So, I didn't make it to the gym as much as I wanted to. I was home with a sick child with Strep Throat and a fever for 3 straight days. She was so sick, that I let her stay at home while I ran the other 2 to school. She said it hurt to lift her head up off the pillow.
I did, however, make it to CrossFit F-V yesterday to get in my CrossFit Games 16.1 workout. I have to say, that with no cartilage in my left knee, walking lunges are a NIGHTMARE!!! Also, as my first full WOD in over 2 years, it was brutal. My knee, Quads and Glutes are SCREAMING at me today, and my arms and shoulders are whining fairly loudly. I'll be back this week, to get more workouts in....and next weekend for 16.2.
I've done a lot of changing since I started this blog, and I've actually started to find the woman I always hoped I would be. I wanted to love myself enough to do my makeup before I left the house. Not because I needed to attract some guy (the reason I USED to wear makeup) but because I enjoyed looking nice.
Me wearing makeup is not a sign of my insecurity, it's actually because I've found the woman I was always meant to be. I enjoy being a girl, just as much as I enjoy lifting heavy weights and sweating it out at the gym. I know that I am a walking contradiction. I love sports, watching UFC and love college football. I remember watching the Tyson-Spinks fight with my uncle when I was in middle school. I also like dressing up, looking cute, and all that that being a girly girl means. I run in skirts, and I want my sports bra to match my outfit. I'm proud of the fact that I can currently dead lift 165# and that I was once able to dead lift 225#.
I used to think that lifting weights, going to CrossFit, etc, made me less of a woman. That people would view me as a tomboy. Fact is, I am ME! and I like the me that I am. I like that I can talk about sports with my husband. I like that I can work my butt off in the gym, then come home, take a shower and put on a dress. We don't have to fit into a box that someone has decided makes us "girly" or a "Tomboy". We can do what we love and define who we are as WE want to.
So, this is me. I'm a CrossFitter, I'm a Younique Presenter, I love Makeup, I love sports, and I love Jewelry. I can be all these things, without apology, because that is who I am....and I'm never going to apologize for being ME!
Be who you are, Love who you are, Accept who you are. If you can't, then no one else will either.
Krista
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Back to the GYM!!
Tomorrow is the day!
I was traveling last week, and I've gained a bit more weight.
I'm up 21 pounds from my lowest since I had my surgery....and 18 pounds from what I weighed consistently for 18 months, until my Nana passed.
So--Here's my goal:
Monday, Wednesday and Friday I will be at Club Worx for a WOD and some cardio work.
Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I will be run/walking.
Depending on how my run/walks go on Tuesday and Thursday, I MAY go to CrossFit on those days as well.
Next weekend, the CrossFit Games Open begins, and I am registered.
I've got work to do....and it ain't gonna happen sitting in my house.
Time to get shit done!
As of today, 193.8
Goal around 150
Let's get it done!
krista
I was traveling last week, and I've gained a bit more weight.
I'm up 21 pounds from my lowest since I had my surgery....and 18 pounds from what I weighed consistently for 18 months, until my Nana passed.
So--Here's my goal:
Monday, Wednesday and Friday I will be at Club Worx for a WOD and some cardio work.
Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I will be run/walking.
Depending on how my run/walks go on Tuesday and Thursday, I MAY go to CrossFit on those days as well.
Next weekend, the CrossFit Games Open begins, and I am registered.
I've got work to do....and it ain't gonna happen sitting in my house.
Time to get shit done!
As of today, 193.8
Goal around 150
Let's get it done!
krista
Saturday, February 13, 2016
5 year blog-iversary
5 years ago, I started this blog, as a form of accountability for myself on my weightloss journey. Read my original post here.
In that 5 years, my life has changed dramatically!
I have become a triathlete.
I have attempted 8 half marathons, and finished 2.
I have competed in a CrossFit competition.
I have had Gastric Sleeve surgery, which has helped me lose 95#.
I have started to gain some of that weight back, and am back up to 190# (Still down 80#)
I've auditioned twice for The Biggest Loser, twice.
I have been brutally honest about my mental state, and how it feels to be me.
I have learned SO much about who I am as a woman, a wife, and a mother.
I have grown personally, and shrunk physically.
I have shared my journey, and a lot of you have been here since day 1.
I have been supported by my family every step of the way. My amazing husband has held my hand while I cried and encouraged me every step of the way. My kids have graciously forgotten what I looked like at my heaviest and swear that the pictures that I have of me "then" can't possibly be me.
My life has changed in more ways that I would have even thought possible. I have had the help and encouragement of some amazing people along the way--Andrea Logan, Rachael Brown, Amy Smith, Jennifer VanAlstine, Michelle Bordeaux, Cassandra Reyes, Michele, Sarah and Sarah have all been amazing and supportive throughout this process.
I've been inspired by Cambrey Fuller, Jen Widerstrom, Dolvett Quince, Bob Harper, Chris and Heidi Powell. Watching people take control and transform their lives has inspired me, even at my worst to never give up. Why do I still watch, The Biggest Loser, Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition and My 600 Pound Life? Those people inspire me endlessly. They have allowed cameras to follow their journey in a very public way. They have put themselves "out there" in a way far more public than I have with my measly little blog.
What's up next? I'm back to Cross-Fit. I finished my foundations class on Thursday, and will be getting back to the box to get my booty working out again. When my Nana entered the hospital in December, she told me she was concerned about me, because it looked like I was gaining weight again. I had only gained back 3 or 4 pounds at that point, but now, I'm up a total of 18 from my lowest weight since my WLS. It's time to get it back, get the scale moving in the right direction again. I have 2 goals with CrossFit and the remainder of my Weight Loss/Life journey. I'd really like to be fit enough to no longer require Spanx. In all, if I had to pick a number, I'd like to lose about another 40# from where I am today, which is 190#.
