I saw the foot and ankle specialist, and he was, I don't know, amused by my previous diagnosis of having a "bone spur" in my foot. He didn't expound, however, I would say it was clear that he agreed with me that my issues have been blown off in the past as being due to my weight. Now the only issue is my insurance is changing on April 1st. So, I have to go see him again on April 16 to re-establish as a patient and to give a basis for the surgery with the new insurance. I was hoping to have the surgery on good friday, when the college I work for is closed, but no such luck. So, basically, I have to find a surgery date that is as close to the 16th of April as possible, to hopefully get in my recovery and PT before the 5k in May and my dance recital in June. If I don't do it before those 2, I will be WAY behind in my training to be successful for the Princess in 2013, and more importantly, the Battleship half in November.
So--here's to a quick recovery, and an outcome that leaves me pain free and with a more reliable ankle than I have had in years!!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Head's up for a give away....
I've just started running (walking) but intend to use this new found love to help me reach my fitness goals. I am going to need a place to display all of my medals...So I am entering to win a medal hangar, to display them all with pride. To get as many entries as possible, I wanted to post information about the give-away on my blog. Please continue to support me and my goals. I appreciate all of your support.
http://crazymotherontherun.blogspot.com/2012/03/allied-medal-display-give-way.html
Krista
http://crazymotherontherun.blogspot.com/2012/03/allied-medal-display-give-way.html
Krista
Monday, March 12, 2012
It is time....Past time!
I have spent years saying that I wanted to lose weight, but until now, have never said, "I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT". I am planning on exercising, doing the couch to 5k plan, followed by half marathon training plan, and a Battleship half marathon in November, then recovering, and working toward the Princess Half Marathon.
Well, the fact is, much like a car requires gas and service to run, and operate correctly, my body needs the right fuel and maintenance to do what it needs to do. The more crap I put into it, the more gunked up the system becomes. It is time to start feeding my body what it needs, to help it do what it is God has made it to do.
In that vein, I will be embarking on several small changes, one at a time, until my entire food lifestyle (identity) has been transformed into one that is more healthy and appropriate for fueling my body. To that end, step 1 will be to eliminate sweet tea and any and all soda. I will only be drinking water, hot tea and black coffee. I will not add another change unless and until, this change is no longer a struggle.
The next steps will be to move toward a lean/clean diet. Fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, low fat meats, etc. The less processed I can find things, the better. Processing things adds extra work for the body to process as well, and typically, adds a lot of things like gluten to them. I am realizing that on the PINK diet, with all of the unprocessed foods, I had a lot more energy and felt much better. The thing is, it was a VERY drastic change all at once, and was difficult to maintain. I'm planning on working toward a food lifestyle that is very similar to the PINK diet, but doing it gradually, so my body has time to adjust as I remove things from my diet slowly.
My dream is the wish my heart made....to finish the Princess Half Marathon, 2013!!
Well, the fact is, much like a car requires gas and service to run, and operate correctly, my body needs the right fuel and maintenance to do what it needs to do. The more crap I put into it, the more gunked up the system becomes. It is time to start feeding my body what it needs, to help it do what it is God has made it to do.
In that vein, I will be embarking on several small changes, one at a time, until my entire food lifestyle (identity) has been transformed into one that is more healthy and appropriate for fueling my body. To that end, step 1 will be to eliminate sweet tea and any and all soda. I will only be drinking water, hot tea and black coffee. I will not add another change unless and until, this change is no longer a struggle.
The next steps will be to move toward a lean/clean diet. Fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, low fat meats, etc. The less processed I can find things, the better. Processing things adds extra work for the body to process as well, and typically, adds a lot of things like gluten to them. I am realizing that on the PINK diet, with all of the unprocessed foods, I had a lot more energy and felt much better. The thing is, it was a VERY drastic change all at once, and was difficult to maintain. I'm planning on working toward a food lifestyle that is very similar to the PINK diet, but doing it gradually, so my body has time to adjust as I remove things from my diet slowly.
