Recovery Time

Okay--so I totally underestimated the recovery time for the procedure I had on Thursday.  It appears that I will be out of commission for the next 3 weeks.  That's okay, because that is going to give me some time to really focus on my eating for the next 3 weeks.  I am also seriously considering trying to start a "support group" of sorts here locally for bigger folks, like my size, that would be candidates for Biggest Loser.  I know how intimidating it is to take that first step when there is nothing but "skinny" people on the other side of the gym door.  I am going to be contacting some of the local gyms to see if any of them would be willing to "Sponsor" a Biggest Loser FV type of thing for us.  I feel like a local group of people who can support and hold each other accountable would be invaluable.  I am going to go audition for BL in a couple of weeks, but either way, I feel led to do something like this in the local area.  The likelihood of me getting onto the show is pretty slim, so why not be a community of support for others like me in this area?  I know people who have done this and been successful without making it to the ranch.  My buddy Chris Pederson has lost about 120 pounds on his own and is looking svelte and amazing.  I also know of another guy, Justin, who has lost over 200 pounds by himself.  I have never done anything like this before, but feel very convicted that it is something I need to do.  If anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it!

Krista

Resolve...

So, I have had a few set-backs, most of them mental, but I have to find the resolve to meet my goals.  I have consistently, in the past, set myself up to fail, I guess because I was afraid of success, or maybe didn't feel worthy of it.  I'm really not sure what the reason is that I sabatoge myself constantly, but I need to fake it till I make it, and Stop That Crap!!

I sat down at lunch today and figured out that if I start training today, I will barely have enough time to complete the Couch to 5k plan before the Diva on May 20.  I have worked all year in a dance class, and recital is June 3, so I won't be able to have the surgery until after that.  (I've worked too hard all year to miss that, even if I will feel/look old up there on stage.) 

So here's how the schedule looks for me....

Couch to 5k training starts tonight, and will be finished on May 20 when I do the Diva 5k in Myrtle Beach.  I will continue to run weekly until surgery, which I am going to try to schedule for June 4. 

Surgery June 4, or sometime that week.

4 weeks to recover lets me start my Half Marathon training program on the week of July 2 for the Battleship Half Marathon on November 4.

Immediately "start" the training program over again to speed myself up and continue to build endurance again on the week of November 5, which will give me enough time to get completely through the program with a few weeks to spare for the Princess Half Marathon on February 24, 2012. 

Here's to a good year of training. 

I am also doing Weight Watchers online to work on my eating habits, and will be swimming on the days I don't run, as well as doing some resistance training to work on my lean muscle to help my body burn off some of this fat.  In a perfect world I would be at my goal weight by the Princess Half next year...but we're just going to bust butt, and make sure we can get there, injury free, and finish it this year.  I WILL NOT be catching a bus to the finish line next year!!

It is time....Past time!

I have spent years saying that I wanted to lose weight, but until now, have never said, "I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT".  I am planning on exercising, doing the couch to 5k plan, followed by half marathon training plan, and a Battleship half marathon in November, then recovering, and working toward the Princess Half Marathon. 

Well, the fact is, much like a car requires gas and service to run, and operate correctly, my body needs the right fuel and maintenance to do what it needs to do.  The more crap I put into it, the more gunked up the system becomes.  It is time to start feeding my body what it needs, to help it do what it is God has made it to do. 

In that vein, I will be embarking on several small changes, one at a time, until my entire food lifestyle (identity) has been transformed into one that is more healthy and appropriate for fueling my body.  To that end, step 1 will be to eliminate sweet tea and any and all soda.  I will only be drinking water, hot tea and black coffee.  I will not add another change unless and until, this change is no longer a struggle. 

The next steps will be to move toward a lean/clean diet.  Fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, low fat meats, etc.  The less processed I can find things, the better.  Processing things adds extra work for the body to process as well, and typically, adds a lot of things like gluten to them.  I am realizing that on the PINK diet, with all of the unprocessed foods, I had a lot more energy and felt much better.  The thing is, it was a VERY drastic change all at once, and was difficult to maintain.  I'm planning on working toward a food lifestyle that is very similar to the PINK diet, but doing it gradually, so my body has time to adjust as I remove things from my diet slowly.

My dream is the wish my heart made....to finish the Princess Half Marathon, 2013!!

Detour on my journey to health and fitness...this one is for self discovery!

Wow—where have the last 18 days gone?  Well, I can say, that the school prep here in the Blackburn household is a bit crazy and off-the-charts.  3 children in some version of school makes me want to cringe.  Justin has started 2^nd grade and LOVES his teacher, Mrs. Turner.  Ada went to Kindergarten testing last Thursday, but we won’t know who her teacher is until tomorrow or Tuesday.  Ella has the same 2 year old teachers that Ada had, and I love them so much.  Miss Pam and Miss Margot are unparalleled when it comes to loving children that they didn’t give birth to.  I have already warned them of Ella’s feisty attitude and behavior, and just hope that they aren’t driven to drink and require rehab before the end of the year. 