In that 5 years, my life has changed dramatically!
I have become a triathlete.
I have attempted 8 half marathons, and finished 2.
I have competed in a CrossFit competition.
I have had Gastric Sleeve surgery, which has helped me lose 95#.
I have started to gain some of that weight back, and am back up to 190# (Still down 80#)
I've auditioned twice for The Biggest Loser, twice.
I have been brutally honest about my mental state, and how it feels to be me.
I have learned SO much about who I am as a woman, a wife, and a mother.
I have grown personally, and shrunk physically.
I have shared my journey, and a lot of you have been here since day 1.
I have been supported by my family every step of the way. My amazing husband has held my hand while I cried and encouraged me every step of the way. My kids have graciously forgotten what I looked like at my heaviest and swear that the pictures that I have of me "then" can't possibly be me.
My life has changed in more ways that I would have even thought possible. I have had the help and encouragement of some amazing people along the way--Andrea Logan, Rachael Brown, Amy Smith, Jennifer VanAlstine, Michelle Bordeaux, Cassandra Reyes, Michele, Sarah and Sarah have all been amazing and supportive throughout this process.
I've been inspired by Cambrey Fuller, Jen Widerstrom, Dolvett Quince, Bob Harper, Chris and Heidi Powell. Watching people take control and transform their lives has inspired me, even at my worst to never give up. Why do I still watch, The Biggest Loser, Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition and My 600 Pound Life? Those people inspire me endlessly. They have allowed cameras to follow their journey in a very public way. They have put themselves "out there" in a way far more public than I have with my measly little blog.
What's up next? I'm back to Cross-Fit. I finished my foundations class on Thursday, and will be getting back to the box to get my booty working out again. When my Nana entered the hospital in December, she told me she was concerned about me, because it looked like I was gaining weight again. I had only gained back 3 or 4 pounds at that point, but now, I'm up a total of 18 from my lowest weight since my WLS. It's time to get it back, get the scale moving in the right direction again. I have 2 goals with CrossFit and the remainder of my Weight Loss/Life journey. I'd really like to be fit enough to no longer require Spanx. In all, if I had to pick a number, I'd like to lose about another 40# from where I am today, which is 190#.
 |
| The awesome running support group that I love so much--From Left to right, Jennifer, Stacey, Julie and Rachael. (The dude is the tattoo artist that did all of our tattoos this past July) |
 |
| My awesome friend Rachael. She inspires me, and keeps me going. I love her for how amazing she is. |
 |
| Truth be told---when I lay down and the extra skin falls to the side, rather than standing up--things look a whole lot better. |
 |
| Anniversary dinner with my hubby |
 |
| Me, Jennifer and Michelle--2 of my favorite people! |
 |
| The morning of my Weight Loss Surgery |
 |
| The morning of my Weight Loss Surgery |
 |
| Me, My Sister and Denise Carter. One of the most badass women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. |
 |
| Me and Ali Vincent--the first female winner of The Biggest Loser. She is so amazing and genuine. |
 |
| This is what I looked like after completing 4 WODs in one day at my one and only CrossFit Competition. I think I want to go back to this same Competition in 2017 to see how different if feels at a much healthier weight. The girls from my box were AMAZING and supportive. One of them even submitted me to Women of CrossFit. I was honored to work out with and know these ladies! |
 |
| When all else fails, and you don't want to---you scrunch up your face and pull as hard as you can to make sure you don't get no-repped. |
 |
| My original CrossFit coaches, Tyler and Andrea. I'm so glad that Andrea kept asking me "When will you let me help you?" If she hadn't persisted, I would never have tried, and fallen in love with CrossFit. |
 |
| I became a Triathlete |
 |
| Finished my 1st Half Marathon. 3:25:23. Almost 4 minutes ahead of the cut-off time. So proud. I cried for the last half mile. |
 |
| I got to meet Running Royalty. That's Meb Keflezighi, winner of the 2014 Boston Marathon |
 |
| My awesome family--though it's a few years old. I LOVE my husband and kids. |
 |
| Immediately after surgery. The bruises are from my incision sites. |
 |
| This past spring. I bought this bikini to wear to the beach for Mother's Day weekend. It ain't perfect, but it's a damn site better than where I started. |
 |
| This was just after finishing my 2nd half marathon. It was July, in Chicago and was BRUTALLY hot. It was about 90* and super humid. People were dropping like flies all over the 2nd half of the course. There were med tents with kiddie pools full of ice and water, soaking those wash clothes I'm holding/wearing in my picture. This was the hardest race EVER, so proud I could finish it. |
Sunday, November 8, 2015
UGH----DNF's suck
I went out today to run the Battleship Half Marathon. This should have been my redemption from 3 years ago when I believe the police officer at mile 12.5 when he said I had another mile and a half and got in his car to have him drive me to the finish line.
Back in September, I had participated in the Student/Staff basketball game. Unfortunately, playing basketball with 12 year olds, when you are 40, just isn't the best idea, and I did something to my knee. I went and had it checked out and the doctor said there was nothing wrong with it. It has been swelling off and on ever since. I messed it up again last week at intramurals with the kids.
As soon as I started to run today, literally, the first running step, my knee started hurting. It hurt so bad in the first mile that I stopped and seriously considered turning around at the 5k turn-around and just doing the 5k. I literally said out loud, 'Not today....today you are NOT giving up!" I kept on cruising, keeping my intervals going.