My dream is the wish my heart made....to finish the Princess Half Marathon, 2013!!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
The diagnosis and the plan.
I went to the doctor today to get my hip and ankle checked after having swelling for over a week since the Princess. I figured it would be a good idea to get everything checked out before I undertook a massive training effort to do a 5k in May, a half marathon in November, and ultimately the princess next February again. I cannot afford to have another injury that kept me from finishing, so it is better to start healthy and stay healthy.
So the good news, to some extent, is that I do not have any major issue with my left hip. The bursa sac surrounding my left hip socket is very inflamed, most-likely from favoring the right ankle. He said the best thing to do would be to do a cortisone injection to reduce the inflammation, and then PT to keep it from getting inflamed again.
The not-so-good news was that I have a VERY arthritic ankle for a 37 year old woman. Basically a bone spur and arthritis are pretty much the same thing. You can see in the x-ray where my bone is supposed to end, and the bony growth beyond that. He says he feels like I would be a good candidate for arthroscopic ankle surgery. This is pretty interesting because when I have seen doctors in the recent past, they typically want to attribute everything to my weight and tell me that the way to make it better is to lose the weight, which is difficult to do when you hurt so bad every time you try to exercise. So my appointment with the foot and ankle specialist is on March 19. In the interim, he gave me a lace-up brace for my ankle to keep it supported and prevent any more damage to my ankle.
I'm anxiously awaiting my training calendar in the mail. I missed my workout this morning due to the swelling in my ankle from dance class last night. Now that I know I can walk and do some light jogging, within my comfort zone and keeping the pain at bay. So, while this is definitely a work in progress, It is definitely something that I can and WILL do!
I also want to take a moment to thank everyone that took the time to not only read, but respond to my previous blog post. It means so very much to me that so many people are reading my blog and being supportive. I will need a lot of support and motivation as I continue this journey to become a running mama, rather than a hobbling mama. Please do continue to let me know what you think of my blog and its content! I really do appreciate your support.
I'm going to close this blog with my favorite new quite, which I saw a lot of at the Princess Half Marathon; "The miracle isn't that I finished, it is that I had the courage to start." This is a quote from John Bingham, who I keep hearing I need to read the books he has written.
Thanks Again!
Krista
So the good news, to some extent, is that I do not have any major issue with my left hip. The bursa sac surrounding my left hip socket is very inflamed, most-likely from favoring the right ankle. He said the best thing to do would be to do a cortisone injection to reduce the inflammation, and then PT to keep it from getting inflamed again.
The not-so-good news was that I have a VERY arthritic ankle for a 37 year old woman. Basically a bone spur and arthritis are pretty much the same thing. You can see in the x-ray where my bone is supposed to end, and the bony growth beyond that. He says he feels like I would be a good candidate for arthroscopic ankle surgery. This is pretty interesting because when I have seen doctors in the recent past, they typically want to attribute everything to my weight and tell me that the way to make it better is to lose the weight, which is difficult to do when you hurt so bad every time you try to exercise. So my appointment with the foot and ankle specialist is on March 19. In the interim, he gave me a lace-up brace for my ankle to keep it supported and prevent any more damage to my ankle.
I'm anxiously awaiting my training calendar in the mail. I missed my workout this morning due to the swelling in my ankle from dance class last night. Now that I know I can walk and do some light jogging, within my comfort zone and keeping the pain at bay. So, while this is definitely a work in progress, It is definitely something that I can and WILL do!
I also want to take a moment to thank everyone that took the time to not only read, but respond to my previous blog post. It means so very much to me that so many people are reading my blog and being supportive. I will need a lot of support and motivation as I continue this journey to become a running mama, rather than a hobbling mama. Please do continue to let me know what you think of my blog and its content! I really do appreciate your support.
I'm going to close this blog with my favorite new quite, which I saw a lot of at the Princess Half Marathon; "The miracle isn't that I finished, it is that I had the courage to start." This is a quote from John Bingham, who I keep hearing I need to read the books he has written.
