The Incredible Shrinking Krista

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Speed bumps....

The most difficult part of this darned journey to get healthy are the speed bumps in the road and tolls you have to pay to be on this journey.  These tolls and speed bumps serve as warning signs and speed traps along the way, and they are the most difficult part for me to "get over".  I really enjoy working out these days, I love to sweat, it feels good to get out of breath and know that I am doing something to help myself at this point.....the problem is, my speed bumps, tolls, and speed traps are all food related.  The fact of the matter is, my eating habits are the only reason that the scale isn't showing the decreases that I would like to see.  I need some serious help with food.  I am a foodie--I love to eat!!  I like how I feel when I eat sugary stuff, I hate to tell myself  "no" and I LOVE food about as much as my body hates it.  I eat what I want, only to feel like crap a few hours later and miserable the next day...then the guilt sets in.  "I'm a failure", "Why did I just do that?", "Why did I just let myself eat that?"  The sad part is, as smart and well-educated as I am, this is the biggest hurdle I have to overcome. 

I have a cruise to be on in 5 short months and would really like the reflection I see in the mirror to be one I am happy with.  I am supposed to be running a half marathon on February 26 of next year, but there isn't a chance in the world that I can run 13.1 miles at the 240.2 pounds that I am tipping the scales at at the moment.  I just have no idea how I'm going to get over this particular speed bump in my health and fitness.  The fact of the matter is, at this point, I'm not even eligible for individual insurance because of my weight (Even though I have NONE of the typical and expensive co-morbidities that go with Obesity). 

I NEED HELP!!!  So, I have decided to change personal trainers.  The new trainer is also a certified nutritional counselor.  This is an uphill battle for me with my history, as well as the fact that I have 1 child who has sensory integration disorder and can't eat meat, or pasta, or most anything except chicken nuggets, yogurt, cheese and chips without vomitting.  Add to that the next child who won't eat anything her big brother doesn't, and a job schedule that leaves my poor darling husband home 2-3 nights/week with 3 kids that he has to figure out how to feed, bathe and tuck into bed before their exhausted Mommy gets home and you have the perfect storm of circumstances for frozen, easy, overly-processed and preserved foods and you get a ridiculously unhealthy family!  This trend has GOT to change. 

I will gladly accept any advice that anyone has to offer with the exception of surgery or meal replacement shakes, and the like.  Surgery is a very good option for many people, but as a woman with a clotting disorder that makes it 120% more likely I will have a blood clot that the average person, major surgery is just NOT a good idea.  As far as the meal replacement shakes and things go, again, another valid option for many, but not something I can feesibly do for the rest of my life, so not something that will work long-term for me.



1 comment:

  1. Girl you couldnt have said it any better.I love the feeling that I get when I workout,sweating, heavy breathing, feeling like I am about to fall over..I love it but I love food..when I eat the bad foods I feel horrible and I am like WTH? why did I just do that..It kills me..I am just wasting my time working out for nothing..I dont see anything dropping off the scales..same numbers..this is something I seriously need help with..I know I shouldnt blame anyone but I blame my parents Why didnt they teach me good eating habits when I was much younger..why didnt they say NO ange you cant eat that? why didnt they take it away..I dont want my kids ending up the same way..I cook good for them and they eat very healthy..but its me I am the one who has to go to mcdonalds and get a double burger, milkshake,fries..etc..I need serious help! I so wished we lived closer..I am the only one who can stop this..I just dont know how to? I so wished BOB was nearby or would rescue me but then again Its Ange who has to make this turning point..Bob or anyone else can just give me the tools I have to put it to work..Grrrr I am just venting..If you ever need to vent, scream, whatever you have my nu,ber call me..text me..whatever ya girl..we will get this..god bless!!! oh im with ya on the surgery..