I need to get this off my chest....

So, the elephant in the room when someone talks about weightloss is always 1 of 2 things, "How did you let yourself get so big to begin with" or "I can't believe that you ate that" etc.  I am going to step outside of my normal comfort zone and rather than type about my weight-loss journey, I am typing this to the friends, family members and aquaintances of anyone who has ever had to undertake such a massive, life-changing experience.  You see, if you have never had to do something like this for yourself, it may seem difficult to understand, and I want for everyone to know what we, the overweight trying to change it, need from our friends and loved ones. 

1--It is not easy for us to exist every day in a skinny/healthy world in our current state.  The mere thought of going into a gym, or discussing our current health situation can and often does induce panic and anxiety that we are going to be judged which is one reason why so many of us have stayed this way for so long.  We know and understand exactly what we are, and what we must look like to people who have never had a weight problem, but the last thing we need or want is judgement.

2--This is a life-altering experience, one that is very difficult.  This is something that is going to have its ups and downs, just like anyone who is changing anything major in their life would attest to.  My particular situation is one that includes 36 years of horrible eating and exercise habits.  36 years of bad habits are NOT easy to overcome.  There will be times that we make bad decisions.  We will make bad decisions about our eating and exercise routines.  We will hit plateus, both physically and mentally.  You cannot possibly be any more let down or frustrated by these things than we are, so please don't judge or belittle us for them, please continue to show your support. 

3--If you don't know what to say, or even for a split second question the appropriateness of a comment you are about to make, don't make it.  It is hard enough to undertake this journey, small sarcasting and well-intended comments can easily send us into a tailspin of epic proportion.

4 and final--this is not easy!  If it was, there would be no audience interest in shows like "The Biggst Loser", "I Used to be Fat", "Heavy", etc.  This is an epidemic, and if it was easy to overcome, there wouldn't be enough overweight people in the world for these shows to be successful....just a though.

Thanks for reading....feel free to share with your friends and loved ones. 

Krista

Status Update!

Hey there!!  Well, I am pleased to announce that in the first 2 months of lifestyle changes, I have lost 21 pounds, and a total of 22 inches off my body.  I couldn't be any prouder of myself. 

I am working out an average of 5-6 times a week at this point, and may soon find myself featured on a "success wall" in the gym where I now work.  We were talking about doing a success wall to encourage the members/new members of the gym and show how awesome people can do!  I was the first person that came to mind for all in the room, which was flattering. 

On the job front....I sold 2 memberships today, added 2 people on to an existing member's membership.  I made almost $150 today in comission alone...YAY!! 

Krista

PSA about grandiose statements....

Consider this a public service announcement....when you make grandiose statements about what you are going to do, and how you are going to do it, the Devil will begin dancing on your doorstep and trying  fervently to keep you from succeeding.  Just remember to tell him to get behind you in the name of the God and he has no choice.....hard lesson for me to remember.

I am happy to report that things have gone pretty well this week, and am still enjoying my new job.  I have sold 2 memberships and have another appointment set up for next Thursday already.  I spoke to a very nice woman today who was interested in joining and wanted to compare us to another gym.  I really do feel strongly that she will be back, but I'm not 100% sure.  It has been really fun meeting and encouraging new and older members alike on their weightloss journeys. 

I have met the nicest girl at work, who I really enjoy talking to.  She is wise beyond her years, and truly enjoyable to talk to.  She it beautiful and genuinely nice to everyone she encounters.  I wish that I had had her confidence and self-awareness when I was her age, heck, I wish I had it now.  I'm still operating on a "fake it till you make it" mentality. 

Last thing is this....It is difficult to know someone's story based on sight.  I overheard a conversation in the gym yesterday about me, between 2 older gentlemen, and I use that term VERY loosely.  As I happened by them, and they didn't know I was coming I heard 1 guy say "I just don't get it...I wouldn't buy something from someone who obviously isn't using it themselves.  Who would buy a gym membership from an overweight woman?"  Well, I desperately wanted to turn around and confront his ignorance, but thought better of it.  I figure if he is ignorant enough to speak such things openly, my comments and remarks to him will almost certainly fall on deaf ears.  So, I decided to take the high-ground...I will just sit back and let him watch me shrink.  He doesn't know me, doesn't know my journey, and doesn't know how hard I have worked and am continuing to work.  So quite frankly, he can kiss my still rather ample hiney, and as it shrinks, and is harder for him to find, I will gladly mark the spot....What a jerk!!! 

Till next time....
Krista

Hello?!?! Hello?!?!! Yes, I'm still here.

Wow--the last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind. 

First--The end of my teaching carreer was difficult, but refreshing.  I have never left a job and felt so sure that it was the right thing to do.  The level of stress and anxiety in my daily life has been minimized to the point that I haven't had the chest pain caused by anxiety that has been a daily occurance in my life for the last 2 or 3 years.

Second--I have started my new job, and it is totally different, but really nice as well.  I have gotten to take the kids to school every day for the last 2 weeks (except when Barney and I were at the beach) and am spending more time with them.  It is inspiring to be in the gym all day, and I Love the fact that I am there 5 days/week to be able to work out.