Thanks Again!
Krista
Saturday, March 3, 2012
The lonliest 2 miles of my life...
All I can say is WOW! I went to Walt Disney World last weekend to throw my hat in the half marathon ring. I knew I hadn't trained as much as I should have and with a massive bone spur, plantar fasciatis and IT band pain in my left hip, the likelihood of maintaining the required pace wasn't good. The frustrating part was, if only I had known to fib a bit about my finish time when I registered, I would have been at least 2 or 3 corrals further up and had a 25 minute lead on the damned balloon ladies!
Let me say this first, if anyone knows how to put on an amazing run, it is Disney! Let me explain, but I'm getting ahead of myself, I need to go back and start at the beginning of my day. It all started at the unGodly hour of 2:15 in the morning, as we had to get up and get ready, we were meeting in the lobby of Shades of Green to walk over to the Polynesian and catch the bus to the race start. It is almost a mile walk from SOG to the Poly, but we met some amazingly awesome girls on the way. I was given glow sticks and even a little wand by one of the other princesses. Here's Kara and I on the bus...still half asleep, but ridiculously excited for what was ahead of us!
We got to Epcot and climbed off the bus and began the hike to the baggage check.
We were greeted by a DJ, spinning lights, and a club scene that was more fun than should have been had at that hour in a Disney Park. We were surrounded by port-a-potties and more tutus than I could have ever have conceived. According to 1 girl at the start line, "It's Disney, of course the port-a-potties don't stink, people can only poop flowers and rainbows on Disney Property". She was truly one of the sweetest women I met during this experience. Her name was Carol, from Houston, TX. She was really funny and down to earth. She congratulated me on having the courage to come out and attempt a half marathon with my injuries. I noticed she was going to be starting from corral A, the first to start, which meant she had proven her ability to finish in under 2 hours by previously completing a race of the same length. I ran into her afterwards, and she had completed the half in 1:40:59 or so. She gave me a glow-in-the-dark necklace for my birthday, because she notice my "Birthday Girl" crown.
Once we got to the Corrals, it rapidly became apparent that while my adrenaline was taking over, I didn't have a snowball's chance of finishing this. There's pessimism, and there is reality, this was reality. I had sabotaged myself yet again, I hadn't done what I needed to do to be successful. Same old pattern, just a new endeavor. Well, that is the VERY LAST time that this will be my reality. My plan was a good one, I would do my best, and if/when the dreaded balloon ladies met me, I would become their new best friend.
Let me explain; there are 2 ladies that are the pace line. They cross the start line with the last person in corral H and the maintain a 16minute/mile pace which is the minimum acceptable pace for the half marathon. I knew they would catch me, I just didn't think it would happen so quickly. Within a few minutes of starting the race, I realized that even though I had been in the front line of Corral H at the start line, I was getting passed like I was standing still. I started to cry about half a mile in because I knew that I wasn't going to make it and it was the loneliest feeling. How could a person feel lonely around 20,000+ other runners, and the answer is, it is definitely possible. Between mile markers 1 and 2, the dreaded balloon ladies passed me. They were amazingly supportive, cheered me on, and coached me to try to keep up with them, but my body just wouldn't go any faster. It wasn't long before I had a guy on a bike pedal up next to me and say, "Excuse me, Princess Krista, are you aware of the pacing requirements?" Understand, my bib said, "Princess Krista" on it, that's how he knew my name. I explained that yes, I was aware of the requirements. He told me I needed to catch up with the balloon ladies before the next mile marker. Then a medic came along on a bike, asking if I was ok. I had been crying for about a mile now, because my reality had set in, and I was definitely not going to finish. I kept telling the guy on the bike and the medics that I was physically fine, just emotionally/mentally demoralized. That was really the only explanation for the tears, and they just wouldn't stop falling! I had lost sight of the balloon ladies, but I wasn't going to give up. At this point I heard a lady behind me crying, and heard her friend say, "I love you, but I have to go, don't want to get swept" as she sprinted away. I felt so bad for this lady. I knew how lonely she must feel, because I had felt it since my sister went to start in Corral G and left me in Corral H. Don't get me wrong, I knew my sister needed to go run her own race, and I respect her for doing so, I just felt very alone. I turned around to talk to this woman, whose name escapes me at the moment. She was participating