July 10 update

Well, this week has gone better than I expected in a lot of ways.

I spent the first few days on nothing but liquids.  I've basically eaten 1 solid meal/day since Thursday, slowly getting back to being able to eat "normal" foods.

As of this morning, I'm down to 195.2.  That is almost 5# since I was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday, June 28.  I'm good with that...5 pounds in just under 2 weeks.

I'm back on the "right" side of 200 pounds, now to continue the downward progress of the scale.

I'm going to start walking this week, and next week, after my post-op check-up, as long as I'm released, I'm going to begin working the 21-Day Fix.  I've had it for a few months, but haven't actually done it yet.  We had to suspend our gym membership for the summer, since I'm not working, so I have to work out at home.

Thanks for checking in with me.

Krista

What's that old saying???

I think it goes something like, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions..."  Well, I have been living that very reality this last week.

When we were at Disney a couple weeks a go I started to noticed I couldn't eat much, I was throwing more and more food away because as hungry as I was, it was just uncomfortable to eat.  It just kept getting worse.

On Saturday, June 25, we were at the zoo with Barney's family, and I broke out in a cold sweat, thought I might pass out and was in horrible pain.  Things just kept getting worse.  By last Monday night, I was in so much pain after about 1/3 of a chicken breast and a few green beans that I stayed up hoping it would "settle" until almost 2am.  I felt like it was stuck somehow.  I woke up Tuesday morning in even more pain, like someone had shoved their fist through me.  I could feel the "knot" from front to back.  It hurt to drink, eating wasn't even the tiniest option because of the pain.

I had a job interview, which I went to, then came home and called my surgeon's office from my weight loss surgery nearly 3 years ago.  They made an appointment for me for Wednesday at 3:45 the following day and told me to go to the ER immediately if the pain became unbearable.  By about 7:00, having had about 20 oz of fluids, and not a bite to eat, I knew I was in the danger zone for dehydration and I needed to go to the ER.

I did.  They checked me for blood clots in my lungs, which they told me I didn't have, then the next thing I knew, I was being admitted, for what I had no idea.  As they were rolling me to my room they informed me I was going to ICU, the only bed in the entire hospital that was available.  We won't discuss the complete panic I went into when they were wheeling me closer and closer to the room my Nana passed away in in December.  The ICU nurse kindly read the radiology report to me from the CT scan they had done and it said I had a "small herniation along the suture line from my sleeve".  She didn't try to interpret that, and said she had no information about sleeve gastrectomy, so she didn't feel like she could speak intelligently.

Wednesday rolled around and the PA from my surgeon's practice came in to see me.  She explained that I did have a hernia.  She suspected that they would do an Upper GI and then, if that confirmed the Hiatal Hernia, she would expect an EGD (scope down my throat to look for ulcerations), done in the OR to be able to immediately fix the hernia and any ulcerations that they found.  I was taken for an Upper GI that afternoon, with a Radiologist that, to put it bluntly, was an arrogant ass.  I got moved out of ICU and into a regular room that day as well, which was nice.  I felt like the ICU nurses had so many better things to do than to take care of me.

Thursday comes around, and again, the PA comes in.  She explained that the doctor wasn't going to do surgery at this time.  His plan was to get me to the point that I could tolerate fluids and get me home, then bring me back in to do the hiatal hernia repair as an elective outpatient procedure.  I sat there and cried, for literally over an hour.  I felt like I was abandoned.  Here I was, sick, in order to eat jello, I had to ask for pain medication (morphine) to be able to eat it and not cry.  How could he possibly think that was a logical answer, especially without having been in to see me?

I had decided that enough was enough, and that I wanted to see a surgeon.  PERIOD!  I asked the nurse to call the doctor's on-call # and let them know that I wanted to see a surgeon on Friday.  My doctor came in about 8:30 or so and gave me a million reasons why he wanted to send me home.  I explained why I thought that was crazy.  I have a job to be healed for.  I have job interviews to be recovered for.  I have a family.  I have 3 kids to take care of, and by the way, the financial implications of a 2nd admission and doing the surgery just weren't viable for us.....and prolonging this pain and illness just WASN'T an option.  He agreed to do the surgery on Friday evening, around 8:30.  He was reluctant, said I wasn't in enough pain, that he would rather reserve that slot for someone sitting on the side of the bed wretching in pain.  Well, I stood my ground and he agreed.  The CRNA came in around 9:00 to do the whole pre-anesthesia thing...just before 11:00 on Friday morning, the nurse came almost running into my room all in a rush, they were coming to get me right then for surgery.  The anesthesiologist that came up behind her said that the surgery schedule was so light they were only running 3 of the 9 ORs.