I was doing OK and super happy to see that the course had changed enough since I ran it 3 years ago, and no right turn onto the street with cobblestones. Sadly, the turn was just delayed, and we still had to turn and run down the cobblestone streets twice. Both of these turns, to get back up to Front Street required a rather large uphill climb.
The climb was so brutal, after a couple of bad steps on the cobblestones, I was just in too much pain to continue.
The frustrating part is that I was on pace to get a PR. Even with the knee pain, I was staying between 14:30 and 14:55 per mile.
While DNF's suck, they are far less painful when you pull yourself to avoid injury than when you get pulled due to inability to maintain the pace. I really think I probably COULD have finished in time today, but I would likely have done more damage to my knee. I have some pretty big racing goals for 2016, none of which include time to recover from knee surgery or a major knee injury.
So, I've had the knee checked out and there is no known injury, just an issue as far as discomfort and inflammation. I'm going to get in some physical Therapy to support my knee and get it healthy and strong. I'm going to be working with my running coach, and starting back as square 1--building slowly. I'm only going to be doing 2 big races in 2016.
I'll be doing RNR Raleigh Half Marathon in April, and then Marine Corps Marathon on October 30, 2016.
Krista
Back in September, I had participated in the Student/Staff basketball game. Unfortunately, playing basketball with 12 year olds, when you are 40, just isn't the best idea, and I did something to my knee. I went and had it checked out and the doctor said there was nothing wrong with it. It has been swelling off and on ever since. I messed it up again last week at intramurals with the kids.
As soon as I started to run today, literally, the first running step, my knee started hurting. It hurt so bad in the first mile that I stopped and seriously considered turning around at the 5k turn-around and just doing the 5k. I literally said out loud, 'Not today....today you are NOT giving up!" I kept on cruising, keeping my intervals going.
I was doing OK and super happy to see that the course had changed enough since I ran it 3 years ago, and no right turn onto the street with cobblestones. Sadly, the turn was just delayed, and we still had to turn and run down the cobblestone streets twice. Both of these turns, to get back up to Front Street required a rather large uphill climb.
The climb was so brutal, after a couple of bad steps on the cobblestones, I was just in too much pain to continue.
The frustrating part is that I was on pace to get a PR. Even with the knee pain, I was staying between 14:30 and 14:55 per mile.
While DNF's suck, they are far less painful when you pull yourself to avoid injury than when you get pulled due to inability to maintain the pace. I really think I probably COULD have finished in time today, but I would likely have done more damage to my knee. I have some pretty big racing goals for 2016, none of which include time to recover from knee surgery or a major knee injury.
So, I've had the knee checked out and there is no known injury, just an issue as far as discomfort and inflammation. I'm going to get in some physical Therapy to support my knee and get it healthy and strong. I'm going to be working with my running coach, and starting back as square 1--building slowly. I'm only going to be doing 2 big races in 2016.
I'll be doing RNR Raleigh Half Marathon in April, and then Marine Corps Marathon on October 30, 2016.
Krista
Monday, October 5, 2015
Where did the last 3 months go?!?!?!
I'm really not sure what happened, or how I have gone 3 months without blogging.
In the last 3 months I have had some additional testing and found that my foot, while not broken, has a bit of arthritis. I asked the doctor if that meant I should quit running, to which he said, "No, the health of your heart is far more important than a bit of pain in your foot." He told me to keep doing what I've been doing, keep my heart healthy until I just can't handle the pain anymore. Once I get to that point, they will fuse the joint in my foot that has too much wiggle-room. In the meantime, I am going to be wearing a pretty heavy-duty brace to support my foot and ankle. In an effort to minimize the pain, I will be using KT Tape/Rock Tape, in addition to my ankle brace and after my long runs, I can take some heavy-duty pain medicine if I need to to minimize the pain.
I have also seen the two year anniversary of my weight loss surgery come and go. I am at this point still stable, and have been for a year, at between 172 and 178. I would still like to lose 30-40 more pounds though. My foot doctor says that doing so will minimize the pain and discomfort in my foot from running. Also, my primary care doctor says that he'd like to see me under 150. Sadly, even having lost 95 pounds, I'm still technically considered obese. In order to be considered just "overweight", I would need to get to 164, less than I weighed when I graduated high school.
I have been doing a great deal of research and everything seems to indicate that to get the scale moving down again, I need to up my cardio.
I also am honest enough to admit that I have gotten comfortable again and allowed myself to fall back into some not so productive habits, primarily, drinking sweet tea, coffee, and eating some carbs again. I know that I need to "re-set" my taste buds again to get out of these habits. I have some of my protein shakes I used to drink regularly, and I'm seriously considering going back to my "pre-operative diet" where I had protein shakes 2x/day, and a healthy dinner with protein and veggies. Once I've re-set myself, I'm seriously thinking of working on doing the "Whole 30" diet. I know that I need to get away from, and stay away from processed crp, and this seems like a decent way to get started down that path.
So--I'm going to be heading to the gym, and working my bootie off. I'm going to be on social media a whole lot less, and at the gym a whole lot more. I still have some big goals, and I'll reach them. It may take a bit longer and hurt a bit more, but I'll get there.
Raleigh, City of Oaks Half Marathon on November 1
May run the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon in March, 2016
Begin Marathon training April of 2016
Run Marine Corps Marathon, October 2015, raising funds for Multiple Sclerosis
If all that goes as planned, and I can get myself in good enough shape, I may tackle the biggest goal I've ever considered in 2017, and attempt the IronMan 70.3 in Raleigh, in June, 2017.
