What's that old saying.....

I believe it goes something like, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."  I concur.  I started coughing yesterday which I quickly dismissed, then found myself in the doctor's office this morning with bronchitis and 2 prescriptions so that I don't end up sicker than a dog, and deep into asthmatic bronchitis that typically takes me over a month to get over...so, no running for me yesterday, but hopefully the meds will kick in , and I can at least walk a little bit tomorrow w/o coughing up a lung.

Resolve...

So, I have had a few set-backs, most of them mental, but I have to find the resolve to meet my goals.  I have consistently, in the past, set myself up to fail, I guess because I was afraid of success, or maybe didn't feel worthy of it.  I'm really not sure what the reason is that I sabatoge myself constantly, but I need to fake it till I make it, and Stop That Crap!!

I sat down at lunch today and figured out that if I start training today, I will barely have enough time to complete the Couch to 5k plan before the Diva on May 20.  I have worked all year in a dance class, and recital is June 3, so I won't be able to have the surgery until after that.  (I've worked too hard all year to miss that, even if I will feel/look old up there on stage.) 

So here's how the schedule looks for me....

Couch to 5k training starts tonight, and will be finished on May 20 when I do the Diva 5k in Myrtle Beach.  I will continue to run weekly until surgery, which I am going to try to schedule for June 4. 

Surgery June 4, or sometime that week.

4 weeks to recover lets me start my Half Marathon training program on the week of July 2 for the Battleship Half Marathon on November 4.

Immediately "start" the training program over again to speed myself up and continue to build endurance again on the week of November 5, which will give me enough time to get completely through the program with a few weeks to spare for the Princess Half Marathon on February 24, 2012. 

Here's to a good year of training. 

I am also doing Weight Watchers online to work on my eating habits, and will be swimming on the days I don't run, as well as doing some resistance training to work on my lean muscle to help my body burn off some of this fat.  In a perfect world I would be at my goal weight by the Princess Half next year...but we're just going to bust butt, and make sure we can get there, injury free, and finish it this year.  I WILL NOT be catching a bus to the finish line next year!!

The verdict is in...

I saw the foot and ankle specialist, and he was, I don't know, amused by my previous diagnosis of having a "bone spur" in my foot.  He didn't expound, however, I would say it was clear that he agreed with me that my issues have been blown off in the past as being due to my weight.  Now the only issue is my insurance is changing on April 1st.  So, I have to go see him again on April 16 to re-establish as a patient and to give a basis for the surgery with the new insurance.  I was hoping to have the surgery on good friday, when the college I work for is closed, but no such luck.  So, basically, I have to find a surgery date that is as close to the 16th of April as possible, to hopefully get in my recovery and PT before the 5k in May and my dance recital in June.  If I don't do it before those 2, I will be WAY behind in my training to be successful for the Princess in 2013, and more importantly, the Battleship half in November. 

So--here's to a quick recovery, and an outcome that leaves me pain free and with a more reliable ankle than I have had in years!!

Head's up for a give away....

I've just started running (walking) but intend to use this new found love to help me reach my fitness goals.  I am going to need a place to display all of my medals...So I am entering to win a medal hangar, to display them all with pride.  To get as many entries as possible, I wanted to post information about the give-away on my blog.  Please continue to support me and my goals.  I appreciate all of your support.

http://crazymotherontherun.blogspot.com/2012/03/allied-medal-display-give-way.html

Krista

It is time....Past time!

I have spent years saying that I wanted to lose weight, but until now, have never said, "I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT".  I am planning on exercising, doing the couch to 5k plan, followed by half marathon training plan, and a Battleship half marathon in November, then recovering, and working toward the Princess Half Marathon. 

Well, the fact is, much like a car requires gas and service to run, and operate correctly, my body needs the right fuel and maintenance to do what it needs to do.  The more crap I put into it, the more gunked up the system becomes.  It is time to start feeding my body what it needs, to help it do what it is God has made it to do. 

In that vein, I will be embarking on several small changes, one at a time, until my entire food lifestyle (identity) has been transformed into one that is more healthy and appropriate for fueling my body.  To that end, step 1 will be to eliminate sweet tea and any and all soda.  I will only be drinking water, hot tea and black coffee.  I will not add another change unless and until, this change is no longer a struggle. 

