The Incredible Shrinking Krista

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Health Scares and life changes...

Good morning, strangers!

I haven't been around much, and posting on my blog, to put it bluntly, I got comfortable, and a bit lazy with my health.  I injured my knee a year and a half ago and I haven't been able to run since then.  I tried to go back to cross-fitting, which I LOVE, but a knee with zero cartilage is just NOT conducive to squatting, with or without weight.

Right after that injury to my knee, our family suffered some serious health issues.  My father-in-law had a pacemaker put in, immediately after returning from helping them, my father was admitted to the hospital.  2 or 3 days after my father was discharged from the hospital, my Nana was admitted and subsequently passed away.  With all that travel, time in hospitals, eating out, and travelling for my Nana's funeral, I gained back 20 of the 98 pounds I had lost (and kept off for 18 months).  Over the last 15 or 16 months, I've gained an additional 12 pounds due to basically getting "comfortable" and not having a way to workout that I loved or quite frankly, was even comfortable with.  I've also allowed myself to go back to some of my bad eating (and drinking) habits.  No, i don't often, if ever, drink alcohol, but I'm addicted to coffee and sweet tea like some are addicted to stronger drinks.

All of this has contributed to me getting back above 200 pounds for the first time in over 2 years.  While I'd like to cry about this revelation, it is my own fault, and not something I can blame on anyone or anything but myself.

Well, a few weeks I got myself a MAJOR wake-up call that has made me take an honest look at my decisions and take inventory of what I'm doing in my day-to-day life.  It's been just over 3 weeks (I think), maybe 4(?) that I was working before school care and out of nowhere, I had a horrible pain in my chest.  Then the pain was in my shoulder, I thought I would throw up, or pass out, or maybe both.  My hands started to sweat really badly, I told the lady I was working with that I was having chest pain and as SHOULD happen, they called 911.  I spent Monday and Tuesday in the hospital being checked for all manner of heart issues and blood clots.  Then I ended up in the ER again on Saturday with a blood clot that went from my wrist to my elbow.  The only test left to be completed was a stress test.  I completed that on Monday of this week and was told that my heart was healthy.

I was also given stern lectures by the ER doc and the cardiologist that I needed to get back to exercising.  I need to find a low-impact exercise (for my knee) that I can enjoy and get my heart rate up and increase my cardiovascular health.  I need to do this and fix my eating habits so that I'm putting healthier food into my body.  All of this is going on around the same time that my 10yo daughter is struggling with her weight as well.  My husband had some bloodwork done.  My Husband's blood pressure is a bit on the high side,  His last few sets of blood work have shown high cholesterol and triglycerides. Everyone in our family is in need of a much healthier diet.

What's interesting in all of this is that just recently I've really come to accept my body as it is.  For the first time in my adult life I'm not disgusted with myself when I look in a mirror.  I don't feel like a failure or like something has gone horribly wrong in my life making me a failure.  So while I know that losing weight will likely be a product of my healthier diet and exercise, it's not my goal.  My primary focus and goal is my health.  I'm looking at this as an honest-to-goodness lifestyle change.  I don't EVER want to experience the fear, pain or anxiety that I did that morning at school.  If that wasn't a heart attack, which they tell me it wasn't, I don't want to know what one feels like.  Yikes.

I'm going to go back to blogging on a regular basis, because it keeps me accountable.  While I have no weight loss goals, I'll still be keeping track of my weight, and measurements, to be sure I have a way to track progress.  I'm going to go back to food logging on My Fitness Pal, and I'll be wearing my FitBit every day as well.  If you are on either platform, and would like to follow and help support me I'd appreciate any help and support.  I know for sure that when I started this weight loss journey in earnest years ago, I know I was told repeatedly that it would be a life-long battle.  If there was anything in my entire life that I had hoped would be wrong, that little tidbit I hoped would be wrong.  It appears that nothing was ever truer, and this crazy journey to health and fitness is one that I will struggle with for the long-haul!

I appreciate everyone's love and support over the years.

Krista


Monday, January 2, 2017

I'm BACK!!!

Well...it's been nearly 6 months since I have blogged, and quite frankly, this was not surprising to me.  I remember everyone telling me before my weight loss surgery that even once I reached my goal, it would be a daily struggle to stay at my goal weight and keep it off.

In November/December of 2015 we had 3 consecutive family members in the hospital, followed by the death of my beloved Nana.  I had been at 95 pound weight loss from about July of 2014 to December 2015 if memory serves me correctly....and then the hospitalizations, Nana's death, hospital food, fast food...and well, 20 pounds crept back on.  I have a few family members that say they are happy with this weight gain because I was "too thin" for a while, but I couldn't disagree more.  I was drastically smaller than I had been in over 20 years, so I think people aren't really used to smaller me.
Add to all of that the realization that I have a bum knee, with absolutely NO cartilage in my left knee.  The doc says I'm not ready for Knee Replacement but I most certainly will be in the next 10-15 years.  I let the knee pain get the best of me and just threw in the towel there for a while, both physically and mentally.  I was over it...I wanted to just say, "Hell, I'm 41 years old, I'm not getting any younger, and I've run two half marathons...why keep pushing?"

Well, the why is simple...I'm neither happy nor comfortable with where I am.  I understand that other people have opinions, but just like I refused to allow those to make my decisions for me when I was overweight, I never gave people's opinions power over me and my decision making when I was morbidly obese, why should I give them that power now?

So, I have re-dedicated myself to my health and wellness goals.  I got weighed tonight after Boot Camp and weighed 203.6.  I swore I'd never be above 200# again, but here I am.  So, I also got my measurements done this evening, including my body fat percentage, which was at 37%.  The trainer said his goal would be for me to be below 30%, but I'd still like to be around 25%.

My health goals are pretty straight-forward:

155-160 pounds (I have between 43 and 48 pounds to lose to get there)
25% body fat

My workout goals:
Work out at Burn Boot Camp 4-5 times/week
Run 3 days/week

My food goals:
eat clean 80% of the time
Cut out sweet tea
cut out fast food

I'd like to ring in 2018 feeling like I achieved all aspects of health and wellness.  I don't have to reach the number goals, per se.  Will I feel like I failed if at the end of 2017 I weigh 165 pounds, absolutely not!  I will have made a great deal of progress.

I've said all along this was a journey--there is no end point, except health and wellness...in whatever form that shows up.  But I gave up last year, and I won't be doing that anymore!  I have this body, and have worked for it.  I'm going to continue working as long as my body will allow me to.  At whatever point that my knee does give out and requires knee-replacement I'll slow down as much as I have to to maintain the health of that knee...but in the meantime, IT'S ON!!