Progress...

It's a funny thing, progress.  Progress happens slowly, and all of a sudden at the same time.  I keep saying that I don't see a change in my body, and have even sworn off the scale because I was becoming frustrated at the lack of change on the scale.  I have had folks ask me how much weight I had lost, which was like another dagger in my side when I said, "nothing."  Folks have said they can see a difference, and I thought for sure that they were lying to boost my confidence and make me feel better.

Then, today, I got out of the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  Now, for those that are on the plus side of things, or uncomfortable with their bodies, you know how difficult it can be to face the reflection in the mirror.  I was shocked to notice that for the first time in quite a while, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see my belly button.  I didn't have a roll of fat that fell over my belly button, obstructing it from view.  I was completely dumbfounded.  Then I felt just froggy enough about this difference, that I decided to try on a pair of pants I haven't worn since May.  I wore them 1x and they were so tight, restrictive and uncomfortable, I swore them off until I lost some weight.  I went into my closet, grabbed those pants and gave it a shot...to my surprise, yet again, they pulled up, and buttoned w/o me even having to "suck it in".  I didn't have the uncomfortable tell-tale creases around my mid-section today, caused by ill-fitting pants, and the button was no longer ready to pop off from being stretched to its limits.

I hadn't noticed any changes in my body until today, ok, maybe I can feel my triceps and biceps a bit, but they are still well-camouflaged by my obesity.  I was so excited, and felt incredibly proud to be able to wear what I did.

I'm not so sure why, or what to attribute it to, but I'm also able to look in the mirror and not fidget, make faces, and be frustrated with my appearance, fully clothed or not.  I'm really starting to have more confidence in myself and my abilities.  Some day it'll all come together, but I'm at least making progress at this point.

Krista