All things considered this has been one crazy week.  I got home Saturday evening from the hospital and am still dealing with the air they had pumped up into my stomach for my surgery, all the gas is painful to absorb and get rid of.  I haven't had pain medication since Saturday night of any kind, which is good (to be honest, that stuff really scares me).  I ate solid food tonight for the first time in a week.

This is another speed bump/delay in my goal of getting back down to my weight before my Nana passed, but it's a goal worth working for and achieving no matter how long it takes.

Thank you to all my friends and family who checked on me over the last week and said prayers.  I am on the mend, and will slowly, but surely get back to full form.  I have a follow-up with my surgeon next week which I need to schedule tomorrow....in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy some time with my babies, relaxing and hugging them.  The older 2 are headed to camp next week, so I think a relaxing week is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Krista

P.S.  For anyone who may be wondering, I did get on the scale today...197.6, so a bit more weight lost, which should happen considering I've been on a liquid diet for a week.  I just need to be smart as I re-introduce things to my diet that I make good choices.

Weekly Update

So, I have noticed this week that the focus on my weight is taking me back down a slippery path where I end up obsessing over the # on the scale, rather than making healthy decisions.

So I refuse to focus on the # on the scale.  I did weigh myself this morning, and I'm at 198.6, which makes me super happy, but more impressively, I've had 1 single glass of sweet tea this week at lunch, and 1 coffee from Dunkin Donuts.  (this is down from Coffee purchased out every day, and at least 2-3 sweet teas every day, usually from Bojangles.)

So, I'm looking at those wins, and focusing on those steps in the right direction.  Yes, I'm losing weight as well, but I don't want to focus on that, because then I get a bit overwhelmed and obsessed and it stresses me out.

Thank you for continuing to support me.  Now that I really feel like I've got the coffee and tea under control, it's time to step up my exercise game.

Krista

Post-Disney Update

So, I said I was going to be working on changing my eating habits and getting my weight back down.  The plan was to start after the trip to Disney because we had the dining plan, and I didn't know what kind of food would be available.

I was super excited to get on the Scale on Sunday morning and see that my weight had gone from 202 point something to 200.6.  So, somehow I lost about a pound-and-a-half at Disney; likely because I about sweated to death!

So now I'm working on being far more mindful of what I eat and drink.  Making changes a little bit at a time.  I started by getting Crystal Light Peach Tea, to replace my sweet tea addiction.  Crystal Light was recommended by my weight loss surgeon if you needed to get your water in, but didn't like the taste of water.  Once I get over the hump with the tea, I'll work on cutting back the coffee, too.

Week 1 update

I posted last week about gaining weight and being back up above 200 pounds for the first time in about 2 years. J was devastated when I saw that 2 as the first number on the scale again, but if I'm being honest, not surprised. I've been tempting fate for a while, allowing myself to fall into old habits and not being nearly as careful or mindful as I should be about what I put into my body.

I am happy to report that a bit under a week later, I got on the scale this morning and I was down 1.5# to 200.8. The scale is moving in the right direction for now.   I'm not sure what will happen this week with being on vacation and eating park food. On the positive side, though, we'll likely walk about 8-10 miles each day in the parks, so that should help, too

Thank you for the positive support you all offered me, either publicly or privately over the last week or so. It means more than you know.

Krista

This post sucks....

This post is going to be the hardest post that I have posted, maybe ever.  As I have shared over the years, very clearly, I needed help to lose weight.  I needed to have weight loss surgery to take control of my life back and get myself to a healthy weight.

Fast forward 2 years, to the fall of 2015.  I had been sitting at between 175 & 179 since July 2014 and had gone into to "coast" mode.  In September 2015, I injured my knee and was no longer able to run, squat, or do much of anything I had grown accustomed to doing as I was losing weight.  I was in the process of getting to the bottom of this issue and speaking to the doctor about the options to correct the pain in my knee, when both sides of my family ran into health crises.  

