The most difficult part of this darned journey to get healthy are the speed bumps in the road and tolls you have to pay to be on this journey. These tolls and speed bumps serve as warning signs and speed traps along the way, and they are the most difficult part for me to "get over". I really enjoy working out these days, I love to sweat, it feels good to get out of breath and know that I am doing something to help myself at this point.....the problem is, my speed bumps, tolls, and speed traps are all food related. The fact of the matter is, my eating habits are the only reason that the scale isn't showing the decreases that I would like to see. I need some serious help with food. I am a foodie--I love to eat!! I like how I feel when I eat sugary stuff, I hate to tell myself "no" and I LOVE food about as much as my body hates it. I eat what I want, only to feel like crap a few hours later and miserable the next day...then the guilt sets in. "I'm a failure", "Why did I just do that?", "Why did I just let myself eat that?" The sad part is, as smart and well-educated as I am, this is the biggest hurdle I have to overcome.
I have a cruise to be on in 5 short months and would really like the reflection I see in the mirror to be one I am happy with. I am supposed to be running a half marathon on February 26 of next year, but there isn't a chance in the world that I can run 13.1 miles at the 240.2 pounds that I am tipping the scales at at the moment. I just have no idea how I'm going to get over this particular speed bump in my health and fitness. The fact of the matter is, at this point, I'm not even eligible for individual insurance because of my weight (Even though I have NONE of the typical and expensive co-morbidities that go with Obesity).
I NEED HELP!!! So, I have decided to change personal trainers. The new trainer is also a certified nutritional counselor. This is an uphill battle for me with my history, as well as the fact that I have 1 child who has sensory integration disorder and can't eat meat, or pasta, or most anything except chicken nuggets, yogurt, cheese and chips without vomitting. Add to that the next child who won't eat anything her big brother doesn't, and a job schedule that leaves my poor darling husband home 2-3 nights/week with 3 kids that he has to figure out how to feed, bathe and tuck into bed before their exhausted Mommy gets home and you have the perfect storm of circumstances for frozen, easy, overly-processed and preserved foods and you get a ridiculously unhealthy family! This trend has GOT to change.
I will gladly accept any advice that anyone has to offer with the exception of surgery or meal replacement shakes, and the like. Surgery is a very good option for many people, but as a woman with a clotting disorder that makes it 120% more likely I will have a blood clot that the average person, major surgery is just NOT a good idea. As far as the meal replacement shakes and things go, again, another valid option for many, but not something I can feesibly do for the rest of my life, so not something that will work long-term for me.
Thanks!
krista
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Progress....
As anyone who has ever undertaken a new journey as large as the one I have started can attest, there are moments where you wonder if it is worth all the effort. With weightloss, because you see yourself in the mirror every day, it is difficult to notice any changes. I have started to feel drastically different in the last few weeks and I was wondering what changes, if any, were noticable to anyone else. Well, massive changes are happening, and i now know that the changes MUST be visible.
I started working out with my trainer in late February, right before my birthday. We did my first measurements on March 1. I weighed in at a frightening 267 pounds. I have made drastic changes since then, and the results are very clear.
1st, I finished a 5K last weekend, in a total of 50:49 minutes. I had set a goal of finishing in under an hour, and obviously reached that. I have also been bitten by the running bug, and am looking forward to a half marathon training program that begins at the end of this month. I will be running a half marathon in February, and possibly in October.
2nd, I have lost a total at this point of 26 pounds, so I am down to around 241. I am about 1.4 pounds from the 230's, which is very, very exciting!
3rd, I have lost an eye-opening total of 38.75 inches off of my body in the last 3 1/2 months or so. I fin that number hard to even process. I have set a goal to lose 20" in the next month, and hopefully another 10-12 pounds.
4th, and most importantly in my opinion, any time you make these kinds of drastic changes in your life, there will be times when things happen that make you want nothing more than what USED to comfort you, like eating away your sorrows. The reality of it is, there is no amount of food, ice cream, or anything that will make the situation better or easier to deal with. In fact, one of the best things to get stress in control is exercise. So--from here on out, when I have a HORRIBLE day, like I had on Tuesday, I will choose to run/exercise instead of eating.
Krista
I started working out with my trainer in late February, right before my birthday. We did my first measurements on March 1. I weighed in at a frightening 267 pounds. I have made drastic changes since then, and the results are very clear.