Big dreams require big plans and a TON of training...that doesn't happen sitting on my computer at night.
See ya out there running....
Krista
In the last 3 months I have had some additional testing and found that my foot, while not broken, has a bit of arthritis. I asked the doctor if that meant I should quit running, to which he said, "No, the health of your heart is far more important than a bit of pain in your foot." He told me to keep doing what I've been doing, keep my heart healthy until I just can't handle the pain anymore. Once I get to that point, they will fuse the joint in my foot that has too much wiggle-room. In the meantime, I am going to be wearing a pretty heavy-duty brace to support my foot and ankle. In an effort to minimize the pain, I will be using KT Tape/Rock Tape, in addition to my ankle brace and after my long runs, I can take some heavy-duty pain medicine if I need to to minimize the pain.
I have also seen the two year anniversary of my weight loss surgery come and go. I am at this point still stable, and have been for a year, at between 172 and 178. I would still like to lose 30-40 more pounds though. My foot doctor says that doing so will minimize the pain and discomfort in my foot from running. Also, my primary care doctor says that he'd like to see me under 150. Sadly, even having lost 95 pounds, I'm still technically considered obese. In order to be considered just "overweight", I would need to get to 164, less than I weighed when I graduated high school.
I have been doing a great deal of research and everything seems to indicate that to get the scale moving down again, I need to up my cardio.
I also am honest enough to admit that I have gotten comfortable again and allowed myself to fall back into some not so productive habits, primarily, drinking sweet tea, coffee, and eating some carbs again. I know that I need to "re-set" my taste buds again to get out of these habits. I have some of my protein shakes I used to drink regularly, and I'm seriously considering going back to my "pre-operative diet" where I had protein shakes 2x/day, and a healthy dinner with protein and veggies. Once I've re-set myself, I'm seriously thinking of working on doing the "Whole 30" diet. I know that I need to get away from, and stay away from processed crp, and this seems like a decent way to get started down that path.
So--I'm going to be heading to the gym, and working my bootie off. I'm going to be on social media a whole lot less, and at the gym a whole lot more. I still have some big goals, and I'll reach them. It may take a bit longer and hurt a bit more, but I'll get there.
Raleigh, City of Oaks Half Marathon on November 1
May run the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon in March, 2016
Begin Marathon training April of 2016
Run Marine Corps Marathon, October 2015, raising funds for Multiple Sclerosis
If all that goes as planned, and I can get myself in good enough shape, I may tackle the biggest goal I've ever considered in 2017, and attempt the IronMan 70.3 in Raleigh, in June, 2017.
Big dreams require big plans and a TON of training...that doesn't happen sitting on my computer at night.
See ya out there running....
Krista
Monday, July 20, 2015
Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon, Chicago
This past weekend, I took on a re-match with the Rock 'n Roll Chicago Half marathon. You may remember that last year I Got pulled off the course at mile 8 for being very dehydrated. This year, was a whole different situation, and I'm so proud to share it with you.
On Saturday, we (my running mom friends and I) headed out early for the 5k. It is a pretty simple course, all on sidewalks, through parks, and along Lake Michigan. It is beautiful, partly shaded, but somehow, the windy city hadn't even a breeze to offer us while running along the lake, and I thought for sure I might spontaneously combust. I was imagining myself like a popcorn kernal just exploding at some random time. Instead, I finished my 5k in just over my previous PR time. My average pace for the race was 14:11, for a time of 44:03.
Probably the highlight of my day was when I finished and we headed to the finish line festival, in the hopes of meeting Meb. Meb is the same age as I am, and won the 2014 Boston Marathon in just over 2 hours. That means he ran 26.2 miles in about 2 hours and 9 minutes. Considering that at 2 hours, I'm just over halfway done with a half, he's a flipping speed demon. As you can see on my blog heading, I did indeed meet Meb, and he was SOOO nice! He asked me my name, shook my hand, and genuinely smiled and congratulated me on my 5k.
After the race, we went to Giordano's for some amazing Chicago Deep Dish Pizza. It was delicious!!! After I felt like I had run the 5k in a sauna, I knew that my plan of running in capris on Sunday was a horrible idea, so we headed off to TJ Maxx and I found what was labeled as a Tennis skirt, and a bit shorter than I would normally wear, but it would be cooler than the capris, so I took the risk. We ate dinner at the hotel, and then off to an early bedtime to prepare for the half marathon yesterday. Sitting at dinner, I almost started crying just because the forecast was brutal. I had a panic attack at dinner just thinking about it.
We were up at 5 yesterday morning to prepare for the race. Because I get a nervous tummy on race days, I decided to take the pre-emptive strike and take some immodium on Saturday night before bed. Probably one of the best decisions EVER to prevent dehydration. Up, ready and out the door by around 6:00 for the 6:30 start. I was starting in corral 34 out of 36, so the fact that as I walked up, the 3rd corral was starting didn't worry me at all. My friend Rachael and I hung out in the corral, took a few pictures and tried to chat and relax. The longer we stood, the hotter I got, the sweat started to run, and I got more and more scared that I wasn't going to make it.
I use an interval timer, and run for 30 seconds, then walk for 30 seconds. I started out really comfortable. I didn't even bring my GPS because in reality, the tunnels and underpasses screw it up so badly, its not reliable. I just turned on my music, and my Gym Boss timer app, and headed out. My friend Rachael and I agreed that we were going to start out together, but I didn't want to hold anyone back. I passed Rachael fairly early on, knowing that wouldn't last all that long. I had to stop at mile 4 to slather everything from my hoo-ha to my knees with vaseline to avoid chafing. The last thing I needed was chafing. Rachael caught up to me while I was bathing myself in vaseline to see how I was doing. I grabbed us both some ice to chew on and we headed back out.