as a part of "Team in Training" and even the coaches for Team in Training had left her. I tried to encourage her, but as I turned back around, I saw the bus along the side of the road start to move and park across the road. My heart sank. I had hoped I would get caught up before mile 2 and get to at least complete 3 miles, but that just wasn't in the cards. Well, my sister always says, "Dead freaking last is better than did not finish. Did not finish is better than did not start. Did not start is better than did not try." I got on the bus, and I rationalized that "Even Cinderella had to catch a coach to the ball." There were 5 of us in the back of the bus, all a bit heavier than most. The lady who I had been talking to that had cried the majority of the last part of the race, told us that her father had said to her, "You'll never finish, why are you even going to try?" Another girl had had double pneumonia and severe food poisoning leading to hospitalization less than a week before. There was another girl on the bus, dressed as Belle, who said, "Well, I made it 2 miles this year, maybe next year I'll only make it 4, but I'll be here, and I'll be doing everything I can to finish or at least improve!" Her name was Elizabeth, from Miami, and she was amazing! She was so positive while being surrounded by the 3 of us who were bawling. The Disney employee on the bus said, "Well, the good news is, we're going to take you to the finish line, you'll get off the bus and get your medal, and no one will be any the wiser."
This is what our coach looked like:
When I stood up to get off the bus, I could barely walk. My foot/ankle were in horrible pain, and I could barely move. It was bad enough that the finish line medic sat me down and gave me 1000mg of tylenol to help with the pain before he handed me my medal. A few minutes later I ran into Elizabeth again, and she handed me a rose with Mickey hot glued to one of the petals. She said she bought it in hopes that she would find me again. She said that my encouragement of the other ladies was inspirational to her, and that she hoped I had an amazing birthday!
Now comes the crazy part. Neither my sister, nor I, brought our cell phones. We decided that our cameras, ipods, gels, tiaras, were enough. So we didn't take them. Massive fail! You see, I had no way of knowing where on the course she was. I contemplated trying to jump on the bus back to the Polynesian and see if I can get to Shades of Green before Kara runs by...but I wasn't sure I would make it, and I didn't know that her husband was going to make it to the finish line. If she actually got to finish, I didn't want her to have no one there waiting for her. Then I didn't know whether to go to the finish line, or wait by the medical tent. I chose middle ground. I stood by the exit to the baggage check for the section where Kara's bag was checked, and rotated between watching the baggage check exit and the jumbo-tron of the finish line. Then I realized I was so tired, that I didn't even know what my sister was wearing to run. This is not good with over 15,000 people crossing the finish line. I had finally stood there for so long, the cop started talking to me, and the volunteer working there was going to walk me to the medical tent. I had told this volunteer that I was concerned because Kara had bad knees, and I was concerned that she was in the medical tent. You see, I had seen numerous people come by saying, "I just got a call that my wife/mother/sister is in the medical tent." I knew Kara didn't have her cell phone and I didn't have mine. I also knew I hadn't seen my brother-in-law, the kids or my mom, so I was the only person there to be there for her if she needed someone or something. As the volunteer took me toward the medical tent, I heard my name get yelled out. I know, there were over 15,000 people there, but not many were krista's. (Okay, I just checked, there were 30 Krista's that finished, and at least 1 that didn't.) Also, I caught the bus back to the Polynesian while my sister got more ice for her knees and went looking for a "lost and found" since she had chucked her jacket on teh side of the road and forgotten to take off her Garmin before doing so, and was hoping someone had found it and turned it in. I mentioned to the genglemen around me, there were 3, that I was impressed by their willingness to wear tutus and skirts, because I was 100% certain that even if I got my husband to run the race, we had a better chance of seeing Satan selling snow cones than seeing him in a tutu or a skirt. Prince Lance, who was wearing a smashing white skirt with different colored heart on it, talked to me on the bus, and even on the walk all the way back to Shades of Green. He was a nice, guy, from Northern California, an Engineer, much like my husband. He told me that he didn't know that he would be back next year, but he was going to look at the results for a Krista from NC who finished the race next year, and he hoped he would see my name. Well, Prince Lance, from northern CA, you will see my name, I WILL FINISH!