1st, I finished a 5K last weekend, in a total of 50:49 minutes. I had set a goal of finishing in under an hour, and obviously reached that. I have also been bitten by the running bug, and am looking forward to a half marathon training program that begins at the end of this month. I will be running a half marathon in February, and possibly in October.
2nd, I have lost a total at this point of 26 pounds, so I am down to around 241. I am about 1.4 pounds from the 230's, which is very, very exciting!
3rd, I have lost an eye-opening total of 38.75 inches off of my body in the last 3 1/2 months or so. I fin that number hard to even process. I have set a goal to lose 20" in the next month, and hopefully another 10-12 pounds.
4th, and most importantly in my opinion, any time you make these kinds of drastic changes in your life, there will be times when things happen that make you want nothing more than what USED to comfort you, like eating away your sorrows. The reality of it is, there is no amount of food, ice cream, or anything that will make the situation better or easier to deal with. In fact, one of the best things to get stress in control is exercise. So--from here on out, when I have a HORRIBLE day, like I had on Tuesday, I will choose to run/exercise instead of eating.
Krista
Sunday, May 22, 2011
I need to get this off my chest....
So, the elephant in the room when someone talks about weightloss is always 1 of 2 things, "How did you let yourself get so big to begin with" or "I can't believe that you ate that" etc. I am going to step outside of my normal comfort zone and rather than type about my weight-loss journey, I am typing this to the friends, family members and aquaintances of anyone who has ever had to undertake such a massive, life-changing experience. You see, if you have never had to do something like this for yourself, it may seem difficult to understand, and I want for everyone to know what we, the overweight trying to change it, need from our friends and loved ones.
1--It is not easy for us to exist every day in a skinny/healthy world in our current state. The mere thought of going into a gym, or discussing our current health situation can and often does induce panic and anxiety that we are going to be judged which is one reason why so many of us have stayed this way for so long. We know and understand exactly what we are, and what we must look like to people who have never had a weight problem, but the last thing we need or want is judgement.
2--This is a life-altering experience, one that is very difficult. This is something that is going to have its ups and downs, just like anyone who is changing anything major in their life would attest to. My particular situation is one that includes 36 years of horrible eating and exercise habits. 36 years of bad habits are NOT easy to overcome. There will be times that we make bad decisions. We will make bad decisions about our eating and exercise routines. We will hit plateus, both physically and mentally. You cannot possibly be any more let down or frustrated by these things than we are, so please don't judge or belittle us for them, please continue to show your support.
3--If you don't know what to say, or even for a split second question the appropriateness of a comment you are about to make, don't make it. It is hard enough to undertake this journey, small sarcasting and well-intended comments can easily send us into a tailspin of epic proportion.
4 and final--this is not easy! If it was, there would be no audience interest in shows like "The Biggst Loser", "I Used to be Fat", "Heavy", etc. This is an epidemic, and if it was easy to overcome, there wouldn't be enough overweight people in the world for these shows to be successful....just a though.
Thanks for reading....feel free to share with your friends and loved ones.
Krista
1--It is not easy for us to exist every day in a skinny/healthy world in our current state. The mere thought of going into a gym, or discussing our current health situation can and often does induce panic and anxiety that we are going to be judged which is one reason why so many of us have stayed this way for so long. We know and understand exactly what we are, and what we must look like to people who have never had a weight problem, but the last thing we need or want is judgement.
2--This is a life-altering experience, one that is very difficult. This is something that is going to have its ups and downs, just like anyone who is changing anything major in their life would attest to. My particular situation is one that includes 36 years of horrible eating and exercise habits. 36 years of bad habits are NOT easy to overcome. There will be times that we make bad decisions. We will make bad decisions about our eating and exercise routines. We will hit plateus, both physically and mentally. You cannot possibly be any more let down or frustrated by these things than we are, so please don't judge or belittle us for them, please continue to show your support.
3--If you don't know what to say, or even for a split second question the appropriateness of a comment you are about to make, don't make it. It is hard enough to undertake this journey, small sarcasting and well-intended comments can easily send us into a tailspin of epic proportion.
4 and final--this is not easy! If it was, there would be no audience interest in shows like "The Biggst Loser", "I Used to be Fat", "Heavy", etc. This is an epidemic, and if it was easy to overcome, there wouldn't be enough overweight people in the world for these shows to be successful....just a though.
Thanks for reading....feel free to share with your friends and loved ones.
Krista
Monday, May 9, 2011
Status Update!