Last year at mile 4 was when I started to fall completely apart and my stomach started to revolt. Every step beyond that that I didn't feel like I was dying was an improvement over my experience last year. See, when you've been on a weight loss journey and trying to find yourself for as long as I have, you HAVE to acknowledge not just the successes, but also the improvements. Life changes take time, and effort, and persistence, and it certainly is NOT a success only journey. Facing my previous failures is one way for me to push myself beyond what I myself, and sometimes even everyone else, doubts I can do.
When you are on a race course, you look for entertainment, and encouragement, wherever you can find it...This was a good start, yesterday:
At mile 6, I trotted myself through a fire hydrant turned misting station, and LOVED every second that the cool water lasted on my body, even if I did have to hold my tutu up because it got too heavy with the water. I was rapidly approaching mile 8, which I knew was where it all ended last year. At mile 7, I hit a major wall. I didn't feel like I was going to make it, AT ALL! I was hot, I was tired, and I knew my pace was falling off. (I had maintained a 15 minute mile through the first 10k, but that wasn't happening anymore). I walked all of mile 7 I think. At mile 8, I realized that last year when they were talking about taking me to the hospital, I was on the hospital grounds. I told them I didn't have time, not realizing I was right there all along. At mile 8 medical tent, I grabbed some salted Gatorade to try to prevent the dehydration from setting in. I grabbed a few hand fulls of ice as well. I shoved 1 handful in my cleavage, 1 down my back, and then put some in that nasty salted Gatorade. Salted Gatorade isn't nearly as vile when it is cold. I walked about half of mile 8 while I drank my Gatorade, then picked up my intervals again. I was able to maintain the intervals fairly well until mile 10.
It got really, really hot at mile 10 and just couldn't keep running. I kept putting my feet out and going as much as I could. From mile 10-the finish line save for the tunnel through the parking garage, we were in the sun. With the heat, that made it super brutal. I walked the majority of what was left of the race. At mile 11, There was someone handing out cold wet sponges, and a misting station immediately after that.
I just kept walking. Somewhere around mile 10-1/2, my running play list kicked to "Just Keep Swimming" from Finding Nemo. I did just that. People were dropping like flies around me. There was someone picked up in the tunnel under the parking deck, and another one within the site of the finish line.
At the mile 12 medical station, I jogged over, and the medic got nervous. I told them, I just needed ice. When they pointed me to a kiddie pool full of ice and water, I grabbed a wash cloth, threw it on top of my head. I also grabbed a few handfuls of ice, again. I put some in my bra, rubbed some one my lips and chewed on some a bit at a time.
With just over a mile to go, it started to get very hot, and very real. We passed Soldier Field:
On Saturday, we (my running mom friends and I) headed out early for the 5k. It is a pretty simple course, all on sidewalks, through parks, and along Lake Michigan. It is beautiful, partly shaded, but somehow, the windy city hadn't even a breeze to offer us while running along the lake, and I thought for sure I might spontaneously combust. I was imagining myself like a popcorn kernal just exploding at some random time. Instead, I finished my 5k in just over my previous PR time. My average pace for the race was 14:11, for a time of 44:03.
Probably the highlight of my day was when I finished and we headed to the finish line festival, in the hopes of meeting Meb. Meb is the same age as I am, and won the 2014 Boston Marathon in just over 2 hours. That means he ran 26.2 miles in about 2 hours and 9 minutes. Considering that at 2 hours, I'm just over halfway done with a half, he's a flipping speed demon. As you can see on my blog heading, I did indeed meet Meb, and he was SOOO nice! He asked me my name, shook my hand, and genuinely smiled and congratulated me on my 5k.
After the race, we went to Giordano's for some amazing Chicago Deep Dish Pizza. It was delicious!!! After I felt like I had run the 5k in a sauna, I knew that my plan of running in capris on Sunday was a horrible idea, so we headed off to TJ Maxx and I found what was labeled as a Tennis skirt, and a bit shorter than I would normally wear, but it would be cooler than the capris, so I took the risk. We ate dinner at the hotel, and then off to an early bedtime to prepare for the half marathon yesterday. Sitting at dinner, I almost started crying just because the forecast was brutal. I had a panic attack at dinner just thinking about it.
 |
| When a group of moms get together, run away for a weekend, to go running, we can still clean up pretty well. |
We were up at 5 yesterday morning to prepare for the race. Because I get a nervous tummy on race days, I decided to take the pre-emptive strike and take some immodium on Saturday night before bed. Probably one of the best decisions EVER to prevent dehydration. Up, ready and out the door by around 6:00 for the 6:30 start. I was starting in corral 34 out of 36, so the fact that as I walked up, the 3rd corral was starting didn't worry me at all. My friend Rachael and I hung out in the corral, took a few pictures and tried to chat and relax. The longer we stood, the hotter I got, the sweat started to run, and I got more and more scared that I wasn't going to make it.
I use an interval timer, and run for 30 seconds, then walk for 30 seconds. I started out really comfortable. I didn't even bring my GPS because in reality, the tunnels and underpasses screw it up so badly, its not reliable. I just turned on my music, and my Gym Boss timer app, and headed out. My friend Rachael and I agreed that we were going to start out together, but I didn't want to hold anyone back. I passed Rachael fairly early on, knowing that wouldn't last all that long. I had to stop at mile 4 to slather everything from my hoo-ha to my knees with vaseline to avoid chafing. The last thing I needed was chafing. Rachael caught up to me while I was bathing myself in vaseline to see how I was doing. I grabbed us both some ice to chew on and we headed back out.