Finally--BACKSLIDING SUCKS!!!!!  I wasn't able to work out last week, except for 30 minutes with my trainer.  Barney and I also went to the beach for a couple of days as an anniversary trip (tomorrow will be 8 years) and I didn't stress myself out about my diet or exercise....I should have stressed myself out about it.  I got on the scale this morning to find that I have gained 5 pounds in the last week.  In the past I would take this minor and annoying set-back as proof of what a horrible failure I am in life, and the fact that I obviously don't deserve to be happy/healthy.  Not this time!  I am done feeling that way about myself because the reality is, it just isn't true.  I AM worth it, and I DO deserve to be happy and healthy, and I AM NOT a piece of crap or a failure!  I am back on track and will be losing this weight from now on...I will NOT give up on myself...I have done that enough, and I deserve better!

TIll next time

Krista

Who's that girl?!?!

As time goes on, I am becoming more and more unrecognizable to myself.  Who is this girl that is going to the gym 5 times a week?  Who is this Krista who registered to run a 5K?  Who is this Krista?  The reality of it is, I am unrecognizable to myself.  I don't even know where to begin.  I don't know who I am anymore, but I love who I am.  I have never loved myself before, but I love the new Krista. 

I love that I have the confidence to sign up for my first ever 5K!

I love that I have the confidence to research cruises without the horrific fear of that meaning I would have to wear a bathing suit in front of thousands of strangers!

I love that I have the confidence to put my trust in God and allow him to lead me down this new career path in my life!

I love that my friends and family are being so very loving and supportive!

I love that my kids are learning from the example that I am doing my very best to show them!

I love ME.  I have never been able to say that with any guineness or belief, but I can today!  I love the Me that I am becoming on my 37th revolution around the sun, and I LOVE the woman that I will be phyically and mentally by the time I begin my 38th revolution around the sun! 

Good Night!

The Countdown is on!

Well, I have one of the 2 weeks notice necessary, and this week should be pretty easy.  We have a field trip on Monday, and Friday is an early release day which includes an awards ceremony for the third 9 weeks, followed by early lunch, brief recess and sending the kids home...so I basically only have 3 days left to teach.  The kids don't know anything yet about my job change as I was instructed that we would send home a letter to the parents on Thursday afternoon.  I feel guilty to some extent, for leaving, but I also know that what I am doing is the best thing for me and my family!  I have spent so many years living my life for the people around me and trying to please them, that it seems very strange to do something for ME!!

In other news, the working out and eating better are going pretty darn well.  I have had a few slip-ups here and there,  but when I got on the scale this morning, I had lost a total of 20 pounds since beginning this journey in late February.  I don't remember the exact date that I started, but I know it was after teh 19th of February, but before my birthday...so maybe the 21 or 22?  So in under 2 months I have lost 20 pounds, which is pretty impressive.  I am so please with the outcome of my workouts, the hard work, and how I have stuck to this.  My trainer pushes me past limits that I have put on myself and grins at me the whole time.  When I started this journey, He had more confidence in my ability to succeed than I did, but now, I have all the confidence in the world that I will be successful on this journey.  I am going to make it to my goal this time. 

My new job is going to make that even more likely because I will be in the gym 5 days/week, and I will work out every day that I am there.  I will have no excuse at all for not getting my workouts in!  I will continue to work with Chris and push myself beyond the limits I have created for myself.  I am so very excited about this journey and how it is going.  In fact, there is a group of people that I met through the facebook page of one of the casting directors for Biggest Loser.  We are going to stay in touch and support each other as we each have a minimum of 100 pounds to lose, and our goal is for each of us is to reach our goal weight before the Biggest Loser 12 Finale in late November, early December.  That means that I have about 7 or 8 months to lose the next 100 pounds.  It is going to be a tough journey, and one that I'm sure will be wrought with difficulties and times that I just don't want to do the right thing, but one that is totally worth going on! 

I will be the healthy woman that I long to be by the time I turn 37 for sure.  The way I figure it, I gave myself a chance at a healthy and fit life for my 36th birthday, and it is going to take the entire year to get there....For my 37th birthday, I'm going to run the Princess Half Marathon on my birthday weekend at Disney World, (Yes, I do realize that that means I need to run 13.1 miles).  After that, I may need some surgical intervention to remove the excess skin left over after being overweight for 16 years and having my skin all stretched out for that long.  I will likely have to have a tummy tuck to remove excess skin...and I'm rapidly developing bat wings from excess skin on my upper arms. 

Till next time.

Krista

Thank you!!!

Your prayers and my hard work and dedication at the gym have morphed themselves into a job offer.  I am incredibly excited about what the future holds for me, even though it is a HUGE leap outside of the box for me. 

I had a 2nd interview this evening at the gym for a membership consultant position.  I have never done a sales job before, but I feel incredibly confident that this will be a good fit for me.  As a result, my last day teaching will be no later than May 12.  It is hard to believe that I will be doing anything else, but with the stress of test scores, unrealistic expectations, stacked classes, and the fact that I'm averaging about 80 hours/week of work, I really think the best thing for our home-life would be to leave teaching.  I am so excited about what the future holds...

As far as weightloss this week, well, it didn't go so well.  I gained some weight...but thanks to hormones, stress and not being in the gym for 3 days, I gained 4 pounds...but, I am back on track today.  I went and did Zumba tonight, Body Combat tomorrow night, then personal training w/Chris, body pump on thursday, cardio interval on Friday and another training session w/Chris.  In better news, I did burn nearly 3,000 calories today, and ate about 1200, so I got about a 2800 calorie burn in today!  YAY!

Krista