Good morning, strangers!
I haven't been around much, and posting on my blog, to put it bluntly, I got comfortable, and a bit lazy with my health. I injured my knee a year and a half ago and I haven't been able to run since then. I tried to go back to cross-fitting, which I LOVE, but a knee with zero cartilage is just NOT conducive to squatting, with or without weight.
Right after that injury to my knee, our family suffered some serious health issues. My father-in-law had a pacemaker put in, immediately after returning from helping them, my father was admitted to the hospital. 2 or 3 days after my father was discharged from the hospital, my Nana was admitted and subsequently passed away. With all that travel, time in hospitals, eating out, and travelling for my Nana's funeral, I gained back 20 of the 98 pounds I had lost (and kept off for 18 months). Over the last 15 or 16 months, I've gained an additional 12 pounds due to basically getting "comfortable" and not having a way to workout that I loved or quite frankly, was even comfortable with. I've also allowed myself to go back to some of my bad eating (and drinking) habits. No, i don't often, if ever, drink alcohol, but I'm addicted to coffee and sweet tea like some are addicted to stronger drinks.
All of this has contributed to me getting back above 200 pounds for the first time in over 2 years. While I'd like to cry about this revelation, it is my own fault, and not something I can blame on anyone or anything but myself.
Well, a few weeks I got myself a MAJOR wake-up call that has made me take an honest look at my decisions and take inventory of what I'm doing in my day-to-day life. It's been just over 3 weeks (I think), maybe 4(?) that I was working before school care and out of nowhere, I had a horrible pain in my chest. Then the pain was in my shoulder, I thought I would throw up, or pass out, or maybe both. My hands started to sweat really badly, I told the lady I was working with that I was having chest pain and as SHOULD happen, they called 911. I spent Monday and Tuesday in the hospital being checked for all manner of heart issues and blood clots. Then I ended up in the ER again on Saturday with a blood clot that went from my wrist to my elbow. The only test left to be completed was a stress test. I completed that on Monday of this week and was told that my heart was healthy.
I was also given stern lectures by the ER doc and the cardiologist that I needed to get back to exercising. I need to find a low-impact exercise (for my knee) that I can enjoy and get my heart rate up and increase my cardiovascular health. I need to do this and fix my eating habits so that I'm putting healthier food into my body. All of this is going on around the same time that my 10yo daughter is struggling with her weight as well. My husband had some bloodwork done. My Husband's blood pressure is a bit on the high side, His last few sets of blood work have shown high cholesterol and triglycerides. Everyone in our family is in need of a much healthier diet.
What's interesting in all of this is that just recently I've really come to accept my body as it is. For the first time in my adult life I'm not disgusted with myself when I look in a mirror. I don't feel like a failure or like something has gone horribly wrong in my life making me a failure. So while I know that losing weight will likely be a product of my healthier diet and exercise, it's not my goal. My primary focus and goal is my health. I'm looking at this as an honest-to-goodness lifestyle change. I don't EVER want to experience the fear, pain or anxiety that I did that morning at school. If that wasn't a heart attack, which they tell me it wasn't, I don't want to know what one feels like. Yikes.
I'm going to go back to blogging on a regular basis, because it keeps me accountable. While I have no weight loss goals, I'll still be keeping track of my weight, and measurements, to be sure I have a way to track progress. I'm going to go back to food logging on My Fitness Pal, and I'll be wearing my FitBit every day as well. If you are on either platform, and would like to follow and help support me I'd appreciate any help and support. I know for sure that when I started this weight loss journey in earnest years ago, I know I was told repeatedly that it would be a life-long battle. If there was anything in my entire life that I had hoped would be wrong, that little tidbit I hoped would be wrong. It appears that nothing was ever truer, and this crazy journey to health and fitness is one that I will struggle with for the long-haul!
I appreciate everyone's love and support over the years.