My father-in-law ended up with a pacemaker, and my Nana passed away, and in between the two, my dad was in the hospital as well.  Trips and stays in the hospital aren't good for anyone's stress level or diet, and I started to allow myself to fall back into old habits.  

I have now had 3 Synvisc injections in my knee and am still in pain, all day, every day.  I have no cartilage in my left knee at all, so the hope was that these injections would do the job that the cartilage should be doing, but it appears not to be the case for me.  I wake up in pain every day, it hurts for me to sit for too long, or to stand/walk for too long.  

The point of all this rambling, for lack of a better word, is to explain that life has gotten in the way.  I said when I chose to have weight loss surgery that it was nothing more than a tool, and one that I had to use or it wouldn't work.  I haven't been using my tool.  I've been in cruise control, heading down the highway to my old self and bad habits.  

I got on the scale yesterday morning, and to my horror, 202.00 was staring back at me.  I swore I'd never breech the 200 mark again, but alas, I have.  It's time for me to get my act back in gear.  We are finishing up the school year and preparing for our family vacation to Disney.  I was super excited and bought some new clothes for the trip, only to find that the size I've been wearing for over a year and a half is too small.  My size 14's aren't fitting me anymore.  Well, I'm not OK with that, and I'm not going to just accept it.  

So I'm going to be spending my summer getting back to the things that I know how to do to get my weight back under control.  I'm going to be drinking protein shakes, getting in my protein from meet, eating more vegetables and fruit, no sweet tea.  I've got to re-gain control of my eating and my lifestyle, before I end up back at the 270 pounds I weighed when I started this journey.  

I'm only going to weigh myself once/week (On Sunday mornings) to avoid my scale obsession and frustration.  I hope you'll encourage and support me as I continue to share this journey with you all.  

Krista

Fight Gone Bad

Today's WOD was "fight gone bad"....and truer words were never spoken!

This workout was awful.  I had worked out last night (monday at 7:00).  The less than 12 hour turn around didn't help the situation.

To make matters worse, the WOD was brutal, called "Fight Gone Bad".  The description of the WOD can be found here. 

I showed up for my first 5:30am WOD and honestly, woke up in pain and almost bailed on it.  Tired of bailing on workouts, and on myself, I went anyway.

I got ready, and when our coach, Josh told us to get started...I decided I was ready to go.  It's

So the WOD goes like this, 5 minutes of work, 1 minute of rest, and a different exercise every minute on the minute:

Minute 1--wall balls (10# ball for me)
Minute 2--box jumps (I have to step-up due to my knee issues, using a 20" box)
Minute 3--Sumo Deadlift High Pulls (25 # KB)
Minute 4--Push Press (I had 55# the first round, dropped to 35# for rounds 2 & 3)
Minute 5--Row for calories

Rest 1 minutes---do a total of 3 rounds,

In my first round I got 69 reps
Round 2--61 reps
Round 3--30 reps

Between last night's workout and todays, everything from my shoulders to my bra strap, plus my left knee and my quads are KILLING me!

No workout tomorrow.  Tomorrow's WOD includes Overhead squats, and pull-ups, 21-15-9.

My first round of knee injections is tomorrow, and i'm so sore already from the last 2 days.  Maybe after my injection----I can get in the water at the gym and get a workout in that doesn't hurt my knee as much....who knows!!!

Krista

Back at it!

I've got some pretty big goals this year....and in order to complete them, I've gotta get my booty back in the gym.

I registered for the 2016 CrossFit Games, but then wasn't able to complete all 5 workouts due to travel and a nagging knee injury.

I'm going to be getting Orthovisc injections in my knee starting this week, on April 6, 13 and 27.  In the meantime, I'm going to be adding some workouts, some swimming and cycling workouts to the mix when I can't do impact exercises.

I'm also participating in a Diet Bet with the folks who had weight loss surgery the same time I did.  We are all 2-1/2 years out of surgery, and a lot of us have gained at least a little bit of weight back.  The battle against obesity is never over.....it's something we HAVE to fight and be aware of every sing day, every single meal....

