Well I really can't say where last week went, but I know this, I worked out on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday morning. My eating habits are still an issue,and one that I will be addressing once I get paid on Friday and can order some food that is good for me.
I want to say this, on Saturday, for the first time ever, I was contemplating quitting my workout. I get inside my own head and start to rationalize and make it ok to be a failure. I don't know why I do this, but I suspect it's not all that uncommon when someone is starting a journey as big as the one that I am on. Well, Saturday, I got to the box, and the weather was PERFECT. No humidity in the air, maybe a little on the chilly side, but definitely comfortable for a work out. There was a breeze blowing, it was comfortable, and I was there, like I said I would be, doing what I said I was going to do.
The workout started, and while I was able to run 180 of my 200 meters ( a first since starting CrossFit a month ago I couldn't even run 50). This was a dreaded AMRAP workout for time. The first time around, I was doing okay, but when it came time to start running AGAIN, I was SHOT! That's when the doubt started to creep in. There were quite a few folks hanging out that had completed the 8:30 WOD, doing some extra work. When you are as insecure as I am, you start telling yourself that they are making fun of you....laughing at your obviously ineffective and laughable efforts to complete the workout. I kept glancing over, and getting more and more embarrassed. I don't have a logical explanation for this, because when I looked over, no one was pointing, or laughing, or any thing of the sort....just my twisted "fat girl" brain trying to convince me to stop trying. I told my "fat girl" brain to shut the F up, out loud, more than once, but she just wouldn't listen and I was on the verge of grabbing my water bottle and heading to the car. Right about then I heard a voice behind me saying, "Just keep moving, you've got this." I had no idea who it was, but it wasn't a voice I recognized. I didn't want to turn around because I was pretty sure I was imagining things, then i realized there was a guy jogging next to me. He introduced himself, Christian, asked my name and said that it would be easy to remember. His voice was enough to drown out the "fat girl" brain and keep me pushing. He told me the faster I moved my arms, the faster my feet would move. Then I heard Pete Koch yelling about tension being the enemy of speed, and we needed to relax while running. I finished that 200 meters, walking most of it, then on to dreaded box jumps. My partner, Karen, was jogging at this point, and encouraging me to keep going every time she finished a hundred...and I encouraged her. I kept going, and once I was over the hump of that run, had no desire to quit, in fact, I wanted to finish my 2nd round and get through the entire workout 2x before the 20 minutes expired. I finished with about 5 seconds to spare. I so appreciate the folks at the box being so encouraging, and being there at times when I don't even ask for help, but apparently, it shows that I need some one the outside and that I am struggling. You folks ROCK!!! I love my crossfit family. I am new at this, but it never ceases to amaze me the help and support that is offered to fellow crossfitters.
Thanks, again, Christian and Karen. You guys saved me from my own mind and sabotage on Saturday morning!
Krista
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