All this is to say, that I had fun, even if I didn't finish. So, I have already started planning for next year. I have made a training calendar for next year. I customized it through shutterfly.com.
I will be doing a half marathon here in NC in November. I will be doing the Battleship half marathon, the purpose of which is to do another half marathon and complete it before heading back to Disney. I will be hoping to finish it in under 2 1/2 hours, so that I can get a really good corral for next year's Princess Half Marathon. I believe that with a 2 1/2 hour finish time at the Battleship half marathon, I would be in Corral C or D, which, if the princess is as large as it was this year, I would have corrals E, F, G and H behind me. That is 30 minutes between me and the balloon ladies at the very start...maybe more. And the time limit is 3 1/2 hours, so I would beat those mean old heffers by a whole hour.
This has been an amazing learning experience for me, one that I will never forget! I will never again set myself up to fail in this way. So While I originally started this blog to document my weightloss journey, I'm instead going to start to focus on working out and getting healthier, and weightloss will hopefully be a collateral response to my half marathon training. I am going on record now and saying that my current weight is 257 pounds, but my weight won't be mentioned on the blog again until next year's Princess half marathon re-cap. Rather than focusing on a number on the scale, I intend to focus on my training plan, and making it to all of my workouts.
Let me say this first, if anyone knows how to put on an amazing run, it is Disney! Let me explain, but I'm getting ahead of myself, I need to go back and start at the beginning of my day. It all started at the unGodly hour of 2:15 in the morning, as we had to get up and get ready, we were meeting in the lobby of Shades of Green to walk over to the Polynesian and catch the bus to the race start. It is almost a mile walk from SOG to the Poly, but we met some amazingly awesome girls on the way. I was given glow sticks and even a little wand by one of the other princesses. Here's Kara and I on the bus...still half asleep, but ridiculously excited for what was ahead of us!
We got to Epcot and climbed off the bus and began the hike to the baggage check.
Once we got to the Corrals, it rapidly became apparent that while my adrenaline was taking over, I didn't have a snowball's chance of finishing this. There's pessimism, and there is reality, this was reality. I had sabotaged myself yet again, I hadn't done what I needed to do to be successful. Same old pattern, just a new endeavor. Well, that is the VERY LAST time that this will be my reality. My plan was a good one, I would do my best, and if/when the dreaded balloon ladies met me, I would become their new best friend.
