The Incredible Shrinking Krista

Monday, February 3, 2014

Fear!

So, for every person there is something that they fear.  There are the obvious, like Snakes (for me), and thunder storms, and spiders.

Well, I had a very eye-opening discussion tonight with my coach for the New Year, New You transformation challenge.  I am so very torn right now about what to do for exercise, etc.  Here I am with a torn meniscus trying to figure out whether to stay in the challenge, or drop out.  What can I really do?

So, my coach just called me out, and honestly, I know I needed it.  But here is the realization I am coming to.  I'm not sure whether I am more scared of failing, or succeeding.  I don't know if I am afraid of hurting myself worse, or just not being able to do what I should.

I know that I get embarrassed about going to the gym still.  Even though I'm down nearly 60 pounds, walking into the gym with all the other fit folks in the gym is still VERY hard.  I still see myself as "the fat girl" and fear being made fun of, which I know intellectually is ridiculous, but it still is a bit frightening.

Why am I so scared?  What am I so scared of?  Is this even remotely normal?  Any of my other WLS friends have this, or is this just me and my insecurities?

I know that I'm not going to quit on the challenge.  I know that I need to get over these fears, but how?  Any of my friends have any suggestions?

Krista

4 comments:

  1. It has nothing to do with WLS. Everyone goes through this. I still struggle with it daily.

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    1. Thanks, Mallory! I struggle with my self-image...and it's getting harder and harder, because I see myself still as the big huge woman I was...but my self-doubt isn't getting any better.

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  2. I still go to the box and feel like the "fat girl." and I'm probably the smallest that I've ever been. You will probably struggle with it daily, far longer than you should, but know that we all do. The trick is not to let that voice saying "can't, won't" win.

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    1. Thanks, Sarah!! You are such an inspiration. I'm hoping to be as successful as you and Michele. It is still very hard for me.

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