The next steps will be to move toward a lean/clean diet.  Fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, low fat meats, etc.  The less processed I can find things, the better.  Processing things adds extra work for the body to process as well, and typically, adds a lot of things like gluten to them.  I am realizing that on the PINK diet, with all of the unprocessed foods, I had a lot more energy and felt much better.  The thing is, it was a VERY drastic change all at once, and was difficult to maintain.  I'm planning on working toward a food lifestyle that is very similar to the PINK diet, but doing it gradually, so my body has time to adjust as I remove things from my diet slowly.

My dream is the wish my heart made....to finish the Princess Half Marathon, 2013!!

The diagnosis and the plan.

I went to the doctor today to get my hip and ankle checked after having swelling for over a week since the Princess.  I figured it would be a good idea to get everything checked out before I undertook a massive training effort to do a 5k in May, a half marathon in November, and ultimately the princess next February again.  I cannot afford to have another injury that kept me from finishing, so it is better to start healthy and stay healthy. 

So the good news, to some extent, is that I do not have any major issue with my left hip.  The bursa sac surrounding my left hip socket is very inflamed, most-likely from favoring the right ankle.  He said the best thing to do would be to do a cortisone injection to reduce the inflammation, and then PT to keep it from getting inflamed again. 

The not-so-good news was that I have a VERY arthritic ankle for a 37 year old woman.  Basically a bone spur and arthritis are pretty much the same thing.  You can see in the x-ray where my bone is supposed to end, and the bony growth beyond that.  He says he feels like I would be a good candidate for arthroscopic ankle surgery.  This is pretty interesting because when I have seen doctors in the recent past, they typically want to attribute everything to my weight and tell me that the way to make it better is to lose the weight, which is difficult to do when you hurt so bad every time you try to exercise.  So my appointment with the foot and ankle specialist is on March 19.  In the interim, he gave me a lace-up brace for my ankle to keep it supported and prevent any more damage to my ankle. 

I'm anxiously awaiting my training calendar in the mail.  I missed my workout this morning due to the swelling in my ankle from dance class last night.  Now that I know I can walk and do some light jogging, within my comfort zone and keeping the pain at bay.  So, while this is definitely a work in progress, It is definitely something that I can and WILL do!

I also want to take a moment to thank everyone that took the time to not only read, but respond to my previous blog post.  It means so very much to me that so many people are reading my blog and being supportive.  I will need a lot of support and motivation as I continue this journey to become a running mama, rather than a hobbling mama.  Please do continue to let me know what you think of my blog and its content!  I really do appreciate your support.

I'm going to close this blog with my favorite new quite, which I saw a lot of at the Princess Half Marathon; "The miracle isn't that I finished, it is that I had the courage to start."  This is a quote from John Bingham, who I keep hearing I need to read the books he has written. 

Thanks Again!
Krista

The lonliest 2 miles of my life...

All I can say is WOW!  I went to Walt Disney World last weekend to throw my hat in the half marathon ring.  I knew I hadn't trained as much as I should have and with a massive bone spur, plantar fasciatis and IT band pain in my left hip, the likelihood of maintaining the required pace wasn't good.  The frustrating part was, if only I had known to fib a bit about my finish time when I registered, I would have been at least 2 or 3 corrals further up and had a 25 minute lead on the damned balloon ladies! 

Let me say this first, if anyone knows how to put on an amazing run, it is Disney!  Let me explain, but I'm getting ahead of myself, I need to go back and start at the beginning of my day.  It all started at the unGodly hour of 2:15 in the morning, as we had to get up and get ready, we were meeting in the lobby of Shades of Green to walk over to the Polynesian and catch the bus to the race start.  It is almost a mile walk from SOG to the Poly, but we met some amazingly awesome girls on the way.  I was given glow sticks and even a little wand by one of the other princesses.  Here's Kara and I on the bus...still half asleep, but ridiculously excited for what was ahead of us! 

We got to Epcot and climbed off the bus and began the hike to the baggage check. 