Let me explain; there are 2 ladies that are the pace line. They cross the start line with the last person in corral H and the maintain a 16minute/mile pace which is the minimum acceptable pace for the half marathon. I knew they would catch me, I just didn't think it would happen so quickly. Within a few minutes of starting the race, I realized that even though I had been in the front line of Corral H at the start line, I was getting passed like I was standing still. I started to cry about half a mile in because I knew that I wasn't going to make it and it was the loneliest feeling. How could a person feel lonely around 20,000+ other runners, and the answer is, it is definitely possible. Between mile markers 1 and 2, the dreaded balloon ladies passed me. They were amazingly supportive, cheered me on, and coached me to try to keep up with them, but my body just wouldn't go any faster. It wasn't long before I had a guy on a bike pedal up next to me and say, "Excuse me, Princess Krista, are you aware of the pacing requirements?" Understand, my bib said, "Princess Krista" on it, that's how he knew my name. I explained that yes, I was aware of the requirements. He told me I needed to catch up with the balloon ladies before the next mile marker. Then a medic came along on a bike, asking if I was ok. I had been crying for about a mile now, because my reality had set in, and I was definitely not going to finish. I kept telling the guy on the bike and the medics that I was physically fine, just emotionally/mentally demoralized. That was really the only explanation for the tears, and they just wouldn't stop falling! I had lost sight of the balloon ladies, but I wasn't going to give up. At this point I heard a lady behind me crying, and heard her friend say, "I love you, but I have to go, don't want to get swept" as she sprinted away. I felt so bad for this lady. I knew how lonely she must feel, because I had felt it since my sister went to start in Corral G and left me in Corral H. Don't get me wrong, I knew my sister needed to go run her own race, and I respect her for doing so, I just felt very alone. I turned around to talk to this woman, whose name escapes me at the moment. She was participating as a part of "Team in Training" and even the coaches for Team in Training had left her. I tried to encourage her, but as I turned back around, I saw the bus along the side of the road start to move and park across the road. My heart sank. I had hoped I would get caught up before mile 2 and get to at least complete 3 miles, but that just wasn't in the cards. Well, my sister always says, "Dead freaking last is better than did not finish. Did not finish is better than did not start. Did not start is better than did not try." I got on the bus, and I rationalized that "Even Cinderella had to catch a coach to the ball." There were 5 of us in the back of the bus, all a bit heavier than most. The lady who I had been talking to that had cried the majority of the last part of the race, told us that her father had said to her, "You'll never finish, why are you even going to try?" Another girl had had double pneumonia and severe food poisoning leading to hospitalization less than a week before. There was another girl on the bus, dressed as Belle, who said, "Well, I made it 2 miles this year, maybe next year I'll only make it 4, but I'll be here, and I'll be doing everything I can to finish or at least improve!" Her name was Elizabeth, from Miami, and she was amazing! She was so positive while being surrounded by the 3 of us who were bawling. The Disney employee on the bus said, "Well, the good news is, we're going to take you to the finish line, you'll get off the bus and get your medal, and no one will be any the wiser."
This is what our coach looked like:
When I stood up to get off the bus, I could barely walk. My foot/ankle were in horrible pain, and I could barely move. It was bad enough that the finish line medic sat me down and gave me 1000mg of tylenol to help with the pain before he handed me my medal. A few minutes later I ran into Elizabeth again, and she handed me a rose with Mickey hot glued to one of the petals. She said she bought it in hopes that she would find me again. She said that my encouragement of the other ladies was inspirational to her, and that she hoped I had an amazing birthday!
Now comes the crazy part. Neither my sister, nor I, brought our cell phones. We decided that our cameras, ipods, gels, tiaras, were enough. So we didn't take them. Massive fail! You see, I had no way of knowing where on the course she was. I contemplated trying to jump on the bus back to the Polynesian and see if I can get to Shades of Green before Kara runs by...but I wasn't sure I would make it, and I didn't know that her husband was going to make it to the finish line. If she actually got to finish, I didn't want her to have no one there waiting for her. Then I didn't know whether to go to the finish line, or wait by the medical tent. I chose middle ground. I stood by the exit to the baggage check for the section where Kara's bag was checked, and rotated between watching the baggage check exit and the jumbo-tron of the finish line. Then I realized I was so tired, that I didn't even know what my sister was wearing to run. This is not good with over 15,000 people crossing the finish line. I had finally stood there for so long, the cop started talking to me, and the volunteer working there was going to walk me to the medical tent. I had told this volunteer that I was concerned because Kara had bad knees, and I was concerned that she was in the medical tent. You see, I had seen numerous people come by saying, "I just got a call that my wife/mother/sister is in the medical tent." I knew Kara didn't have her cell phone and I didn't have mine. I also knew I hadn't seen my brother-in-law, the kids or my mom, so I was the only person there to be there for her if she needed someone or something. As the volunteer took me toward the medical tent, I heard my name get yelled out. I know, there were over 15,000 people there, but not many were krista's. (Okay, I just checked, there were 30 Krista's that finished, and at least 1 that didn't.) Also, I caught the bus back to the Polynesian while my sister got more ice for her knees and went looking for a "lost and found" since she had chucked her jacket on teh side of the road and forgotten to take off her Garmin before doing so, and was hoping someone had found it and turned it in. I mentioned to the genglemen around me, there were 3, that I was impressed by their willingness to wear tutus and skirts, because I was 100% certain that even if I got my husband to run the race, we had a better chance of seeing Satan selling snow cones than seeing him in a tutu or a skirt. Prince Lance, who was wearing a smashing white skirt with different colored heart on it, talked to me on the bus, and even on the walk all the way back to Shades of Green. He was a nice, guy, from Northern California, an Engineer, much like my husband. He told me that he didn't know that he would be back next year, but he was going to look at the results for a Krista from NC who finished the race next year, and he hoped he would see my name. Well, Prince Lance, from northern CA, you will see my name, I WILL FINISH!