Thanks to all of the craziness, the exercise plan has kind of fallen by the way side, but I am back on track now, and will be staying there.  I went to Body Combat today, and it felt AMAZING!  I have to say, that a few weeks away from the workout routine means that I had some serious difficulty keeping up.  I should have used my inhaler, but didn’t, so now I’ve got that asthmatic cough/wheeze going on.  It’ll be good by tomorrow morning, just in time for me to go to Body Pump at 5:15 a.m. and dance class tomorrow night. 

Now is the fun part….I had no idea that a journey to health and fitness would take me down a road so fraught with self-discovery.  See, here’s the thing, I know for sure that I have spent way too much time, the majority of my 36 years making decisions based on what would make those around me the least offended.  I have never really known who I was for the most part, and when I have, I refused to follow what I wanted unless I had approval from the other people in my life.  Of course, there was the stereo-typical boyfriend the parents didn’t love and I didn’t break up with him, but I’m talking about more serious issues here.  I have come to the stark realization that 36 years of living this way has left me incredibly confused, depressed at times, and frequently lost and misunderstood by the people in my life.  I was once told I was flakey because I tended to start things and not finish them.  This is very true, but this has been a personality flaw of mine.  You see, I may not have ever wanted to do whatever it was I started and once the hype of the folks in my life past, I walked away since I never intended to be involved from the beginning.  Other times, I started something I wanted to do, but ran into loud objections from the people in my life so stopped those things because I didn’t have the support of those around me.  I have let this be such a huge part of my life, that I actually remember a time in college when I bought a pair of boots that I ABSOLUTELY LOVED!  I was so proud, and loved them so much.  A family member, and my boyfriend at the time both were very vocal about how much they disliked them, and couldn’t believe that I did.  I was told that they “weren’t me” etc.  Believe it or not, I actually returned the boots that I loved so much because of the disapproval I had encountered.  How ridiculous is this?  Well, it is time that I grow up and start living MY life.  The life that I want to live, and following my heart.  In that vein, I have registered for dance classes for the first time in about 20 years.  I will be taking Liturgical and Jazz on Monday nights.  I am starting my master’s degree in the fall, in middle grades math, and I even went and got my nose pierced the other day.  Why?  Simply because I wanted to.  I have wanted to for a long time, but again, didn’t due to the objections of some of the people in my life. 

So, I’m at the point where I’m half way through my year of health and fitness that I promised myself. I said that for my 36^th birthday I was going to give myself a healthy lifestyle, and get my weight to where I wanted it before my 37^th birthday.  I’m half way through the year, and currently have only lost 20 pounds of the 120 I wanted to lose.  (If you are thinking that I had lost more than that, you are right, but I’ve gained 6 pounds back at this point.)  I am back on the horse, and going to be very serious about this life choice because I refuse to spend another year of my life miserable, disappointed in myself, and uncomfortable every time I see myself in the mirror. 

Thanks for reading!

Krista

Day 1

Okay---let's try this again.  The fact of the matter is, I have slacked off to a point that I am just NOT happy with what is going on with my body.  I have allowed myself to slip back into my really bad eating habits, and habits of laziness, lounging, etc.  TOday is day 1 of this journey....AGAIN!  I didn't eat all that great today, but we did make it to the gym this evening for our appointment with Joan (a personal trainer at the gym).  Joan showed Barney and I quite a few exercises that we can do together, and things that we can do alternating sets with the other.  I am already feeling it, and will feel it even more tomorrow, I am sure.  I think the most devastating part of today was that she used calipers to determine my body fat percentage, rather than the silly little maching that you hold out in front of you after entering your age, sex, height and weight.  According to the measurements she did today, I am currently at a body-fat percentage of 40.8.  UGH!!!  Not a good feeling, and definitely NOT a comfortable number to hear.  I have a VERY long way to go, and I will get there, no matter how many hurdles I have to jump over or obstacles I have to climb.  I will make it through this! 

A wonderful friend of mine (Thanks Chris) told me this weekend that he felt like I had an awesome heart and drive, and I just needed to get my head and body in agreement with my heart.  That's the thing...It isn't that my head and body don't necessarily agree with my heart, they do, it is because I have some very ugly tapes that play in my head on a daily, if not hourly basis.  I have to fight through the fact that every single minute of the day I tell myself that I don't deserve to be healthy, I don't deserve to be thin.  The biggest obstacle for me to overcome is going to be that negative self-talk.  If anyone knows any wonderful remedies for this, I'd love to hear them. 

As of now, my plan is simply to fake it until I make it.  I'm going to go to the gym at least 4 or 5 times a week, I'm going to attend classes and work out with my husband.  I am going to attend weight watchers and write down every single bite I put into my mouth.  I will be successful at this as I have been in many other aspects of my life.  Most-importantly, I am going to do my very best to be as gently with myself when I have small failures as I would be with anyone else that I love and am friends with.  I have found that I hold myself to a much higher standard than I do others in my life.  I forgive others far sooner than I forgive myself and that really isn't fair to me. 

You will notice that I entitled this post "Day 1".  I am doing this as a way of keeping myself accountable.  Please keep me on my toes, and if I don't post, feel free to ask me how my day went.  I am hoping to make posts on a daily basis....

So...the journey continues.