Last year at mile 4 was when I started to fall completely apart and my stomach started to revolt. Every step beyond that that I didn't feel like I was dying was an improvement over my experience last year. See, when you've been on a weight loss journey and trying to find yourself for as long as I have, you HAVE to acknowledge not just the successes, but also the improvements. Life changes take time, and effort, and persistence, and it certainly is NOT a success only journey. Facing my previous failures is one way for me to push myself beyond what I myself, and sometimes even everyone else, doubts I can do.
When you are on a race course, you look for entertainment, and encouragement, wherever you can find it...This was a good start, yesterday:
At mile 6, I trotted myself through a fire hydrant turned misting station, and LOVED every second that the cool water lasted on my body, even if I did have to hold my tutu up because it got too heavy with the water. I was rapidly approaching mile 8, which I knew was where it all ended last year. At mile 7, I hit a major wall. I didn't feel like I was going to make it, AT ALL! I was hot, I was tired, and I knew my pace was falling off. (I had maintained a 15 minute mile through the first 10k, but that wasn't happening anymore). I walked all of mile 7 I think. At mile 8, I realized that last year when they were talking about taking me to the hospital, I was on the hospital grounds. I told them I didn't have time, not realizing I was right there all along. At mile 8 medical tent, I grabbed some salted Gatorade to try to prevent the dehydration from setting in. I grabbed a few hand fulls of ice as well. I shoved 1 handful in my cleavage, 1 down my back, and then put some in that nasty salted Gatorade. Salted Gatorade isn't nearly as vile when it is cold. I walked about half of mile 8 while I drank my Gatorade, then picked up my intervals again. I was able to maintain the intervals fairly well until mile 10.
It got really, really hot at mile 10 and just couldn't keep running. I kept putting my feet out and going as much as I could. From mile 10-the finish line save for the tunnel through the parking garage, we were in the sun. With the heat, that made it super brutal. I walked the majority of what was left of the race. At mile 11, There was someone handing out cold wet sponges, and a misting station immediately after that.
I just kept walking. Somewhere around mile 10-1/2, my running play list kicked to "Just Keep Swimming" from Finding Nemo. I did just that. People were dropping like flies around me. There was someone picked up in the tunnel under the parking deck, and another one within the site of the finish line.
At the mile 12 medical station, I jogged over, and the medic got nervous. I told them, I just needed ice. When they pointed me to a kiddie pool full of ice and water, I grabbed a wash cloth, threw it on top of my head. I also grabbed a few handfuls of ice, again. I put some in my bra, rubbed some one my lips and chewed on some a bit at a time.
With just over a mile to go, it started to get very hot, and very real. We passed Soldier Field:
Which I had to take a picture of for my sister. Then we went up and over an overpass. The last person I saw down was laying on the finish line side of the overpass. I felt so awful for her. She clearly just couldn't go any further. I kept pushing along, and was in sight of the finish line. Every step hurt a bit more. By this point, my interval time had quit working and shut down, and I couldn't hear my music because the water I kept dumping on my head had gotten into my earbuds. I took them out, and did what I started my training doing, run to the next light pole, walk to the next light pole, using light poles, instead of a timing app. I got into the finisher's chute, and I heard the announcer say, "And here's Krista Blackburn".....I wanted to jump up and down and scream, "That's me! I MADE IT!!!", but I didn't have the energy, so I just kept trotting, then walking...
I finished my second half marathon finish line in 3:40:38. This was about 13 minutes slower than the Savannah Publix Women's half in March. That race was PERFECT race weather, about 62 degrees and flat. Chicago was about 30 degrees warmer, and most-certainly was NOT flat. For some reason that I don't quite understand, the streets we ran on that were parallel to Michigan Avenue there was a breeze, and they were a bit shaded. Running up the streets perpendicular to Michigan Avenue, I felt like I was being baked in a Deep Dish Chicago Pizza Oven.
My finisher's photo is pretty priceless, honestly. You can see my tears, and I'm trying desperately to smile, but just couldn't quite do it. After crossing, I just stopped to cry. The medics kept telling me how awesome I was for having finished. I had decided prior to finishing I was definitely going to stop and ask them to take my blood pressure to check me for dehydration. When I reached the finish line and was able to cry; real, wet tears, I knew I wasn't dehydrated, so I skipped it. I got my medal, and a wash cloth soaked in ice water. Next was a thing of chocolate milk which I can only describe as tasting something akin to crack...it was SOOOO good. I did stop at the 2nd med tent to get some ice for my sore knee and headed out to find my friends.
We headed over to the finish line festival to pick up our remix medals (for having completed the 5k, and the half marathon I got an extra medal).
I took a seat to listen to the after race concert by Andy Grammer, and got to hear this live!