All this is to say, that I had fun, even if I didn't finish. So, I have already started planning for next year. I have made a training calendar for next year. I customized it through shutterfly.com.
I will be doing a half marathon here in NC in November. I will be doing the Battleship half marathon, the purpose of which is to do another half marathon and complete it before heading back to Disney. I will be hoping to finish it in under 2 1/2 hours, so that I can get a really good corral for next year's Princess Half Marathon. I believe that with a 2 1/2 hour finish time at the Battleship half marathon, I would be in Corral C or D, which, if the princess is as large as it was this year, I would have corrals E, F, G and H behind me. That is 30 minutes between me and the balloon ladies at the very start...maybe more. And the time limit is 3 1/2 hours, so I would beat those mean old heffers by a whole hour.
This has been an amazing learning experience for me, one that I will never forget! I will never again set myself up to fail in this way. So While I originally started this blog to document my weightloss journey, I'm instead going to start to focus on working out and getting healthier, and weightloss will hopefully be a collateral response to my half marathon training. I am going on record now and saying that my current weight is 257 pounds, but my weight won't be mentioned on the blog again until next year's Princess half marathon re-cap. Rather than focusing on a number on the scale, I intend to focus on my training plan, and making it to all of my workouts.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Epiphany of all Epiphanies!
Tonight I got smacked in the face with a realization that has never really computed before.
First, I saw the following quote on a friend of mine's facebook page,
First, I saw the following quote on a friend of mine's facebook page,
"Love yourself. Accept yourself. Forgive yourself and be good to yourself because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things. - Leonardo Buscaglia" Thank you for posting this Andrea Canady Logan!!!
Then, this evening, I spent hours talking to and connecting with some women who I used to work with when I was teaching. It felt so awesome to be interacting with them and catching up! I hadn't seen one of them since I quit teaching in April, and I really enjoyed talking to her!
You see, I came home from my evening with friends and had to "text or facebook" the host when I got here because it was after midnight and she wanted to be sure I had made it home safely. I got online to do that and began chatting with another person who I had the privilige of getting to know as a colleague, who has also since left the teaching profession. After chatting with her for a while, I went over to check into another online group that I have been in contact with for years. All of a sudden it hit me. I have been so far unplugged from my life because I've been too damn busy being plugged in to all the little technological devices that our amazing world has invented. It seems I can't go a day without checking my 4 e-mail addresses, facebook, twitter, and other online connection groups. As a result of all of this online social networking, I've not been the wife or mother that my husband and children deserve, or, quite frankly, that Krista that I deserve!!