Hey there!! Well, I am pleased to announce that in the first 2 months of lifestyle changes, I have lost 21 pounds, and a total of 22 inches off my body. I couldn't be any prouder of myself.
I am working out an average of 5-6 times a week at this point, and may soon find myself featured on a "success wall" in the gym where I now work. We were talking about doing a success wall to encourage the members/new members of the gym and show how awesome people can do! I was the first person that came to mind for all in the room, which was flattering.
On the job front....I sold 2 memberships today, added 2 people on to an existing member's membership. I made almost $150 today in comission alone...YAY!!
Krista
I am working out an average of 5-6 times a week at this point, and may soon find myself featured on a "success wall" in the gym where I now work. We were talking about doing a success wall to encourage the members/new members of the gym and show how awesome people can do! I was the first person that came to mind for all in the room, which was flattering.
On the job front....I sold 2 memberships today, added 2 people on to an existing member's membership. I made almost $150 today in comission alone...YAY!!
Krista
Friday, May 6, 2011
PSA about grandiose statements....
Consider this a public service announcement....when you make grandiose statements about what you are going to do, and how you are going to do it, the Devil will begin dancing on your doorstep and trying fervently to keep you from succeeding. Just remember to tell him to get behind you in the name of the God and he has no choice.....hard lesson for me to remember.
I am happy to report that things have gone pretty well this week, and am still enjoying my new job. I have sold 2 memberships and have another appointment set up for next Thursday already. I spoke to a very nice woman today who was interested in joining and wanted to compare us to another gym. I really do feel strongly that she will be back, but I'm not 100% sure. It has been really fun meeting and encouraging new and older members alike on their weightloss journeys.
I have met the nicest girl at work, who I really enjoy talking to. She is wise beyond her years, and truly enjoyable to talk to. She it beautiful and genuinely nice to everyone she encounters. I wish that I had had her confidence and self-awareness when I was her age, heck, I wish I had it now. I'm still operating on a "fake it till you make it" mentality.
Last thing is this....It is difficult to know someone's story based on sight. I overheard a conversation in the gym yesterday about me, between 2 older gentlemen, and I use that term VERY loosely. As I happened by them, and they didn't know I was coming I heard 1 guy say "I just don't get it...I wouldn't buy something from someone who obviously isn't using it themselves. Who would buy a gym membership from an overweight woman?" Well, I desperately wanted to turn around and confront his ignorance, but thought better of it. I figure if he is ignorant enough to speak such things openly, my comments and remarks to him will almost certainly fall on deaf ears. So, I decided to take the high-ground...I will just sit back and let him watch me shrink. He doesn't know me, doesn't know my journey, and doesn't know how hard I have worked and am continuing to work. So quite frankly, he can kiss my still rather ample hiney, and as it shrinks, and is harder for him to find, I will gladly mark the spot....What a jerk!!!
Till next time....
Krista
I am happy to report that things have gone pretty well this week, and am still enjoying my new job. I have sold 2 memberships and have another appointment set up for next Thursday already. I spoke to a very nice woman today who was interested in joining and wanted to compare us to another gym. I really do feel strongly that she will be back, but I'm not 100% sure. It has been really fun meeting and encouraging new and older members alike on their weightloss journeys.
I have met the nicest girl at work, who I really enjoy talking to. She is wise beyond her years, and truly enjoyable to talk to. She it beautiful and genuinely nice to everyone she encounters. I wish that I had had her confidence and self-awareness when I was her age, heck, I wish I had it now. I'm still operating on a "fake it till you make it" mentality.
Last thing is this....It is difficult to know someone's story based on sight. I overheard a conversation in the gym yesterday about me, between 2 older gentlemen, and I use that term VERY loosely. As I happened by them, and they didn't know I was coming I heard 1 guy say "I just don't get it...I wouldn't buy something from someone who obviously isn't using it themselves. Who would buy a gym membership from an overweight woman?" Well, I desperately wanted to turn around and confront his ignorance, but thought better of it. I figure if he is ignorant enough to speak such things openly, my comments and remarks to him will almost certainly fall on deaf ears. So, I decided to take the high-ground...I will just sit back and let him watch me shrink. He doesn't know me, doesn't know my journey, and doesn't know how hard I have worked and am continuing to work. So quite frankly, he can kiss my still rather ample hiney, and as it shrinks, and is harder for him to find, I will gladly mark the spot....What a jerk!!!
Till next time....
Krista
Monday, May 2, 2011
Hello?!?! Hello?!?!! Yes, I'm still here.