I sat down to listen to Andy Grammer and the reality of what I had done and how I was feeling set in for sure. I looked pretty horrible, but then reality set in. This year was FAR worse than last year heat and humidity wise. I was never in danger of being swept. I only saw the sag wagon once, and that was when the course had a turn around, and they were about a mile behind me or so. I am super proud of what I did. It was brutal. There were people dropping like flies, and I made it. I didn't meed medical attention, other than for my knee, and stopping at the doctor today.....
 |
| Sitting in the park, listening to Andy Grammer and sporting 2 of my 3 medals |
After we got back and showered, 5 of our group members headed out to get tattoos. So as we piled into a cab (There would be no more walking as a means of transportation after the half marathon was over) I had my left foot in the cab and my right foot in the gutter. Our not-so-observant cab driver started driving off. The other ladies yelled at him, and as I felt the tire of the cab rub the back of my heel, I jumped out of the cab and back up onto the curb. I jumped out of my shoes, dropped my purse, and almost busted my face on the scaffolding there. Fortunately, the worst part was that I further injured my already painful foot, but didn't end up under the wheels of his cab. The girls climbed out and we got ourselves another taxi. We all piled in again, and headed back out to get our running tattoos.
We had Cheesecake Factory for dinner and headed back to the hotel again. It was an early night, and I got up to head out early this morning to head home.
Upon my return home, I decided to get my foot checked out since I can't walk very well at all. There was nothing on the x-rays, but the doctor is concerned about the fact that I have previously had a fracture that wasn't visible on an x-ray, and only diagnosed with an MRI. He is concerned that maybe my Navicular fracture from 3-1/2 years ago never healed, or that I may have re-broken it or another bone. I'm wearing a brace for the next 2 weeks, and then a follow-up, which may lead to an MRI, then who knows what.
When I was on the race course yesterday, I swore that it was my last ever half. I should have clarified that it was my last half in July, and until I knew what was wrong with my foot/ankle. See, the thing is, I had my weight loss surgery to get healthy, not to break my body until I couldn't walk in the name of health and fitness. I truly don't know how I feel about another half right now. I'm so very proud of what I have accomplished. I don't hurt at all today, with the exception of my right foot/ankle. My legs aren't sore and I feel awesome. I finished my half yesterday, and was able to continue doing the things I wanted to do, I didn't have to go lay in bed because I was so broken. The biggest deciding factor for me is definitely the physical well-being of my foot and ankle. Right now, it doesn't look or feel all that good:
So, let's see what the appointment in 2 weeks holds, and how well the ankle heals. I'd appreciate any thoughts and prayers you could send my way. Rachael, Jennifer, Julie, Michelle and Stacey--you ladies made this weekend one of my favorite get-aways EVER! You are all so much fun, and it was amazing. I can't do Chicago again next year, but I just KNOW we'll meet up again soon at another race. Rachael--I'll be cheering you on at MCM in October. You all inspire me!
Krista
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
WLS, My Reality...and questions about Cosmetic Surgery
I've had this post rolling around in my head for the last month, maybe. I don't know. It's a kind of weird, rambly, multi-topic post that may not make much sense. That is all because I can't even wrap my brain around all the things I am feeling.....
So a few weeks ago, after a run, my 11 year old son pointed out how much smaller my belly was than it used to be. Then a few days later, as I was wearing my bikini and getting ready to get into the pool, he pointed out that I had a "wiggly tummy". I was mortified that he felt like that was an OK thing to say to anyone, but then again, I have tried to raise my kids to be open and honest. After having a very calm conversation about the fact that it isn't OK to say whatever it is that pops into your head, and that while things may be a fact, they can still be hurtful and should be kept to ones self, I felt very conflicted. Here's why.
I had weight loss surgery so that I could be active and be able to keep up with my 3 amazing kids. I didn't have it to be skinny, or to look like a model (like that would EVER happen anyway), but to be the healthiest wife and mother I could be. Now that I've lost 95#, the long list of possible plastic surgeries it would take for my body to look "normal" I started to feel very fake. I didn't want to lose weight to have the perfect body, but to be healthy, so WHY do I feel the need to undergo additional surgeries to "fix" my body cosmetically?
As I stood in the shower and washed my stomach later that afternoon, I realized that my body tells a story. It tells of a 40 year struggle with the body that God endowed me with. It tells of my struggle with obesity, and it shows what having 4 pregnancies can do to a woman's body when she is already obese at the time of conception. But my body also tells a beautiful story of redemption and hard work. I'll ignore the obvious argument that I've heard about a million times since telling people of my decision to have Weight Loss Surgery that I "took the easy way out" and the million recommendations I've heard of what I should have done instead.
I took control of the only thing in this life that I truly feel has ever beat me. I have survived a rape at age 18, I survived a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage, I survived the death of my son, Henry James at 18 weeks gestation, WHY couldn't I get beyond the weight issue? Why was that the 1 thing I couldn't "beat"?
So now, here I sit, wearing my size 14 Ralph Lauren capris (down from a size 22), my 36DD bra (down from a size 44DDD), having completed a sprint triathlon, a half marathon, getting ready to run my 2nd half marathon this weekend, feeling like I still need to have surgery to "fix" me and make myself acceptable. So, I'm going to do something I NEVER thought I would do. I'm going to share some pictures that also help to document my journey in a very real, and scary way. I bought a "goal bathing suit" the weekend before my WLS nearly 2 years ago with the plan of taking pictures in it along the way to see the progress. Somewhere along the way, that bikini has been lost, but since I bought a new one last month, I have something to show the comparison, which is quite frankly, shocking to me. The pictures of now show my flaws too. My thighs are saggy, my belly button barely visible, the girls aren't where they're supposed to be, but that's why Victoria makes so much $$ for her secret.