So, here's the plan to test this theory I have come up with. It seems to me that if my life became so fragmented and unplugged when all these little techology decided were added into it, that removing some of them will free up a lot of time to get myself back on track and where I want to be as a person. So, from now, until further notice, I will only allow myself to be on facebook or twitter, text or online at all, for that matter, during the hours that I am at work. I will allow myself to blog each evening about this before I go to bed, which means, no computers, or cell phones or anything from the time I pull into my driveway, until I get ready for bed, typically around 11:00 in the evening. When I log on in the evening, I will be limiting myself to checking the weather for the following day and updating my blog. I am going to dedicate myself to getting healthy both physically and mentally in the new year. Time to unplug all the stupid technology, and plug back into who I am as a person, and who I have always wanted to be.
I am going to keep this commitment until June 1 of 2012, and hold myself accountable. I can't say that I will "try" because as I have heard more times than I can count, thank you yoda, "There is no try, there is only DO!" Trying gives one permission to fail, and seeing as how I've perfected that little manuever, it's time to perfect a new one....succeeding!!!!
Good bye, Krista of 1975-2011, Welcome, Krista of 2012 and beyond!!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Detour on my journey to health and fitness...this one is for self discovery!
Wow—where have the last 18 days gone? Well, I can say, that the school prep here in the Blackburn household is a bit crazy and off-the-charts. 3 children in some version of school makes me want to cringe. Justin has started 2nd grade and LOVES his teacher, Mrs. Turner. Ada Ada
Thanks to all of the craziness, the exercise plan has kind of fallen by the way side, but I am back on track now, and will be staying there. I went to Body Combat today, and it felt AMAZING! I have to say, that a few weeks away from the workout routine means that I had some serious difficulty keeping up. I should have used my inhaler, but didn’t, so now I’ve got that asthmatic cough/wheeze going on. It’ll be good by tomorrow morning, just in time for me to go to Body Pump at 5:15 a.m. and dance class tomorrow night.
Now is the fun part….I had no idea that a journey to health and fitness would take me down a road so fraught with self-discovery. See, here’s the thing, I know for sure that I have spent way too much time, the majority of my 36 years making decisions based on what would make those around me the least offended. I have never really known who I was for the most part, and when I have, I refused to follow what I wanted unless I had approval from the other people in my life. Of course, there was the stereo-typical boyfriend the parents didn’t love and I didn’t break up with him, but I’m talking about more serious issues here. I have come to the stark realization that 36 years of living this way has left me incredibly confused, depressed at times, and frequently lost and misunderstood by the people in my life. I was once told I was flakey because I tended to start things and not finish them. This is very true, but this has been a personality flaw of mine. You see, I may not have ever wanted to do whatever it was I started and once the hype of the folks in my life past, I walked away since I never intended to be involved from the beginning. Other times, I started something I wanted to do, but ran into loud objections from the people in my life so stopped those things because I didn’t have the support of those around me. I have let this be such a huge part of my life, that I actually remember a time in college when I bought a pair of boots that I ABSOLUTELY LOVED! I was so proud, and loved them so much. A family member, and my boyfriend at the time both were very vocal about how much they disliked them, and couldn’t believe that I did. I was told that they “weren’t me” etc. Believe it or not, I actually returned the boots that I loved so much because of the disapproval I had encountered. How ridiculous is this? Well, it is time that I grow up and start living MY life. The life that I want to live, and following my heart. In that vein, I have registered for dance classes for the first time in about 20 years. I will be taking Liturgical and Jazz on Monday nights. I am starting my master’s degree in the fall, in middle grades math, and I even went and got my nose pierced the other day. Why? Simply because I wanted to. I have wanted to for a long time, but again, didn’t due to the objections of some of the people in my life.
So, I’m at the point where I’m half way through my year of health and fitness that I promised myself. I said that for my 36th birthday I was going to give myself a healthy lifestyle, and get my weight to where I wanted it before my 37th birthday. I’m half way through the year, and currently have only lost 20 pounds of the 120 I wanted to lose. (If you are thinking that I had lost more than that, you are right, but I’ve gained 6 pounds back at this point.) I am back on the horse, and going to be very serious about this life choice because I refuse to spend another year of my life miserable, disappointed in myself, and uncomfortable every time I see myself in the mirror.
Thanks for reading!
Krista
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