We were greeted by a DJ, spinning lights, and a club scene that was more fun than should have been had at that hour in a Disney Park.  We were surrounded by port-a-potties and more tutus than I could have ever have conceived.  According to 1 girl at the start line, "It's Disney, of course the port-a-potties don't stink, people can only poop flowers and rainbows on Disney Property".  She was truly one of the sweetest women I met during this experience.  Her name was Carol, from Houston, TX.  She was really funny and down to earth.  She congratulated me on having the courage to come out and attempt a half marathon with my injuries.  I noticed she was going to be starting from corral A, the first to start, which meant she had proven her ability to finish in under 2 hours by previously completing a race of the same length.  I ran into her afterwards, and she had completed the half in 1:40:59 or so.  She gave me a glow-in-the-dark necklace for my birthday, because she notice my "Birthday Girl" crown. 

Once we got to the Corrals, it rapidly became apparent that while my adrenaline was taking over, I didn't have a snowball's chance of finishing this.  There's pessimism, and there is reality, this was reality.  I had sabotaged myself yet again, I hadn't done what I needed to do to be successful.  Same old pattern, just a new endeavor. Well, that is the VERY LAST time that this will be my reality.  My plan was a good one, I would do my best, and if/when the dreaded balloon ladies met me, I would become their new best friend. 
Let me explain; there are 2 ladies that are the pace line.  They cross the start line with the last person in corral H and the maintain a 16minute/mile pace which is the minimum acceptable pace for the half marathon.  I knew they would catch me, I just didn't think it would happen so quickly.  Within a few minutes of starting the race, I realized that even though I had been in the front line of Corral H at the start line, I was getting passed like I was standing still.  I started to cry about half a mile in because I knew that I wasn't going to make it and it was the loneliest feeling.  How could a person feel lonely around 20,000+ other runners, and the answer is, it is definitely possible.  Between mile markers 1 and 2, the dreaded balloon ladies passed me.  They were amazingly supportive, cheered me on, and coached me to try to keep up with them, but my body just wouldn't go any faster.  It wasn't long before I had a guy on a bike pedal up next to me and say, "Excuse me, Princess Krista, are you aware of the pacing requirements?"  Understand, my bib said, "Princess Krista" on it, that's how he knew my name.  I explained that yes, I was aware of the requirements.  He told me I needed to catch up with the balloon ladies before the next mile marker.  Then a medic came along on a bike, asking if I was ok.  I had been crying for about a mile now, because my reality had set in, and I was definitely not going to finish.  I kept telling the guy on the bike and the medics that I was physically fine, just emotionally/mentally demoralized.  That was really the only explanation for the tears, and they just wouldn't stop falling!  I had lost sight of the balloon ladies, but I wasn't going to give up.  At this point I heard a lady behind me crying, and heard her friend say, "I love you, but I have to go, don't want to get swept" as she sprinted away.  I felt so bad for this lady.  I knew how lonely she must feel, because I had felt it since my sister went to start in Corral G and left me in Corral H.  Don't get me wrong, I knew my sister needed to go run her own race, and I respect her for doing so, I just felt very alone.  I turned around to talk to this woman, whose name escapes me at the moment.  She was participating as a part of "Team in Training" and even the coaches for Team in Training had left her.  I tried to encourage her, but as I turned back around, I saw the bus along the side of the road start to move and park across the road.  My heart sank.  I had hoped I would get caught up before mile 2 and get to at least complete 3 miles, but that just wasn't in the cards.  Well, my sister always says, "Dead freaking last is better than did not finish.  Did not finish is better than did not start.  Did not start is better than did not try."  I got on the bus, and I rationalized that "Even Cinderella had to catch a coach to the ball."  There were 5 of us in the back of the bus, all a bit heavier than most.  The lady who I had been talking to that had cried the majority of the last part of the race, told us that her father had said to her, "You'll never finish, why are you even going to try?"  Another girl had had double pneumonia and severe food poisoning leading to hospitalization less than a week before.  There was another girl on the bus, dressed as Belle, who said, "Well, I made it 2 miles this year, maybe next year I'll only make it 4, but I'll be here, and I'll be doing everything I can to finish or at least improve!"  Her name was Elizabeth, from Miami, and she was amazing!  She was so positive while being surrounded by the 3 of us who were bawling.  The Disney employee on the bus said, "Well, the good news is, we're going to take you to the finish line, you'll get off the bus and get your medal, and no one will be any the wiser." 
This is what our coach looked like:

When I stood up to get off the bus, I could barely walk.  My foot/ankle were in horrible pain, and I could barely move.  It was bad enough that the finish line medic sat me down and gave me 1000mg of tylenol to help with the pain before he handed me my medal. A few minutes later I ran into Elizabeth again, and she handed me a rose with Mickey hot glued to one of the petals.  She said she bought it in hopes that she would find me again.  She said that my encouragement of the other ladies was inspirational to her, and that she hoped I had an amazing birthday!
 Now comes the crazy part.  Neither my sister, nor I, brought our cell phones.  We decided that our cameras, ipods, gels, tiaras, were enough.  So we didn't take them.  Massive fail!  You see, I had no way of knowing where on the course she was.  I contemplated trying to jump on the bus back to the Polynesian and see if I can get to Shades of Green before Kara runs by...but I wasn't sure I would make it, and I didn't know that her husband was going to make it to the finish line.  If she actually got to finish, I didn't want her to have no one there waiting for her.  Then I didn't know whether to go to the finish line, or wait by the medical tent.  I chose middle ground.  I stood by the exit to the baggage check for the section where Kara's bag was checked, and rotated between watching the baggage check exit and the jumbo-tron of the finish line.  Then I realized I was so tired, that I didn't even know what my sister was wearing to run.  This is not good with over 15,000 people crossing the finish line.  I had finally stood there for so long, the cop started talking to me, and the volunteer working there was going to walk me to the medical tent.  I had told this volunteer that I was concerned because Kara had bad knees, and I was concerned that she was in the medical tent.  You see, I had seen numerous people come by saying, "I just got a call that my wife/mother/sister is in the medical tent."  I knew Kara didn't have her cell phone and I didn't have mine.  I also knew I hadn't seen my brother-in-law, the kids or my mom, so I was the only person there to be there for her if she needed someone or something.  As the volunteer took me toward the medical tent, I heard my name get yelled out.  I know, there were over 15,000 people there, but not many were krista's.  (Okay, I just checked, there were 30 Krista's that finished, and at least 1 that didn't.)  Also, I caught the bus back to the Polynesian while my sister got more ice for her knees and went looking for a "lost and found" since she had chucked her jacket on teh side of the road and forgotten to take off her Garmin before doing so, and was hoping someone had found it and turned it in.  I mentioned to the genglemen around me, there were 3, that I was impressed by their willingness to wear tutus and skirts, because I was 100% certain that even if I got my husband to run the race, we had a better chance of seeing Satan selling snow cones than seeing him in a tutu or a skirt.  Prince Lance, who was wearing a smashing white skirt with different colored heart on it, talked to me on the bus, and even on the walk all the way back to Shades of Green.  He was a nice, guy, from Northern California, an Engineer, much like my husband.  He told me that he didn't know that he would be back next year, but he was going to look at the results for a Krista from NC who finished the race next year, and he hoped he would see my name.  Well, Prince Lance, from northern CA, you will see my name, I WILL FINISH!

All this is to say, that I had fun, even if I didn't finish.  So, I have already started planning for next year.  I have made a training calendar for next year.  I customized it through shutterfly.com.
I will be doing a half marathon here in NC in November.  I will be doing the Battleship half marathon, the purpose of which is to do another half marathon and complete it before heading back to Disney.  I will be hoping to finish it in under 2 1/2 hours, so that I can get a really good corral for next year's Princess Half Marathon.  I believe that with a 2 1/2 hour finish time at the Battleship half marathon, I would be in Corral C or D, which, if the princess is as large as it was this year, I would have corrals E, F, G and H behind me.  That is 30 minutes between me and the balloon ladies at the very start...maybe more.  And the time limit is 3 1/2 hours, so I would beat those mean old heffers by a whole hour. 
This has been an amazing learning experience for me, one that I will never forget!  I will never again set myself up to fail in this way.  So While I originally started this blog to document my weightloss journey, I'm instead going to start to focus on working out and getting healthier, and weightloss will hopefully be a collateral response to my half marathon training.  I am going on record now and saying that my current weight is 257 pounds, but my weight won't be mentioned on the blog again until next year's Princess half marathon re-cap.  Rather than focusing on a number on the scale, I intend to focus on my training plan, and making it to all of my workouts.