I'm not saying I'll never have cosmetic surgery, quite frankly, clothes are often uncomfortable thanks to the belly skin hanging down, and the saggy thigh skin. I may well have surgery at some point, but it would be more for comfort than for cosmetic purposes. This body has carried 4 babies, 3 to term...It has allowed me to complete a triathlon, a few 5k's and a half marathon. It has let me fail to complete 6 half marathons, but I've never given up. This is the body God gave me, and I'm going to do whatever I can to keep it healthy and thriving. My body shows battle wounds and scars, it tells a story of hard fought battles; some battles have been won, some are ongoing, and some were lost...but it's MY story, MY body, and at least for today, I'm going to love myself and my body. For today, I'm going to accept the stretch marks, and saggy skin for what it is, proof of progress toward a goal of health and fitness; besides, is there a "loose skin" factor taken into account for health and fitness? Me thinks not, so for now, I'll keep mine.
The pictures in the yellow bathing suit were taken on October 4, 2013, just 4 days after my WLS, thus the reason for the large bruises, as those were my incision sites. The other 2 were in May. I took the standing one in the Target dressing room, trying to decide whether I should be the girl wearing a bikini who obviously had no reason to be at the beach. The last was taken by my husband. I was laying out at the beach, obviously I had decided that I didn't mind being "THAT GIRL" that got the rolled eyes for wearing a suit obviously too small for my body, and he thought I looked hot. Clearly, Gravity isn't kind, but when I lay down, everything kinda falls into a decent place. This is when I'm most torn about having cosmetic surgery. I can see the body I "could have" if I let someone take away the extra skin on my thighs and tummy and stretched the skin more taut.....Ah, the struggles of facing reality.
So a few weeks ago, after a run, my 11 year old son pointed out how much smaller my belly was than it used to be. Then a few days later, as I was wearing my bikini and getting ready to get into the pool, he pointed out that I had a "wiggly tummy". I was mortified that he felt like that was an OK thing to say to anyone, but then again, I have tried to raise my kids to be open and honest. After having a very calm conversation about the fact that it isn't OK to say whatever it is that pops into your head, and that while things may be a fact, they can still be hurtful and should be kept to ones self, I felt very conflicted. Here's why.
I had weight loss surgery so that I could be active and be able to keep up with my 3 amazing kids. I didn't have it to be skinny, or to look like a model (like that would EVER happen anyway), but to be the healthiest wife and mother I could be. Now that I've lost 95#, the long list of possible plastic surgeries it would take for my body to look "normal" I started to feel very fake. I didn't want to lose weight to have the perfect body, but to be healthy, so WHY do I feel the need to undergo additional surgeries to "fix" my body cosmetically?
As I stood in the shower and washed my stomach later that afternoon, I realized that my body tells a story. It tells of a 40 year struggle with the body that God endowed me with. It tells of my struggle with obesity, and it shows what having 4 pregnancies can do to a woman's body when she is already obese at the time of conception. But my body also tells a beautiful story of redemption and hard work. I'll ignore the obvious argument that I've heard about a million times since telling people of my decision to have Weight Loss Surgery that I "took the easy way out" and the million recommendations I've heard of what I should have done instead.
I took control of the only thing in this life that I truly feel has ever beat me. I have survived a rape at age 18, I survived a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage, I survived the death of my son, Henry James at 18 weeks gestation, WHY couldn't I get beyond the weight issue? Why was that the 1 thing I couldn't "beat"?
So now, here I sit, wearing my size 14 Ralph Lauren capris (down from a size 22), my 36DD bra (down from a size 44DDD), having completed a sprint triathlon, a half marathon, getting ready to run my 2nd half marathon this weekend, feeling like I still need to have surgery to "fix" me and make myself acceptable. So, I'm going to do something I NEVER thought I would do. I'm going to share some pictures that also help to document my journey in a very real, and scary way. I bought a "goal bathing suit" the weekend before my WLS nearly 2 years ago with the plan of taking pictures in it along the way to see the progress. Somewhere along the way, that bikini has been lost, but since I bought a new one last month, I have something to show the comparison, which is quite frankly, shocking to me. The pictures of now show my flaws too. My thighs are saggy, my belly button barely visible, the girls aren't where they're supposed to be, but that's why Victoria makes so much $$ for her secret.
I'm not saying I'll never have cosmetic surgery, quite frankly, clothes are often uncomfortable thanks to the belly skin hanging down, and the saggy thigh skin. I may well have surgery at some point, but it would be more for comfort than for cosmetic purposes. This body has carried 4 babies, 3 to term...It has allowed me to complete a triathlon, a few 5k's and a half marathon. It has let me fail to complete 6 half marathons, but I've never given up. This is the body God gave me, and I'm going to do whatever I can to keep it healthy and thriving. My body shows battle wounds and scars, it tells a story of hard fought battles; some battles have been won, some are ongoing, and some were lost...but it's MY story, MY body, and at least for today, I'm going to love myself and my body. For today, I'm going to accept the stretch marks, and saggy skin for what it is, proof of progress toward a goal of health and fitness; besides, is there a "loose skin" factor taken into account for health and fitness? Me thinks not, so for now, I'll keep mine.
The pictures in the yellow bathing suit were taken on October 4, 2013, just 4 days after my WLS, thus the reason for the large bruises, as those were my incision sites. The other 2 were in May. I took the standing one in the Target dressing room, trying to decide whether I should be the girl wearing a bikini who obviously had no reason to be at the beach. The last was taken by my husband. I was laying out at the beach, obviously I had decided that I didn't mind being "THAT GIRL" that got the rolled eyes for wearing a suit obviously too small for my body, and he thought I looked hot. Clearly, Gravity isn't kind, but when I lay down, everything kinda falls into a decent place. This is when I'm most torn about having cosmetic surgery. I can see the body I "could have" if I let someone take away the extra skin on my thighs and tummy and stretched the skin more taut.....Ah, the struggles of facing reality.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)