my babies, relaxing and hugging them.  The older 2 are headed to camp next week, so I think a relaxing week is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Krista

P.S.  For anyone who may be wondering, I did get on the scale today...197.6, so a bit more weight lost, which should happen considering I've been on a liquid diet for a week.  I just need to be smart as I re-introduce things to my diet that I make good choices.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Weekly Update

So, I have noticed this week that the focus on my weight is taking me back down a slippery path where I end up obsessing over the # on the scale, rather than making healthy decisions.

So I refuse to focus on the # on the scale.  I did weigh myself this morning, and I'm at 198.6, which makes me super happy, but more impressively, I've had 1 single glass of sweet tea this week at lunch, and 1 coffee from Dunkin Donuts.  (this is down from Coffee purchased out every day, and at least 2-3 sweet teas every day, usually from Bojangles.)

So, I'm looking at those wins, and focusing on those steps in the right direction.  Yes, I'm losing weight as well, but I don't want to focus on that, because then I get a bit overwhelmed and obsessed and it stresses me out.

Thank you for continuing to support me.  Now that I really feel like I've got the coffee and tea under control, it's time to step up my exercise game.

Krista

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Post-Disney Update

So, I said I was going to be working on changing my eating habits and getting my weight back down.  The plan was to start after the trip to Disney because we had the dining plan, and I didn't know what kind of food would be available.

I was super excited to get on the Scale on Sunday morning and see that my weight had gone from 202 point something to 200.6.  So, somehow I lost about a pound-and-a-half at Disney; likely because I about sweated to death!

So now I'm working on being far more mindful of what I eat and drink.  Making changes a little bit at a time.  I started by getting Crystal Light Peach Tea, to replace my sweet tea addiction.  Crystal Light was recommended by my weight loss surgeon if you needed to get your water in, but didn't like the taste of water.  Once I get over the hump with the tea, I'll work on cutting back the coffee, too.


Saturday, June 11, 2016

Week 1 update

I posted last week about gaining weight and being back up above 200 pounds for the first time in about 2 years. J was devastated when I saw that 2 as the first number on the scale again, but if I'm being honest, not surprised. I've been tempting fate for a while, allowing myself to fall into old habits and not being nearly as careful or mindful as I should be about what I put into my body.

I am happy to report that a bit under a week later, I got on the scale this morning and I was down 1.5# to 200.8. The scale is moving in the right direction for now.   I'm not sure what will happen this week with being on vacation and eating park food. On the positive side, though, we'll likely walk about 8-10 miles each day in the parks, so that should help, too

Thank you for the positive support you all offered me, either publicly or privately over the last week or so. It means more than you know.

Krista

Sunday, June 5, 2016

This post sucks....

This post is going to be the hardest post that I have posted, maybe ever.  As I have shared over the years, very clearly, I needed help to lose weight.  I needed to have weight loss surgery to take control of my life back and get myself to a healthy weight.

Fast forward 2 years, to the fall of 2015.  I had been sitting at between 175 & 179 since July 2014 and had gone into to "coast" mode.  In September 2015, I injured my knee and was no longer able to run, squat, or do much of anything I had grown accustomed to doing as I was losing weight.  I was in the process of getting to the bottom of this issue and speaking to the doctor about the options to correct the pain in my knee, when both sides of my family ran into health crises.  

My father-in-law ended up with a pacemaker, and my Nana passed away, and in between the two, my dad was in the hospital as well.  Trips and stays in the hospital aren't good for anyone's stress level or diet, and I started to allow myself to fall back into old habits.  

I have now had 3 Synvisc injections in my knee and am still in pain, all day, every day.  I have no cartilage in my left knee at all, so the hope was that these injections would do the job that the cartilage should be doing, but it appears not to be the case for me.  I wake up in pain every day, it hurts for me to sit for too long, or to stand/walk for too long.  

The point of all this rambling, for lack of a better word, is to explain that life has gotten in the way.  I said when I chose to have weight loss surgery that it was nothing more than a tool, and one that I had to use or it wouldn't work.  I haven't been using my tool.  I've been in cruise control, heading down the highway to my old self and bad habits.  

I got on the scale yesterday morning, and to my horror, 202.00 was staring back at me.  I swore I'd never breech the 200 mark again, but alas, I have.  It's time for me to get my act back in gear.  We are finishing up the school year and preparing for our family vacation to Disney.  I was super excited and bought some new clothes for the trip, only to find that the size I've been wearing for over a year and a half is too small.  My size 14's aren't fitting me anymore.  Well, I'm not OK with that, and I'm not going to just accept it.  

So I'm going to be spending my summer getting back to the things that I know how to do to get my weight back under control.  I'm going to be drinking protein shakes, getting in my protein from meet, eating more vegetables and fruit, no sweet tea.  I've got to re-gain control of my eating and my lifestyle, before I end up back at the 270 pounds I weighed when I started this journey.  

I'm only going to weigh myself once/week (On Sunday mornings) to avoid my scale obsession and frustration.  I hope you'll encourage and support me as I continue to share this journey with you all.  

Krista