So, today I had to go back to the Box. It is funny how intimidating just showing up can be after an embarrassing WOD like I had on Monday night. To make matters worse, I was working out at 7:00 am, which I had never done before, and but for the coaches, didn't really know anyone there besides the coaches, until Baller showed up.
The warm-up looked like a work-out for most people, 1 minute intervals of the following:
1. Sledge hammer throw (beating the shit out of a tire with a sledge hammer.
2. Flip over tires (don't laugh, this isn't easy when they weigh 250 pounds each)
3. Tricep dips
4. Lateral Med Ball Jumps (Jump over a medicine ball from side to side)
5. Agility Exercise. (parallel PVC pipes about 6" off the ground, from the left hop over, both feet in the middle, continue to the right and go back and forth hopping over these bars.)
WOD 1: 5 rounds
10 pull-ups (mine are still VERY assisted)
20 wall ball shots (8 pound medicine ball)
10 burpees (still using a 12" box thanks to the hip flexor issues)
5 Cleans (I used 40#, not the 95 RX)
Tabata Training: (I don't know who or what Tabata is, but I didn't like this, AT ALL!!)
30 second intervals with 10 second breaks in between
8 intervals total
Kettle Bell swings (I think I missed one round but still totaled 35 for the 3 rounds I finished)
Reverse ab-mat sit-ups (I was only able to bust out 20 of these total)
After all this was over I was under the distinct impression that dieing might feel better...That was of course, until Jim came over and told me we were going to run 100 meters. I was game, and knew I could handle 100 meters, but much more than that I might have to slug him. On the way out to run he handed me a 10 pound weight to carry in front of me on the 50 meters out, and then told me to carry it over my head for the 50 back.
I think sometimes, people who are my size and trying so hard to make such a drastic change are scared to death and have no expectation of succeeding. I have failed more times than I can count, and probably wouldn't admit the number if I knew it. When failure has been your only benchmark in the past, as soon as the going gets tough and you fail, it's easy to walk away and give up. That is what I have always done in the past. As soon as I failed once, I walked away, I gave up on myself, I decided to take my grandmother's words to heart that, "If you were meant to be thin you wouldn't have to try so hard." Well, this time it was different. Even though I was demoralized and embarrassed by my performance on Monday night, I came back to that work out and finished what I could. I got up yesterday and walked/jogged the amount of time I was supposed to for my half marathon training. I continued the work that was necessary, I didn't give up on myself, or on my dream of being fit and healthy. I walked into the box today determined to finish, whatever it took. I did that, and you know what, it felt really, really freaking good! So when you fail, whatever that looks like, you don't have to swallow that and let it eat you up from the inside out. You have a choice. You can either let it take over your mind or you can use it as fuel to continue to push harder and work harder in the next workout. I know what I chose to do with Monday night's failure....what will you do with your next failure?