Also, I need to STOP making excuses.  I missed my planned workout this morning at 5:30, because while my alarm was set, it was turned all the way down.  So many times (every single other time in my life) I would have written off today as being one without the workout.  Instead, today, I realized that I would be done coaching volleyball by 6;45, and there was a 7:00 WOD....so, I got dressed for my workout, put my coach shirt on over it, and headed straight to the box after my game was over.

Tonight's workout was do-able, but I'm sure I'll know it tomorrow morning!

I had to scale the WOD for sure...so mine was:
10 minute AMRAP:

200 meter run
15 Kettlebell swings (scaled to 20#)
10 ring dips (Scaled to "girlie" push-ups)

I finished 2 full rounds, plus got about 3/4 of the way through the 4th run...It was rough!!!  I'm ready to go back tomorrow!!

My week in review...

So, I didn't make it to the gym as much as I wanted to.  I was home with a sick child with Strep Throat and a fever for 3 straight days.  She was so sick, that I let her stay at home while I ran the other 2 to school.  She said it hurt to lift her head up off the pillow.

I did, however, make it to CrossFit F-V yesterday to get in my CrossFit Games 16.1 workout.  I have to say, that with no cartilage in my left knee, walking lunges are a NIGHTMARE!!!  Also, as my first full WOD in over 2 years, it was brutal.  My knee, Quads and Glutes are SCREAMING at me today, and my arms and shoulders are whining fairly loudly.  I'll be back this week, to get more workouts in....and next weekend for 16.2.

I've done a lot of changing since I started this blog, and I've actually started to find the woman I always hoped I would be.  I wanted to love myself enough to do my makeup before I left the house.  Not because I needed to attract some guy (the reason I USED to wear makeup) but because I enjoyed looking nice.

Me wearing makeup is not a sign of my insecurity, it's actually because I've found the woman I was always meant to be.  I enjoy being a girl, just as much as I enjoy lifting heavy weights and sweating it out at the gym.  I know that I am a walking contradiction.  I love sports, watching UFC and love college football.  I remember watching the Tyson-Spinks fight with my uncle when I was in middle school.  I also like dressing up, looking cute, and all that that being a girly girl means.  I run in skirts, and I want my sports bra to match my outfit.  I'm proud of the fact that I can currently dead lift 165# and that I was once able to dead lift 225#.

I used to think that lifting weights, going to CrossFit, etc, made me less of a woman.  That people would view me as a tomboy.  Fact is, I am ME!  and I like the me that I am.  I like that I can talk about sports with my husband.  I like that I can work my butt off in the gym, then come home, take a shower and put on a dress.  We don't have to fit into a box that someone has decided makes us "girly" or a "Tomboy".  We can do what we love and define who we are as WE want to.

So, this is me.  I'm a CrossFitter, I'm a Younique Presenter, I love Makeup, I love sports, and I love Jewelry.  I can be all these things, without apology, because that is who I am....and I'm never going to apologize for being ME!

Be who you are, Love who you are, Accept who you are.  If you can't, then no one else will either.

Krista

Back to the GYM!!

Tomorrow is the day!

I was traveling last week, and I've gained a bit more weight.

I'm up 21 pounds from my lowest since I had my surgery....and 18 pounds from what I weighed consistently for 18 months, until my Nana passed.

So--Here's my goal:

Monday, Wednesday and Friday I will be at Club Worx for a WOD and some cardio work.
Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I will be run/walking.

Depending on how my run/walks go on Tuesday and Thursday, I MAY go to CrossFit on those days as well.

Next weekend, the CrossFit Games Open begins, and I am registered.

I've got work to do....and it ain't gonna happen sitting in my house.

Time to get shit done!

As of today, 193.8
Goal around 150

Let's get it done!

krista

5 year blog-iversary

5 years ago, I started this blog, as a form of accountability for myself on my weightloss journey.  Read my original post here.

In that 5 years, my life has changed dramatically!

I have become a triathlete.

I have attempted 8 half marathons, and finished 2.

I have competed in a CrossFit competition.

I have had Gastric Sleeve surgery, which has helped me lose 95#.