Wow--the last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind.
First--The end of my teaching carreer was difficult, but refreshing. I have never left a job and felt so sure that it was the right thing to do. The level of stress and anxiety in my daily life has been minimized to the point that I haven't had the chest pain caused by anxiety that has been a daily occurance in my life for the last 2 or 3 years.
Second--I have started my new job, and it is totally different, but really nice as well. I have gotten to take the kids to school every day for the last 2 weeks (except when Barney and I were at the beach) and am spending more time with them. It is inspiring to be in the gym all day, and I Love the fact that I am there 5 days/week to be able to work out.
Finally--BACKSLIDING SUCKS!!!!! I wasn't able to work out last week, except for 30 minutes with my trainer. Barney and I also went to the beach for a couple of days as an anniversary trip (tomorrow will be 8 years) and I didn't stress myself out about my diet or exercise....I should have stressed myself out about it. I got on the scale this morning to find that I have gained 5 pounds in the last week. In the past I would take this minor and annoying set-back as proof of what a horrible failure I am in life, and the fact that I obviously don't deserve to be happy/healthy. Not this time! I am done feeling that way about myself because the reality is, it just isn't true. I AM worth it, and I DO deserve to be happy and healthy, and I AM NOT a piece of crap or a failure! I am back on track and will be losing this weight from now on...I will NOT give up on myself...I have done that enough, and I deserve better!
TIll next time
Krista
First--The end of my teaching carreer was difficult, but refreshing. I have never left a job and felt so sure that it was the right thing to do. The level of stress and anxiety in my daily life has been minimized to the point that I haven't had the chest pain caused by anxiety that has been a daily occurance in my life for the last 2 or 3 years.
Second--I have started my new job, and it is totally different, but really nice as well. I have gotten to take the kids to school every day for the last 2 weeks (except when Barney and I were at the beach) and am spending more time with them. It is inspiring to be in the gym all day, and I Love the fact that I am there 5 days/week to be able to work out.
Finally--BACKSLIDING SUCKS!!!!! I wasn't able to work out last week, except for 30 minutes with my trainer. Barney and I also went to the beach for a couple of days as an anniversary trip (tomorrow will be 8 years) and I didn't stress myself out about my diet or exercise....I should have stressed myself out about it. I got on the scale this morning to find that I have gained 5 pounds in the last week. In the past I would take this minor and annoying set-back as proof of what a horrible failure I am in life, and the fact that I obviously don't deserve to be happy/healthy. Not this time! I am done feeling that way about myself because the reality is, it just isn't true. I AM worth it, and I DO deserve to be happy and healthy, and I AM NOT a piece of crap or a failure! I am back on track and will be losing this weight from now on...I will NOT give up on myself...I have done that enough, and I deserve better!
TIll next time
Krista
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Who's that girl?!?!
As time goes on, I am becoming more and more unrecognizable to myself. Who is this girl that is going to the gym 5 times a week? Who is this Krista who registered to run a 5K? Who is this Krista? The reality of it is, I am unrecognizable to myself. I don't even know where to begin. I don't know who I am anymore, but I love who I am. I have never loved myself before, but I love the new Krista.
I love that I have the confidence to sign up for my first ever 5K!
I love that I have the confidence to research cruises without the horrific fear of that meaning I would have to wear a bathing suit in front of thousands of strangers!
I love that I have the confidence to put my trust in God and allow him to lead me down this new career path in my life!
I love that my friends and family are being so very loving and supportive!
I love that my kids are learning from the example that I am doing my very best to show them!
I love ME. I have never been able to say that with any guineness or belief, but I can today! I love the Me that I am becoming on my 37th revolution around the sun, and I LOVE the woman that I will be phyically and mentally by the time I begin my 38th revolution around the sun!
Good Night!
I love that I have the confidence to sign up for my first ever 5K!
I love that I have the confidence to research cruises without the horrific fear of that meaning I would have to wear a bathing suit in front of thousands of strangers!
I love that I have the confidence to put my trust in God and allow him to lead me down this new career path in my life!
I love that my friends and family are being so very loving and supportive!
I love that my kids are learning from the example that I am doing my very best to show them!
I love ME. I have never been able to say that with any guineness or belief, but I can today! I love the Me that I am becoming on my 37th revolution around the sun, and I LOVE the woman that I will be phyically and mentally by the time I begin my 38th revolution around the sun!
Good Night!
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