Today is THAT DAY!

I have struggled for years to see myself the way others see me.  This is not something that is easy for me.

I find myself questioning the legitimacy of compliments paid to me, I don't believe that those comments and/or compliments are without strings.

When I look in the mirror, I typically see nothing but a long list of flaws.  It usually goes something like this:

yes, but, I have these scars on my face (from 6 stitches), too many freckles, 3 chins, flabby arms, a horrendously large muffin top, loose/flabby thighs and cankles.

Today, after getting up from having my hair cut and colored. I stood up to look in the mirror, and I saw ME.  I didn't see the long list of flaws that I would typically run off without even a moment's thought.

I actually did a double-take because rather than listing off my flaws, I simply thought, "I love my hair".  I was actually completely dumbfounded by the reality of that and what it meant as far as where I was in my mental journey after my weight loss surgery.  For the first time in my life, I didn't look at my flaws, I just saw me, and I was happy with what I saw.

I shared this with one of my friends online who has been a huge inspiration to me, and she said that this is the first step to loving myself.  I've never felt that way, so this is a brand new experience for me, and one I look forward to furthering and learning more about.

Krista

18 months post-op

I had my 18 month post-op appointment today.

I met with Dr. Bruce and two students that aspire to be doctors.  I had a few questions that I needed to ask so I basically just let it rip.

After my half marathon on the 28th, I had a great deal of difficulty getting warm.  Basically Dr. Bruce told me that my body doesn't regulate temperature well, and never will again.  If I plan to continue doing "extreme activities" like half marathons, etc, I need to plan on having pants/sweat shirt at the finish to keep from the poor adjustment afterwards.

I had also asked him about losing these last 25 pounds or so I'd like to lose.  I was very honest about having fallen back into some old habits, like drinking sweet tea and coffee, as well as skipping meals at times.  He said that he wants me to come back in a month with a food journal to look and see what is keeping me at the weight I've been at since July.  He really thinks that my body is in starvation mode because of skipped meals, and the carbs in my coffee and sweet tea are also preventing additional weight loss.  I'm going to do my very best to get back on track as far as my food and drinks the next month and see what happens.

I'm also going to do my best to stay off the scale until my next appointment on May 6.  I'd LOVE to see a number that starts with "16" when I get back there.  I haven't been below 171.something since high school/early college.

I've set my goal weight to be between 150 and 155, so would like to get this additional 23-28 additional pounds.

I'll check in again soon.