The Incredible Shrinking Krista

Monday, August 20, 2012

Embracing the journey!

If I have learned anything from the years of trying to lose weight and even watching reality weight loss shows, it is that sometimes life happens to get in the way of the journey.  The question becomes, do you have what it takes to get back on the job and continue the journey or do you give up yet again?  Me?  I REFUSE to give up.  I have said it before and I will say it again, I will not quit trying until I am dead.  I have even had family members say to me, "If you were meant to be small, you wouldn't have to work so hard."  I say, screw what I was meant to be, I'm going to be what I WANT to be!

The reality is that after my workout with Mike Clay, I had some difficulty, I fell off the wagon a bit food-wise, and last week was the busiest week of the year in my office.  I worked from 8-7 every day except Monday, and by Friday I was so exhausted I didn't get out of bed from the time I got home Friday till 11am Saturday.  I wandered to the recliner in the living room, and stayed there until 11:00 at night when I took a shower and went back to bed.  Yesterday I was almost human again, which means today is back to the grind.

This morning, before I left the house, I packed my workout clothes, put them in the car, and headed off to work.  At 4:58 I started saving my work and shutting my computer down and I was out the door of my office by 2 or 3 after 5:00.  I headed to the best workout place EVER!  Here's one of the many reasons I LOVE CrossFit.  I have always heard it is a community.  When I came in today for my first workout in a week, I had people ask me where I had been.  I challenge anyone who works out at an open concept gym, to tell me that when they missed a week, people they had never had a conversation with came to them, welcomed them back and said they had been missed.  I have been a member of multiple gyms and have never had anyone miss me.

I got changed, and all of the tentative feelings and nerves I had before my first workout were back.  What if I couldn't do today what I have done in the last few workouts?  What if I've lost all of the stamina I had built up?  What if I couldn't handle the workout?  What if I fell on my face an embarrassed myself?  The answer to all, Who gives a crap.  Suck it up, step it up, and push through this workout.  Get done what needs to get done!

So, We didn't really get through all of the warm-ups, but we started working on some mobility with Pete Koch.  He was spending some time working with myself and another member on flexibility and form.  As frustrating as it is for me, I desperately want to jump ahead and be able to do the workouts as they are prescribed.  I want to be able to feel comfortable working out in shorts and tank tops that are snug for ease of movement, comfort and to stay cool.  I want to see the number on the scale, and the waistband going down.  I want to start seeing some definition in my arms, legs, and dare I say it, my abs. I need to embrace this journey though because it will happen in time, but it is a process.  Mike Clay has now told me twice that it isn't the 1st or the 5th workout that matters, it is the 100th workout and the 200th workout that make a difference.  This many workouts means you have dedicated yourself to the process.

I can't begin to remember the WOD as prescribed, but here is what my workout looked like tonight:
WOD #1: for time
Push Press (Learner bar, 20#) 21-15-9
Single modified burpees (hands on a 12" box) 21-15-9
I completed all 3 rounds in 6 minutes and 20 seconds.

**This is typically when my guilt kicks in.  I feel guilty watching the people who are still working out.  It took some folks almost 20 minutes to finish the prescribed WOD.  I feel bad walking over to get a drink of water while they are still sweating it out, grunting and dropping the bars because they have pushed their bodies to the limits of their capabilities.

WOD#2:  The finisher is what Pete called it, I'd call it "The Punisher"
1 minute each round, as many of the following as you can do
burpees (my hands on the box again)
tricep dips (my hands on the bench)
decline push ups (mine were the flat girlie kind, on my knees)
double-unders (yeah, right, but I did jump rope for a minute each)
full depth walking lunges (I don't have that much flexibility yet, and I was doing them w/a 10# weight overhead)
1 minute rest
Then repeat

The thing is, while I WANT to do everything we are supposed to do, my body is not ready for that yet.  I want to be able to put weight on the bar and lift it, I want to be able to do burpees on the floor (Did I really just type that?)  I want to be able to do my WODs as prescribed, but pushing myself to do it before my body can handle it will result in an injury and delay the process.  I need to get my body back.  I need to get healthy.  I have 6 months to be ready for the Princess Half Marathon.

I will be running 3 days/week, doing CrossFit 3 days/week.  The Princess Half is 6 months from Friday.  In that 6 months, I would like to lose 60 pounds, and be able to finish in under 3 hours, which is about a 13.45 minute/mile pace for the entire 13.1 miles.

I'm going to have doubts, and issues.  I'm going to have speed bumps and life WILL happen, but I WILL continue to embrace the journey, speed bumps and all.


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