I have started to gain some of that weight back, and am back up to 190#  (Still down 80#)

I've auditioned twice for The Biggest Loser, twice.

I have been brutally honest about my mental state, and how it feels to be me.

I have learned SO much about who I am as a woman, a wife, and a mother.

I have grown personally, and shrunk physically.

I have shared my journey, and a lot of you have been here since day 1.

I have been supported by my family every step of the way.  My amazing husband has held my hand while I cried and encouraged me every step of the way.  My kids have graciously forgotten what I looked like at my heaviest and swear that the pictures that I have of me "then" can't possibly be me.

My life has changed in more ways that I would have even thought possible.  I have had the help and encouragement of some amazing people along the way--Andrea Logan, Rachael Brown, Amy Smith, Jennifer VanAlstine, Michelle Bordeaux, Cassandra Reyes, Michele, Sarah and Sarah have all been amazing and supportive throughout this process.

I've been inspired by Cambrey Fuller, Jen Widerstrom, Dolvett Quince, Bob Harper, Chris and Heidi Powell.  Watching people take control and transform their lives  has inspired me, even at my worst to never give up.  Why do I still watch, The Biggest Loser, Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition and My 600 Pound Life?  Those people inspire me endlessly.  They have allowed cameras to follow their journey in a very public way.  They have put themselves "out there" in a way far more public than I have with my measly little blog.

What's up next?  I'm back to Cross-Fit.  I finished my foundations class on Thursday, and will be getting back to the box to get my booty working out again.  When my Nana entered the hospital in December, she told me she was concerned about me, because it looked like I was gaining weight again.  I had only gained back 3 or 4 pounds at that point, but now, I'm up a total of 18 from my lowest weight since my WLS.  It's time to get it back, get the scale moving in the right direction again.  I have 2 goals with CrossFit and the remainder of my Weight Loss/Life journey.  I'd really like to be fit enough to no longer require Spanx.  In all, if I had to pick a number, I'd like to lose about another 40# from where I am today, which is 190#.

The awesome running support group that I love so much--From Left to right, Jennifer, Stacey, Julie and Rachael.  (The dude is the tattoo artist that did all of our tattoos this past July)

My awesome friend Rachael.  She inspires me, and keeps me going.  I love her for how amazing she is.  

Truth be told---when I lay down and the extra skin falls to the side, rather than standing up--things look a whole lot better.

Anniversary dinner with my hubby 

Me, Jennifer and Michelle--2 of my favorite people!

The morning of my Weight Loss Surgery

The morning of my Weight Loss Surgery

Me, My Sister and Denise Carter.  One of the most badass women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Me and Ali Vincent--the first female winner of The Biggest Loser.  She is so amazing and genuine.  

This is what I looked like after completing 4 WODs in one day at my one and only CrossFit Competition.  I think I want to go back to this same Competition in 2017 to see how different if feels at a much healthier weight.  The girls from my box were AMAZING and supportive.  One of them even submitted me to Women of CrossFit.  I was honored to work out with and know these ladies!

When all else fails, and you don't want to---you scrunch up your face and pull as hard as you can to make sure you don't get no-repped.

My original CrossFit coaches, Tyler and Andrea.  I'm so glad that Andrea kept asking me "When will you let me help you?"  If she hadn't persisted, I would never have tried, and fallen in love with CrossFit.  

I became a Triathlete

Finished my 1st Half Marathon.  3:25:23.  Almost 4 minutes ahead of the cut-off time.  So proud.  I cried for the last half mile.

I got to meet Running Royalty.  That's Meb Keflezighi, winner of the 2014 Boston Marathon

My awesome family--though it's a few years old.  I LOVE my husband and kids.  

Immediately after surgery.  The bruises are from my incision sites.

This past spring.  I bought this bikini to wear to the beach for Mother's Day weekend.  It ain't perfect, but it's a damn site better than where I started.  

This was just after finishing my 2nd half marathon.  It was July, in Chicago and was BRUTALLY hot.  It was about 90* and super humid.  People were dropping like flies all over the 2nd half of the course. There were med tents with kiddie pools full of ice and water, soaking those wash clothes I'm holding/wearing in my picture.  This was the hardest race EVER, so proud I could finish it.